OpenOffice

Managing a team of individuals

It could be easy.  It could be rough.  The act of positioning yourself to manage individuals is one of much responsibility, but that responsibility opens you up to the positive and negative consequences caused by each person.  When the good things happen, it might be tempting to credit yourself to some of the success, and when the bad things happen, it might be time to either point fingers or find ways to cover up the mistakes -- that’s cowardly.  You gotta think of true leadership.

Let the individuals manage the team

“Get off your high horse”;  Don’t expect to have an army of hill-marching shepherds if you stay on the hill and looking down to army of sheep.  Everyone has an equally important job in life and you need to respect that.  If workers are outperforming each other at work, it’s irrelevant in the scope of positive health and happiness.  Everyone is solving their problems in the best way possible in their current capacity.  They are self managers.  

If you want to help, make sure you’re correctly managing your own mental and physical resources.  Boosting morale on an individual level not only helps those falling behind, but it raises the whole average.

Work with me, not for me

We’re all in this project together, in this community together.  Everyone is an agent of their own interests and experience, and we need to equally recognize each others’ strengths and weaknesses in a progressive and constructive way.  

Good karma - Be Progressive, Be Constructive

Karma isn’t about the “pay-back”.  The original meaning describes the “act of doing”.  If you believe in the “law of attraction”, good actions attract good results and bad actions attract bad results.  Here are some positive keys to good karma.

Progressive.  Grow by living in the moment;  Deal with each moment, leave it at that moment and move on from that moment.  We can feel proud or ashamed, but you must let it go and not re-visit it until work is done.  

Constructive.  Grow by seeking more than meets the eye;  When work yields good results, try to find ways to improve it - alter it, break a copy, reduce and simplify, build more support.  When work yields bad results, don’t make it personal - be honest with yourself and don’t expect yourself (or others) to have done better.  Just like in programming or computing, things happen exactly as they are supposed to, but confusion/frustration may result from the (poor) human’s lack of understanding. (“Programmer: I’ll never know why I got  that error, but it works!”)

Passion and Audacity are resources

Not magic.  They are finite resources - accumulated and spent.  Regularly check yourself to see if you’re being constructive when it comes to finding someone’s passion and building their audacity.

Passion as a superpower

It ignites the heart and soul, it draws blood and sweat, it ultimately enables good work.  Even if the work is not as intense or dramatic as I had made it sound, we are characters of passion.  Our potential and our drive is multiplied by our passions, and we have to be doing what we love doing.  Passion reflects the affirmation of inner feelings - you can enable passion by having positive karma, or destroy passion by having negative karma.

Strong teams share common passion.  Make sure to not take away from each other, but also to give to each other.

Audacity as a superpower

One of the most inspirational phrases, that I keep dear to me, were inspired by a story about Google cofounder Larry Page.  It reads:

“That sounds like it’s impossible… Let’s try it!”

When using audacity as a superpower, hold onto these two parts:

Experiment.  Try, try, try.  Record your ideas.  Test your ideas.  Build your ideas.  Try another idea.

Optimism.  The more you do, the more you add to yourself.  You never lose anything, because even losing something is an experience to gain.  Glass half full (but don’t stop at the top!)

Cong | Birthday, A Reminder.

It's a birthday cake that I didn't buy for myself. I got this chocolate cake from my Dad. For my 20th Birthday. (Yes, I'm typing in fragments.)

There's a thought pushing me off the cliff of foolishness and into the ocean of wisdom. It never crossed me before in a manner like this, but as I was cutting the cake I realized that this cake is not for me. This gift... is for my Dad and his happiness.

He is 58 years old but has worked away his youth, putting him in conditions of a typical man in his 60-70's. It didn't matter how much I burst out into joy and thanks for the gift, and it didn't matter how I overtly reacted. As long as I had acknowledged it, this, to my dad, was all he asked for: Another day being alive, cherishing life for the gift of simplicity that can be indefinitely taken away at any moment, being able to just see his son grow up and being able to interact without conflict. He has moved very close to his peace of mind, capable of being happy for the sole reasons that he CAN independently gift me a cake, that he CAN provide some sort of support, that he CAN still be a proud father to a proud son - and he DOES it.

