Nyx

Buck opened said big fat mouth but Sal beat him to the punch. "I planned this little social visit all on my lonesome."

Chim was too tired to even begin to detangle the Raso-Deluca-Kinard-Buckley codependency web to figure out if Buck had gone crying to his union daddy about whatever had his panties in a bunch now. With Buck, it could be anything.

"If this is union business then get in line." He held out for an entire ten seconds before giving in and snatching up the cup. "I already got the deputy chief after my head about the late evaluations. You know how long it takes to write up an entire station's evals when half your shift is spent putting out literal fires?"

"I'm familiar," Sal said dryly.

Chim downed half the coffee, which was a mistake; his pulse rabbited. "What the hell is in this?"

"Four shots of espresso, a fuck ton of syrup, and I think she poured in a packet of instant coffee."

He stared in horror at the cup. "Why?"

"She fears neither god nor death." Sal stood and slid his phone into his shirt pocket. Chim would bet good money if those cell phone belt clips were still around, Sal would be a proud owner. He was such a dad. "Let's take this to your office."

His vagus nerve went wild and his pulse kicked up another notch that had nothing to do with the espresso. "You've already made yourself comfortable. We can do it here."

Sal made a point of looking around the open concept loft at where all of Chim's firefighters were doing a great job at pretending not to listen in on their conversation. He was particularly impressed by Eddie's intense pantomime of searching the fridge for the quart of milk two inches from his face.

"This is a conversation better suited to an office that has a door, Captain Han," Sal said.

Ravi, who was heading towards the coffee machine, turned on his heel and beelined straight for the stairs. Coward.

Chim forced a smile. "If you would follow me, Steward Deluca."

"I know the way, asshole," Sal said, and didn't even wait for Chim to take the lead.

"Now who's the asshole?" he muttered and hurried to catch up with Sal. He was surrounded by assholes with long legs. This was why Hen was his favorite.

They made it all the way to the office before Sal paused, hand on the doorknob. Like the bay doors, Bobby had liked to keep his office open. "It sends the wrong message if it's closed," Bobby had said once. "We're here to help. People need to know they're welcome."

Before Sal could get off a quip or, even worse, be understanding, Chim pushed past and inside. At some point between the lab and all of them returning to work, someone had packed up all of Bobby's personal effects and cleaned the place out. The pictures and the #2 Dad mug that May and Harry had gotten Bobby as a gag gift on Father's Day went to Athena. The little figurine of an old fire wagon was in the Buckley-Kinard household. He'd caught a glimpse of it when they went over for dinner, which was a whole ordeal as they had to pack up the kids and both Jee and Nash hated being in their car seats. He had been irritated when he saw it, not because he wanted the figurine—that would have been one more thing for the kids to break—but because it hadn't even been a choice. Of course it went to Buck, just like Bobby's recipe cards, written by various Nash generations, had gone to Buck. Just like Bobby's final orders had gone to Buck.

The only attempt Chim had made at personalizing the office was to put up the obligatory framed photos of the wife and kids. He hadn't seen the point of anything else given how little time he was in there since the LAFD was all in on going paperless, which meant his laptop's new home was on the kitchen table. The air was stale. A tin layer of dust covered everything. Sal sneezed.

"So," Chim said, absolutely not hesitating as he took a seat behind the desk and laced his fingers over his stomach, "why are you here, Sal?"

Sal sat across him, mimicking his posture with his own hands folded over his stomach. "I'm just curious about why Firefighter Buckley has not taken the full family leave he's entitled to as a new parent."

The effort it took not to roll his eyes hurt. "Christ, I can't believe he went whining to you about this. Actually, you know what? I can believe he went whining to you. Isn't this a conflict of interest?"

"Buckley is only married to my best friend," Sal said, deeply unimpressed. "It's not like he's my brother-in-law and I'm his direct supervisor. Now that would be a lawsuit waiting to happen."

Chim took a deep, calming breath. "Buck took a couple of weeks when Theo moved in. I can't force him to take every minute available to him." That was polite and professional and more of an explanation than Sal was owed, and yet something about Sal's face, the set of his mouth or the fact he apparently stole Tommy's bitchy eyebrows, goaded him into adding, "It's just a foster placement. It's not like he's got a new baby. Besides, Buck is the donor, not the dad."

Sal went very still and very quiet and very dangerous. "Then I guess you think Hen shouldn't have taken her family leave when she and Karen took in Mara."

