Nerd Dutchess

Evil macklemore (mackleless) song about buying brand new shit you don't need called Gift Shop

i laughed

look into the horses eyes its going to eat their faces so fucking fast

Apparently the context is this horse has injured everyone who has tried to ride them

Gets abducted by aliens and put in a zoo and slowly figures out how their language works and starts writing swear words on the glass when the alien children walk by

The aliens are like wait you can write and I’m like yeah I can talk too and they’re like why didn’t you say something sooner and I’m like well I figured you wouldn’t let me go since you’re clearly willing to kidnap a sapient being so I’m just taking revenge by making your toddlers more annoying

The aliens are like we didn’t know humans were sapient and I’m like did you miss all of that human civilization literally everywhere and they’re like what and I’m like look at the planet at night and they’re like holy fuck those lights are people we’ve been trapping and releasing people and meanwhile I’ve returned to writing swear words on the glass with my little alien sharpie

I glare at you from across the enclosure for ruining my alienthropology research by making them aware of being observed

Ignores you and keeps teaching a child that speaks alien sign language all the rude words for alien genitalia through the glass

Continues to glare with a twitching lip because that’s actually really funny

the problem with tumblr spells is all of you lil sluts are casting and not giving it time to charge so you're all casting cantrips and not 9th level death spells. everyone wants to be the one to take them down no one wants to be the one who assists

Wait stop. everyone +like now and spread it a little but cast on the same day in August. lets try August 6th or something.

imagine a park bench underneath