When I had the connection flash into my mind at the time of slicing the cake, I looked at life as it was from his point of view. My Dad never said anything about my birthday, and he didn't ever ask to sit down and have a talk with me. He let me (and my brother) just live through life and experience our own hardships and trials, without being there every moment to constantly hold our hands and tug us in the right direction when we got off track. His two sons (my brother and I) had a rough time growing up, but through it all, Dad kept silent like a monk in meditation (he is also Buddhist.) In his mind, he knew that eventually we would come to these realizations on our own, and it would be much better understood because we've been through the pains and struggles. He was just always 'there', in the background, doing everything he did with the love and care for his children in mind.

So it was his gift, 'being able to and doing' things for his family knowing that one day he won't be 'there' anymore to have that privilege. I somewhat understood this concept last year, but through the bumps of stress and depression, it slips. And of course, on a normal day to day basis it's not something we think about or keep in mind when we plan things ahead for our future lives. When he was standing there waiting for me to make a wish and blow out candles, it was actually him who received the wish-come-true.

You may be going through difficulties in your life, such as financial debts, health complications, weight or physical problems, an unstable/insecure relationship, or identity crises. But then you have too much focus on the problem, and not enough on what you really have, or what you might lose out on if you dwell on your frustrations/depressions.

That might sound very cliche, but it's not just stepping back and shaking it off to realize that life shouldn't be taken for granted. You have to understand that you're not always going to get the things you normally expect from others, because one day all the circumstances will change and what's left is you. You will be forced to grow up when you're on your own, when it has left you, or has been taken away - all gone... But you.

From then, you have to live as though people won't be there to walk you through. You will have to grab the bull by the horns and find something to live happily for. You need to remember where you got all your strength, and give thanks, but don't follow what others expect of you; you need to pick up your gear, your strength, and walk to the path that is meant for you. Put a little bit more "you" in what you're doing.

...: Have an intention (eg. having a happy family or successful career), and everything that you do should be for the sake of that intention. If you make mistakes, it's okay. You will learn from living those mistakes. But never forget your intention.

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/08/empowering-beliefs/

There's a lot of things that are complicating our natural love for freedom and creation, and among these things, I'd like to point out a very simple concern that  people who are frustrated might want to consider.

There is something so powerful, enough to brutalize our self-esteem, and breeds a disabling pessimism, which leads us to put up mental obstacles on the path to success, and that is 'Judgment'.

As stated so straight-forward in history, "You have the right to kill me, but you don't have the right to judge me." And killing someone is committing to the belief that you think that someone is wrong, a violent hate. It's crystallized. It's legitimate. It's commitment to success. It's not sitting around and keeping thoughts inside, it's the actual act of your thoughts and it becomes an honest expression. You think something, go do it.

Oh wait. Killing is wrong? But JUDGING OTHERS isn't? What kind of self-abusive bullshit is that? You're not any better than the people you judge. You are a composite of the things you do, NOT the things you have done.

"There have to be more important things going on in the world than my past." If actions cause no harm or transgression against others, then what is the right in judging the person of doing such a thing? People don't seem to understand the fine line between freedom and crime, radical and insane, mindfulness and impulse. People are so god damn emotionally attached to their pasts, cry about failures, and live with regrets. Stop living miserable and stop being who you were and start being who you can be. "Can't is the cancer of happen."

(Generally,) We don't want to live a country under dictatorship, then why should there be a dictatorship within the family household? Why should you dictate anybody's life -- why should anyone's life be dictated by someone else? 

Just learn how to love one another, without judgment or opinion. Everyone's got struggles.

Just learn how to cooperate. If a person doesn't know how to control themselves, and they look for something to blame when things go wrong, fuck em. "You should have read the directions before you showed up at the party."

The discrepancy between the actual-self and the ideal-self is what determines the outcome of our self-esteem. The more fantastic and idealistic image it is of who you want to be, compared to who you are, then the more depressing and frustrating it is! So once you realize and accept the idea that... the ideal-self is equal to your actual-self, then you are able to do anything. Once you closed that gap completely, you can know that you are perfect and imperfect in every way possible - and that everyone else is made of the same stuff you are made of. It is the state of harmony, and peace with yourself.

The same discrepancy works the same way with your perception of reality. If your ideal-worldview (what the world should be) is too far from your actual-worldview ("what the world really is"), you will feel disconnected, frustrated, disappointed, or unhappy. ULTIMATELY, there is dissatisfaction, and you will not be able to embody one of the principals of harmony: acceptance. That is how you accept the world as it is; Close the gap between the ideal-view and the actual-view.

So how can you close the gap? How can I get better at it? Where do I start my practice?

Let's refer to the Yoko Ono 'YES Painting'.