Through the horrific churning of his stomach, Chim said, "That's different. Hen and Karen were adopting Mara. And Hen didn't take the full leave either. Hell, I only took a couple of weeks when my son was born. Buck isn't being singled out."

"Yeah, let's talk about PTO." Sal deliberately unlaced his fingers. If this were a nature program, this would be the point where Buck would explain to Jee and Nash what a threat display was. "I've been doing some digging. Unofficially, of course."

"Of course," Chim agreed, annoyed.

"The 118 has a lot of unused PTO sitting on the books, which I find concerning."

"Oh, do you?" The annoyance was reaching the flashover point. "Tell me more about how to do my job."

Sal's expression didn't change; he used to be easier to rile. "It's not a good sign when your people aren't using the time they're due and that they've earned. Now I don't know if it's because they're all workaholics, in which case you got yourself a culture problem, Captain Han, or because they don't think they're allowed to take it. And if they don't think they're allowed then that's where I come in."

The flashover ignited. "You know, Sal," Chim said with forced geniality, "it's a shame that you never made captain. I remember you keeping us going through all those shitty captains after Gerrard. You were good at it."

"I sense a 'but' coming," Sal said, clearly amused, which only made the Chim's anger burn hotter by sucking up all the oxygen in the room.

"But you are not a captain and you are definitely not the captain of the 118." He jabbed a finger into the desk. "You do not get to come into my house and lecture me about my job and tell me how to look after my people. And if Firefighter Buckley has an issue with the way I'm running this place then he can put on his big boy pants and come talk to me instead of running to the nearest dad shaped figure to fight his battles for him. We all miss Bobby but some of us have to be the actual grown up in the room!"

Now Sal's expression changed, but instead of the self-righteous fury he remembered Sal being so good at it, Sal just seemed sad. "Howie, do you even want to be captain?"

That shocked him out of his fury. "What kind of question is that?"

"An overdue one, I'm guessing." Sal looked around the office, taking in the blank walls and the few framed photos and, more irritatingly, the ill fitting way Chim sat behind the desk. "I was surprised when I heard Hen declined the captaincy. I had her marked down for climbing the ranks ever since that night she found the car we all missed. You remember that?"

He snorted. Did he remember the night he and Hen became partners? Like he could forget how Hen metaphorically kicked their asses into being brave enough to dump Gerrard.

"I faintly recall it," he said at his most snide.

That got Sal to smile. "That's when I knew that someday I'd be calling her chief." The smile dropped away. "But then I hear she turned Simpson down. She didn't want it anymore."

"Bobby was mentoring her. She stepped up as interim captain when he was away. She was the one making the hard decisions. That's how she got on Ortiz's shit list." He scrubbed a hand down his face. "She doesn't want it like this."

"Nobody wants it like this." Sal heaved an old man sigh. "Do you know why I became a union steward?"

"Well, Sal, if I had to guess, I'm going with the fact you got an anti-authority streak a mile wide and love to fight with the brass."

"Well, you're not wrong," Sal said, a flash of wry humor. "But I was here for Gerrard. I saw what he did to Tommy. It was worse for you and Hen, I know," Sal added before Chim could rightfully protest. "He ground us down and turned us into the worse version of ourselves."

"Us?"

"Me." Sal leaned forward, elbows braced on his knees. "I hate who I was under Gerrard. I hate how I treated you. I hate that my own best friend didn't feel safe to come out to me for years. I hate that it took me so long to do the right thing. I won't let another firefighter go through what we did. I will not let the brass protect more Gerrards."

"Is this your superhero origin story?" Chim said, knowing he'd crossed the line from good natured shit talking to mean bastard, but he couldn't stop. "It doesn't have the same flair as Spider-Man's origin, but, hey, at least you get the power without the responsibility."

Sal leaned back and donned a wide smile. "I'm going to do you a favor, Howie, since you're an old friend and we were in the trenches together."

"Lucky me," he said dryly. "That favor better be getting Buck to cool it on the snickerdoodle front. If I have to so much as see another cookie I'm transferring him to Alaska. I don't care how much Theo likes him."

"I'll do you one better. I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Bobby back when Firefighter Diaz almost killed a guy." Sal's smile became that of a great white shark. "I shut down the 138. I made sure there was an investigation into the culture the captain fostered and the harassment he encouraged. Every single firefighter who participated in the systematic sexual harassment was fired and denied all benefits. I oversaw the transfer of those affected firefighters to good houses with good captains. I dug and documented and uncovered every terrible, horrific thing they did, and I burned it all down and put heads on pikes and I salted the fucking earth. There will never be another Gerrard. I will not allow it, not even if it's the 118 and not even if it's your head."