We create limits and obstacles that hold us back from doing and becoming who we want to be. Of course we have to have some kind of ideal self if we want to progress and change. But it doesn't start there. You have to first completely close the gap and accept the world as it is, without any sense of how things should be. So how do we overcome or get rid of these "mental obstacles"? Imagine the YES painting. You know how kids are when they're little, with an uncapped and flowing imagination. They think of something (or want to be something) and they become creative; they create something new - and they run with it. "I want to be a knight in a kingdom of adventure, treasure and dragons!"

... and they become a knight in their own world.

Why should we be any different (rhetorical question mark ?)

The whole world has gotten it all wrong with rules, norms, laws, manners, order... We are told as little children NOT to do things, like "Don't touch the stove top" or "Don't touch the clothing iron" or "Don't talk to boys until age whatever". All of these are rules, obviously to keep us safe, but we live with them and eventually we over-analyze things to the point of being self-conscious and over-cautious.

It's like conditional logic: If X, then Y. Conditional thinking is all about "What if?" and "If I do this, this-that-and-this will happen." That's the kind of over-analyzing and self-consciousness that will hold you back from doing. 

We become apprehensive, and don't progress to becoming who we want to be. These are all rules saying NO. Anything that limits us is all about NO, (SHOULD) NOT, DON'T. It's like the Nike slogan: Just DO it. It's not "Just NOT DO it" because that's imposing a rule or an obstacle.

So we want to avoid "bad" reactions or "bad" consequences, like being hurt or shunned for what we did. But it's better to take a risk, do something weird or very abnormal and then have people think "That's WEIRD. You're weird. That wasn't normal of you (or anybody else) to do." Because then, you'll have finally taken one step closer to being who you want to be, one step closer to HONESTLY EXPRESSING YOURSELF and your EMOTIONS. So are you going to stop there? No. Don't quit. Because when you act weird enough, people will become used to you being weird. And as they become used to it, you become more and more closer to who you want to be.

It's hard to strike a balance between Doing Things Without Thinking and Thinking Too Much when you already feel nervous, but "Knowing is half the battle." So you have to get in the practice of: "What If (I did this). . .", then doing it. Don't think of the "THEN thisthis&this" part. Feed your curiosity, as if you were an ignorant child. "If I acted weird/approached/swore at/told the truth to someone"... then do it. Try it. Be weird and curious. Because in the end, you've done it; you're doing. And when you've done it, don't stop! Keep going and BE who you want to be!

As Bruce Lee had once said:

" Knowledge in martial arts actually means self-knowledge. A martial artist has to take responsibility for himself and accept the consequences of his own doing. The understanding of JKD is through personal feeling from movement to movement in the mirror of the relationship and not through a process of isolation.

* To be is to be related. To isolate is death. To me, ultimately, martial arts means honestly expressing yourself. Now, it is very difficult to do. It has always been very easy for me to put on a show and be cocky, and be flooded with a cocky feeling and feel pretty cool and all that. I can make all kinds of phoney things. Blinded by it. Or I can show some really fancy movement. But to experience oneself honestly, not lying to oneself, and to express myself honestly, now that is very hard to do. "

...

You just can't start thinking "NO" or "CAN-COULD/SHALL-SHOULD/WILL-WOULD NOT". Once you do, you stop being curious. Once you stop being curious (like a child), you become less imaginative and progressive. You become swamped with limitations and anxiety.

"Should I ask for this person's name?" "Should I open up to my parents?" "Should I apologize for something I did or didn't do?" "Should I talk to him/her or ask this question?" "Can/should I tell him the truth?" "Do I want to express myself freely and honestly?" "Will/can/shall I become a doctor/engineer/actor/musician/athlete/bartender/janitor/teacher/activist?" "Should I follow my intuition when others are telling me what I can/will/shall and can't/won't/shan't do?" "Will I act unlike everyone else?" "Will I keep being different and weird and never stop?"

All of these questions must be answered with YES. Not NO, because that's only going to stop you. Once you've starting doing things for the sake of doing, and being for the sake of being, you've reached peace and harmony with yourself. That is how you become free.

Without desires, expectations, rules, norms, and order, there's chaos. So live in chaos, because when you've gotten used to living in chaos, everything becomes order to you.

Ugh, despite being self-aware of the fact that I am in no condition to write, I feel compelled to. Inspiration is a storm that wages promiscuously. Forgive me for the lack of.....whatever you feel this will lack. Regardless, without further ado, here it is.

I recently came across this essay written by Paul Graham named "How to do what you love". I found it most pertinent since I have recently made a decision with quite a big impact on my future and personal life. It basically envelops the most important concepts linked to what is in my opinion the "key to happiness".

One of the things that will take most of your time during your life is obviously your job(s), you've been going to school ever since your young age for that specific purpose. I believe if I am going to spend most of my time at a drudgery, why not make it one that I enjoy? I have put my life on the line for this, and a thought that was most odd crossed my mind earlier today.

This is a suicide. I put my life on the line for one thing, that I MIGHT (since everything is possible, you never know) not achieve and which is probably the only reason for which I would want to live for. This game of poker can only go two ways, I'm holding the cards and I just went all in.

Then again, what's the point of living without risk? I'm not one to seek for a tranquil lifestyle, wife, house, dog. Hell no, I'm much too "special" for that. Maybe I'm being full of myself, maybe it's me trying to convince myself that if I can't have what I want, I might as well die.

And then I came to my senses, I was struck by a jolt of lucidity and realized that having the guts to do what you want, is all that, just as being brave doesn't mean being exempt of fear.

With that conclusion, I'm quite excited, I may be bored today but there are oh so many things to look forward to. Nothing or no one holds me down.

P.S : I wrote this being fully aware of how "cliche" or "odd" these ideas may seem, though you might not find them interesting or rather "not as rich", they're essential to me.

P.P.S : Go read Graham's essays www.paulgraham.com Worth the read.

P.P.P.S (Can I even do this?) : My head hurts, I've got a ton more on my mind which I will soon embody into (hopefully) eloquent enough words worthy of being read. More coming soon.

Mindfulness.

I’ve recently done some browsing and researching for my own curiosity and desire to self-improve my emotional-spiritual well-being. Depression has been a recurring issue the past couple of weeks and has been hitting me from many different directions, without a perceived understanding of what may have caused it during the depressive state. Right after the course of feeling down and low, there had been a gradual increase in mental clarity on the causes and effects of my psychological conflict. Here I am with another step towards heightened physical resilience.

During my internet surfing session, I started out with insecurity/apprehension/anxiety/obsession, which gradually transitioned to meditation and mindfulness. This gave me a bit of insight that would help me with my practice of ‘being in the moment’. I have been looking for more external information on the topic of consciousness and awareness, which has been, in turn, empowering to my physiological and psychological flow.

First, it helps to focus my attention on the immediate and present experience,detaching from my sense of continuity. This way, I can start allowing myself to recognize more mental events and be more aware of my current internal and external environment at every living moment. I recognize the concept of neuroplasticity, and therefore become more mindful of the physiological changes of the nervous system.

Second, I start practicing my life, and begin to embody the characteristics ofcuriosity, openness, and acceptance. With my attention reinforced by the idea of infinite probabilities, I begin to commit to my decisions and start to become more conscious of the physical consequences. That is, not just the effect I have on my environment, but accepting that I am part of a greater unity - rather than rejecting information that does not support the idea that I am an internal force separated from external forces. I open my mind and reduce the amount of “rejection” occurring in my controlled and automatic mental processing, thus allowing me to “free” myself from strict logic, rule-based, orderly/normative, continuity/pattern-based operations. These mental blueprints are helpful, but I strive to constantly be aware and curious of what is happening in the moment without emotional attachment to my expectations of the world.

So, for my own self-awareness, I have gained more understanding and interpretation of how I can apply the concept of neuroplasticity to gaining more control over my life and emotions. As the brain can be trained to do better at whatever it is doing at every moment, it gives me a sense of capability and freedom to ‘progress’ towards a ‘change’.

I also dipped into the concept of the biological immune system. Since having a stronger immune system can boost self-esteem, and having more positive thinking (optimism) can reciprocally help support the body’s immune system, I became more mindful of forcing a change in my brain’s processes and state to have a much more conscious effect on my physiology (ie. posture, tone of voice). My mind has become shaped to be less lazy and, in effect, my body also feeling less lazy and slouched.

If I can focus on conditioning my physiological immune system, why not condition my cognitive and emotional systems as well? After all, depression is a bitch I want gone for good, because it’s not going to help my relationships and personal well-being if it sticks around for much longer.

Be it sacrifice, pain, suffering, hard work, military, war, conflict, fear, anxiety, challenge, or adversity;

You can live life regretting the things you do and don't do, or you can let go and flow with every moment as it were a fresh new experience to be treasured, or a challenge for you to overcome.