"You self-righteous asshole," Chim said quietly, so furious he couldn't take a full breath. "You think you scare me? I've been dealing with people like you my entire life. I survived Gerrard. So if you want my head, Deluca, you're gonna have to fight for it."

"Howie," Sal said, not gentle because the only people Sal were gentle with was his daughter and Tommy, but kind, "do you want to be captain?"

Chim threw up his hands because the only other option was throwing a punch. "What fucking difference does it make? Hen doesn't want it. Eddie and Buck aren't anywhere near being ready to take command."

"You're not the only senior firefighter here," Sal said.

"But I am the only who fucking cares."

That was, Chim realized too late to do any good, a horrifying thing to say about the 118. It was the same thing Gerrard said every shift, the little phrase that allowed him to turn people into things: Gerrard was the only who cared about the job.

"I didn't mean that," Chim said into the asphyxiating silence.

"How did you mean it?" Sal said with what certainly sounded like genuine curiosity.

He forced himself to take a breath and then another. He brought his shoulders down a notch. "If I didn't take the badge," he said slowly, carefully feeling his way through the sentence, "then we would be stuck with whoever Simpson assigned here. We wouldn't get another Gerrard. I know you won't let that happen." He wasn't even annoyed with the way Sal tipped his head in faux modesty. "But we had a lot of captains between Gerrard and Bobby. You remember what they were like, right? They weren't bad captains but they—”

"Didn't give a shit," Sal said. "I remember."

The exhaustion ate away the last of the anger. "I don't want to get some guy who doesn't care about this place or about family dinner or about us." God, he was so tired. "We're Bobby's legacy and that matters."

Sal nodded thoughtfully and said, "I gotta ask one more time. Howie, do you want to be captain?"

"You're killing me, Smalls," Chim groaned. "Why do you keep asking that? Are you actually gunning for my job?"

"I'm asking because what it sounds like to me is that you took this job because no one else would and you were afraid the station would get saddled with a--"

"Mook?" he suggested.

Sal flashed a smile. "Yeah, with another fucking mook." The smile faded. "But you didn’t want this job, not like how Hen did and how Buckley does. And I think you resent the hell out of everyone for not stepping up and forcing you to do it, and I think that’s eating away at you.”

"I don't," he protested. "I'm not saying I would have chosen this if it weren't for everything, but I don't resent them for it. I'm doing this for them and for Bobby. We're a family."

Sal looked at him like Chim was an unstable building and Sal was trying to figure out the safest way to evacuate everyone inside. And then, with devastating precision, he asked, "And when was the last time you had family dinner?"

"Last shift," he said automatically, and then: "Wait, we had that call and Buck didn't get a chance to cook when we got back. So the shift before that. Or on Sunday. One of those days."

“You don’t seem sure about that.”

Chim opened his mouth to tell Sal to stop harassing him in his own station, but Sal had the audacity to be right: he wasn’t sure the last time they all sat down to dinner together. Buck had taken over cooking duties, but dinner was served buffet style with everything laid out so the rest of them could come and eat when they wanted to. It wasn’t like they were all retreating to their separate corners—people tended to cluster around the tv, on the couch, at the table, or leaning against counters because they were all raised in a barn—but they weren’t eating together, not like they before. Chim closed his mouth.

“Yeah,” Sal said, almost sympathetic. “This is your house now and you’re not handling it well.”

“So,” Chim said cheerfully, “this is the part where I tell you to get the hell out of my house.”

“This is what I’ve observed in the time I’ve been here,” Sal said, terrifyingly serious. “You have accused Firefighter Buckley of going behind your back by bringing me in, stated that he is not entitled to his full family leave per California law because he is only fostering Theo and implied that Firefighter Buckley is a child. You admitted to setting the precedence for not using PTO that the people under your command are entitled to and are resentful that Firefighter Buckley any family leave at all. You then proceeded to make several unprofessional and disparaging remarks about a firefighter under your command to another member of the LAFD. Is this you handling it well, Captain Han?”

“Let me tell you what I’ve observed,” Chim shot back, forcing his hands to lay flat against the desk. “Everything you just said exclusively pertains to how I’m treating Buck, which isn’t helping your case that he doesn’t immediately go running to you when another kid is being mean to him on the playground. My actual four year old daughter doesn’t complain as much.”