You have to be prepared for anything, at any moment. In order to live to the fullest, you have to accept that you could die at any time. You would want to die happy or having felt/known that you've lived a good and satisfying life before you die. So be ready to live with all the consequences that are beyond your control - and rather, be ready to accept and work with the consequences perceived to be within your control.

Every mistake or failure should not be something to regret, it should be a lesson or stepping stone to becoming a greater person, a greater being. One life changing decision can bring your whole life to a big spin, but only if you have (big) plans or expectations that you're emotionally attached to. Don't let your life be dominated by constant dissonance. You can either be obsessed with disappointment or regret, or you can stay true to your values and virtue by detaching from what 'should have been/could have been' and then working hard to improve yourself in the game of 'the now'.

We need this sense of growth and independence, and it'll make us strong; When you fall down, you have to pull with the full force of your being to stand back up and to be knocked down again - eventually you'll have enough backbone to withstand the greatest challenges of the human being. But you must always learn and keep an open mind to what's happening at the ever-changing now, or else you will not advance and attain the higher willpower to achieve your goals and dreams.

My relatives, peers, and society may judge me for my faults and actions--who I am and what I've done--But it's not about what they see, but rather what I can do to be a good role model... For myself, friends and family, children and parents, young and old... for every human being. It is imperative to me to lead by example, not in the events or people in my life, but rather in the ideas that can be inferred or drawn from it. Who cares if I've failed a bunch of courses or hung out with the wrong people? It matters that I can go through life living experiences in which I have gained virtue and life values that have made me a strong person, and that I can share/teach this knowledge with other people so that they may not have to fall as hard as I do. And I'm not in this alone.

The role models that I look up to have lived through pains and been through struggles as horrible as or worse than mine. And they don't look down on me; They look up to me. They can get down to my level and push me up to the heights they've reached; they can make those sacrifices for things that are beyond just themselves (the bigger picture). These good role models are not here to judge me, or you, because they know that we're just as human as they are. They realize that you're just as potentially good or flawed as they are. They don't focus on your merits, but rather on your will to gain demerits and merits, and to help you fulfill your desire to be the best YOU that YOU can be. Good role models want you to be their role models--they want you to be better than them, and they will do what it takes to make it happen, if you so choose to be.

I've chosen to set new foundations for other people's lives, and be a supporting base for people who are going through similar life struggles. I have found myself in practice of avoiding these three sins:

1. Stagnation (apathy); Quitting (giving up)... ceased efforts in the development of character and the seeking of truth. (Live without regrets. Attack your fears.) 2. Disharmony; hurting, abusing or frustrating another person emotionally. (Break their bones or stress their memory, but do NOT deprive them of truth, and do NOT commit them to stagnation. Open your mind and empathize.) 3. The "Lie"; "Telling one thing but doing another," is a form of self-abuse.

On this very special yet mundane day, I will share with you some thoughts that have been loitering around effortlessly in the cloud of my thoughts.

As a human being axed towards growth, coming to ground shattering realizations is no remarkable thing, but one out of the many crabs in the bucket seems to be most recurrant.

It seems one of the greatest fears many of us (if not all) in our “modern” day society, are afflicted by is the one of letting go.

More precisely, instead of clinging onto a fading yesterday, a pile of crumbling bricks we are desperately attempting to tie together with straw, why can’t we simply kick down the walls that have been holding us captive?

A glorious empire HAS to be built on the remains of the preceding one, so for either one of us to reign, we need to first accept defeat, for we shall fight another day, perhaps for a better cause.

Source;-Events in my personal life

           -Louis C.K’s speech in honor to the legendary George Carlin (R.I.P)  

P.S : Abstract ideas such as these might be misinterpreted, so to make it as simple as possible, here’s what I meant: Try again with another approach.

a·pol·o·gy

   [uh-pol-uh-jee]

 noun, plural -gies.

1. a written or spoken expression of one's regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wrong another

STOP OVER APOLOGIZING.

What is it with people going to others for help or guidance and then later coming out feeling the compulsion to say sorry? Why is it that, when you've tried to better yourself or seek improvement, you should provide an apology -- an expression of regret? How come there seems to be some hypocrisy in those who preach "Live without regrets" yet express it after the consequences?

This whole world seems to have it all wrong - it's as though people are so sensitive about their privacy, and live by such insecure boundaries. Being overcautious is not  progressive. If you want to know something, then do what you can to find out. There needs to be transparency, there needs to be truth, and there needs to be cooperation. When you ask someone a question because you're seeking an answer that will make you better off in life, don't regret it. Stop seeing your failures as an end, but rather as a means. Don't propose yourself a lesson and back down on it, because if you regret asking, then how will you ever muster the courage to keep on asking and learning? It's like taking one step forward and two steps back.