“That is a hell of a thing to say about your brother-in-law,” Sal said, “and an actionable offense as his captain.”

“Jesus Christ.” He dragged his hands down his face. “I know he’s your brother-husband, but this is still Buck we’re talking about. I’ve known him longer than you. Hell, I’m the reason you two even met.”

“You thought he was being unfairly treated and brought in an union rep to help him,” Sal said, tone heavy with meaning.

“Worst mistake of my life. Now I’m stuck dealing with both of you until one of us dies.” That was, Chim once again realized too late, too mean and too honest. “Bad joke.”

“That wasn’t a joke,” Sal said.

He gritted his teeth, and said, “I admit that was out of line. My son wouldn’t go down last night. I’m operating on about an hour of sleep.”

“The thing is, Howie, I don’t fucking care.” And there was the Sal that he knew and barely tolerated. “And those people out there, your people, don’t care either. You’re the captain. You don’t get to be tired or cranky or a goddamn asshole just because you missed some sleep. You don’t get to take out your frustration and resentment on Buckley because he’s your brother-in-law and you think that makes him a safe target. As you so aptly put it, Captain Han, you have to be the grown up in the room but all I’m seeing is a child throwing a tantrum. And my actual child knows how to behave better.”

“Tell me how you really feel, Sal,” he said, too exhausted to work up more anger. A tension headache throbbed behind his right eye. All he wanted was five goddamn minutes of quiet where someone wasn’t crying or grieving or expecting him to fix the unfixable. All he wanted was to be left alone so he could remember how to be a person again. “I’m serious. Dig deep. Lay it on me.”

“No one wakes up and makes the decision to be a hateful asshole, not even Gerrard.” Sal sounded as tired as Chim felt. “We give ourself little permissions every day. Your kid kept you up last night so that gives you permission to disparage Buckley in front of his coworkers. You didn’t take your full family leave so no one else should either. You care more about this job than anyone else, which means you can treat them however you want.”

Chim winced. “I get it, okay? I’m being a real asshole.”

“You don’t actually get it,” Sal said, and Chim had never seen him look so sad, not when Tommy was in the hospital and not even when he got himself fired. “I told you I’m here as a courtesy since we’re old friends. What’s happening here, all these little permissions and excuses you give yourself, this is how you get a Vincent Gerrard.”

“And you won’t let that happen again,” Chim said through a mouth gone sick and sour with shame.

“I never liked Nash, but I liked what he did for his place and what he did for you. I don’t want to have to salt the 118’s earth, but I will if I have to.” Sal stood. He wasn’t the biggest guy Chim knew—that honor went to his brothers-in-law—but had a talent for for filling the room, and right now there was no space left for him. “You saved Tommy’s life, and I am forever grateful for that, but I won’t protect you if you keep going down this road. The next time I com here, it will be in an official capacity.”

“Good talk, Sal,” Chim said, unable to summon up even the thinnest sarcasm. “My favorite part was the explicit threat at the end.”

Sal flashed that shark smile. “Don’t be dramatic. You’ll know when I’m threatening you.” The smile softened into something approaching genuine affection. “If you going to do this, Howie, you gotta do it right. And you don’t have to do it at all if you don’t want to. You can step down.”

“That will be all, Firefighter Deluca,” Chim said.

“Good to see you, Captain Han.” Sal nodded at him and then finally got the hell out of Chim’s house.

Chim got a full four minutes of quiet before the bell went off and then another minute before Hen shouted, “We gotta go, Cap!”

Buck didn’t respond. His eyes were fixed on the table. 

Hen coughed. “Uh, maybe we can talk about something else.” 

“I’m just saying,” Chim said. “All the single firefighters are doing it because it’s for charity. Even Tommy wouldn’t say no to it.” 

“If he doesn’t want to do it, then he doesn’t do it,” Hen said. “It’s fine, Buck, really.”

Chim made a noise. “It’s for charity.” 

Buck pushed back from the table and left without saying a word. Harry saw him pulling out his phone as he walked away. 

“Chim, you can’t keep pushing him. If he doesn’t want to do it, then he doesn’t,” Hen said. 

“Yeah, I know.” 

“Just let him throw his tantrum,” Eddie said. “The rest of us have real problems to deal with.” 

Harry caught May’s eye trying to convey to her that this was actually the norm. Harry didn’t know what it had been like when Hen was there, but he imagined that it had been just about the same. Or maybe Hen had been the voice of reason and she was the thing missing from the 118 that made it all work. Aside from Bobby, that is. 