"Decide to decide--and when you act, do so with the full force of your being. Second-guessing yourself is a form of self-abuse." When you trust a person, trust them. When you love a person, love them. When you want to ask a question, ask them. When you make a decision, stand firm with that decision and move forward to making newer and better decisions. That is what it means to have commitment. It's also damaging when you say one thing then do another. That's the hypocrisy.

If you ask for help and want someone to help you, then accept their help and be grateful for what they've done - not regretful. If you put forward efforts into bettering yourself, and receive the efforts of the other person, don't regret that--appreciate it! It's "thank you for your time (and effort)", NOT "sorry for wasting your time (and effort)".

There's a critical change in our lives and attitudes when we approach a situation with grace instead of regret. You have to learn and understand that humanity does care about and love you. If you invest a lot of effort and trust in a friendship or a relationship, then it would be reasonable for the other person to reciprocate. If you go on in life genuinely thinking that you're wasting people's time and effort, then you will actually be doing so.

Mr. Daws: Did I ever tell you I been struck by lightning seven times? Once when I was repairing a leak on the roof.

[brief footage of a man getting struck by lightning]

Mr. Daws: Once I was just crossing the road to get the mail.

[brief footage of a man getting struck by lightning]

Mr. Daws: Once, I was walking my dog down the road.

[brief footage of a man getting struck by lightning]

Mr. Daws: Blinded in one eye; can't hardly hear. I get twitches and shakes out of nowhere; always losing my line of thought. But you know what? God keeps reminding me I'm lucky to be alive.

[sniffles]

Mr. Daws: Storm's comin'.

You don't have to be rich to feel like a millionaire.

You may have not won the grand prize, or any prizes. But if you've at least tried to, then you can just imagine that you've won the grand prize.

"Oh but that's Unrealistic"?

It's unrealistic to constantly be beaten up by the seemingly impossible odds, and then accepting it. If you want to be a winner, you gotta start acting like one. You want to achieve something in your life? Start acting like you've already achieved it. That way, you've already made it seem possible; you've created the possibility.

Now you just have to start doing it.

First, Realize your current weaknesses, NOT your past ones. Accept them. Then you can start turning them into strengths by being strong. And if you want to BE strong, start acting strong.

You are like a character in a story. You ARE the character of YOUR STORY. So shape that character to who you want it to be. You just have to know why your character can't be who he/she wants to be, to know what weaknesses it has to improve upon at its current time, not the past.

Before I get into this, I have to let you know that I'm generally an internally distraught individual, and am as introverted as they come. Either ways, Here I go..

This is one of the many concepts I've contemplated during my recurrent sessions of daydreaming. Duality.

In whichever idea you may have, there will be an opposite to it.

Black/White

Love/Hate

Hot/Cold

Me/You

Matter/Anti-Matter

Is it flawed to see things this way? As if the world is divided into two seperate perspectives from which we can all stand in the middle of and forge our unique yet not-so-exclusive opinions. The attribute of subjectivity that we possess as humans, defining and dividing us from the cold earth...Our greatest but also our worst.

Angelina: I remember something from when I was little. Me and my father were driving somewhere far for a hockey tournament. (I've always been curious, by the way. My first sentence was "What's that?" Aha. I always wanted to learn things.) And I kept asking him a bunch of things that I was curious about. And he really didn't know how to answer them. They were way beyond my age and questioned religion and stuff... and it took him off guard that I was actually spending a good amount of time thinking about these questions.

Then he finally said that... Sometimes, it's better to just not understand things, because that way you can be amazed by them. Sometimes, when you explain things, it takes the magic, wonder and awe out of it, and then you're disappointed because it doesn't make you feel as awestruck, if you will, anymore.

And then I thought what he said was absolutely ridiculous, because for me, satisfying curiosity and figuring out how the world and things around me worked, made me feel so... awesome!

He said that if he had the choice between knowing nothing at all and knowing absolutely everything, he would choose to know nothing. Because that way, everything would be interesting, new, wonderful, and magical. But if he knew how everything worked, there would be nothing else to discover and the world would lose all of its 'magic'.

Andrew: He was protecting you.

Angelina: From what?

Andrew: He didn't want you to get where I'm at; Numbness isn't quite what I asked for, but it comes with the price of knowing.

Angelina: ... I want to bring you back.