“Maybe Maddie can talk to him,” Chim mused. 

Dinner was a bit awkward after that, but they kept it going until May and Hen had to leave and then Harry wound up on clean-up duty. Buck made himself mostly scarce for the remaining hours of their shift and then he was the first one dressed and out the door.

It shouldn’t have been a shock when a few days later, Buck announced that he’d take part in the auction. Chim clapped him on the back. Eddie asked if that meant he still needed to be involved. Ravi offered him his fist and Buck knocked his against it. He shot Harry a smile. 

“Does that mean the return of the Buck-flip?” Harry asked, to be cheeky. 

“Definitely not.” 

“And your tweaked back?” Harry asked. He’d never been quite sure if Buck was making it up, or if he really was hurt.

“It’s still a bit stiff,” Buck admitted. 

When the day of the auction rolled around, Buck was in the room they had set up for them to get ready, pumping everyone up. His entire energy had shifted and Harry had no idea what to do about it. When he wasn’t walking around giving everyone peppy advice, he was on his phone, texting away. 

Eddie for his part showed up with a bandaged wrist and a black eye. Harry had heard about it from his mom without many details about why Eddie was injured and Harry had passed on the information to the rest of the 118 through the group chat that was quieter than anything. He suspected that Buck had made sure Eddie didn’t use it as an excuse. 

Harry went for $1000. It was reasonable. It was great. It was his mom that won the bid, that part was less great. 

Athena wouldn’t even apologize for it, shrugging her shoulders. Harry just slumped in his chair. It wasn’t that he had even wanted to be won by anyone in particular, it was that he had hoped to go for more and that he had wanted to go to someone that wasn’t his mother. He got over it watching the others go. Eddie with his phone bids and Ravi…Ravi being won by May. Then, came Buck with a whole presentation. That was allowed? Harry was mad no one had told him it was an option. He was great at powerpoint. 

The room went wild, Buck was in a tanktop after ripping off his shirt. Harry hadn’t even gotten a chance to do that — no, he wouldn’t have done it. That would have been a step too far. 

“He definitely didn’t need my help,” May said with a shake of her head. “Wow.” 

“Shameless,” Eddie muttered. 

The bids were racking up one after the other and then, they were all laughing when the knitting group from the call earlier in the week won the bid for Buck. Buck didn’t even seem to mind as he stepped down from the stage to talk to them. 

“He did break his record,” Chim said with a huge grin from the table behind them. 

When Buck walked over to join them, he had a big grin plastered on his face. “I have a knitting date.” 

“I guess you’re embracing aging,” Maddie said, voice teasing. 

Buck rolled his eyes, but then was distracted by his phone for a moment. 

“And don’t think you’re getting out of the date I just overpaid for,” his mom said, eyebrow raised pointedly. 

“Just as long as you make my favorite,” Harry said back. 

She smiled at him and Harry thought that maybe it wouldn’t be too bad. 

A few days later, he and his mom had their “date”. It brought him back to when he was just a little kid on the days when his mom didn’t have work but May was busy at school or some sort of afterschool program and so they’d go out together. Sometimes to the store, sometimes just to the park, sometimes to get ice cream. Just the two of them. Then he’d tell his dad all about it when he got home and he would listen like Harry really had something important to tell him. 

In the end, it was fun. Harry got to fill her in on how things were going at work — nothing to do with the Buck and Chim situation — and she told him what happened with Eddie that got him injured. 

“I’m only telling you this because as much as you always want to help someone, you need to set boundaries.” 

“I know, mom,” Harry said. 

“I’m just saying,” she said. “But I am proud of you, Harry.” 

“Well, thank you, mom.” 

Hen’s first day back at work involved a huge banner welcoming her back, cupcakes that Buck had made and that Chim nodded approvingly at, and a lot of clapping as she stepped back into the station. Harry thought it was nice and she seemed thrilled for the welcome. He had no idea if anything would change with Hen around, but he liked that she was back where she belonged. Out of everyone at the 118, it was Hen that Harry had known the longest. She was practically an aunt to him in so many ways from how much she had been around when he was little and he thought that it might be a little strange to work with her, but she was also Hen and so she didn’t make it weird. Instead, she sort of made it fun in her own way. 

“So,” she said, taking a seat next to him, “how has it been for you?” 

“It’s been good,” Harry said. 

“Well, I saw the selfie you sent your mom on your first day.”

Harry had been excited. He’d graduated after a few hiccups, gotten his mom to really give him her approval, and then the 118 had requested him specifically. It was more than Harry could have asked for. So despite all the weirdness with Chim and Buck, Harry was still happy. Anyway, it seemed like things had gotten straightened out between them. 

At the moment, Buck was sitting on the edge of an armchair, holding two knitting needles with a wonky looking scarf. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked like he had no idea what he was doing. 

Hen’s eyes followed his line of sight. 

“How did he even make that much scarf?” She asked. 

“He probably didn’t,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “Is it supposed to be a scarf?” 

“What else could it be?” Hen asked. “It’s definitely not a sweater.” 

Buck glanced up from his knitting — if it could be called that — and gave them an unimpressed look before going back to it. He didn’t last long before he stuffed it all back into the bag it had come out of and Harry didn’t think that it would ever come out of there again. 

“How was the date with the knitting circle?” Hen asked. 

“Fun, actually,” Buck said. “They were pretty cool.” 

“Buck is entering his final form,” Chimney said. 

“What form is that?” Buck asked, frowning. 

Harry watched them. 

“Grandma,” Chim said and burst into laughter at his own joke. Hen and Eddie joined in. Ravi too. Harry couldn’t help but crack a smile. 

Buck rolled his eyes and Chim just nudged him. It was the first time that Harry had seen Chim make a joke at Buck’s expense that didn’t put a sour look on Buck’s face. The difference between being laughed at and being in on the joke. 

The klaxon interrupted them and they all rushed down. 

Harry was starting to get used to running into his mom on calls that involved LAPD. She was already there when they arrived. A car had been buried in cinder blocks. Harry was put with Buck, Ravi, and others to move the bricks off. Both victims made it out alive and Athena got to arrest the one that had apparently held up a convenient store. 

“It’s good to be back,” Hen said. 

“It’s good to have you back,” Chim corrected. 

They had an easy night after that, but maybe it was that it had been an easy day or something else entirely, but Harry just couldn’t fall asleep. So, instead of tossing and turning he headed out of the bunk room and up to the loft. He was unsurprised to find Buck there, the tv on with the volume low. 

“Can’t sleep, probie?” 

“Not really,” Harry said. 

“Well, maybe this will help,” Buck said. “Documentary. It’s really interesting.” 

Harry settled down next to Buck. He didn’t think he would find whatever Buck was watching interesting, but he had nothing better to do. It seemed to be some kind of nature documentary. 

“You, uh, you couldn’t sleep either?” Harry asked. 

“I found out today that my parents are coming to visit,” Buck said. 

“Oh,” Harry said. “And that makes you not sleep?” 

Buck shook his head. “Not normally. It’s just that they sprung it on us. Me and Maddie. She called earlier because they called her to let her know they were coming.” 

“At least they’re telling you in advance.” 

Buck scoffed. “Barely. An hour after we get off this shift.” 

“Oh,” Harry said. 

Harry had gotten to watch his mom freak out every single time her parents came into town. They were great with him and May, but there had always been some tension especially between his grandma and mom. He didn’t know much about Buck’s parents or what their relationship looked like, but he suspected if Buck was this wrung out about it, that it wasn’t good. 

“And for some reason, Maddie gave them my address,” Buck said.

”And that’s a bad thing?” Harry asked.

”Yes. No. I don’t know,” Buck said and he let out a frustrated groan. “They have an RV, it’s not like they’re coming to stay with me or anything but this feels like that’s what Maddie wants.”

Because, Harry inferred, she and Chim probably didn’t want them staying with them. Harry didn’t know what to say. For all the issues that existed between him and his mom, he thought that Buck clearly had bigger problems with his parents. 

“She’s the one that gets along with them,” Buck continued. “She has the buffer of the kids. And them just springing this visit on us just out of the blue—“ Buck trailed off. “You, uh, you don’t need to worry about any of this, Harry.”

“No, I don’t mind,” Harry said. “What are they like? I mean, if you don’t mind me asking.” 

Buck stared out seemingly at the distance. “They’re…well, Maddie and I always say they were bad parents, but not bad people.”

To Harry that sort of made sense and didn’t all at the same time. It was a bit of an oxymoron because wouldn’t bad parents inherently just be bad people? 

“They were very hands off until something happened to make them pay attention. Getting hurt. Spending all my tuition money on a party. Crashing a motorcycle. That type of thing.”

”What?” Harry said, not quite being able to not find it a little funny. 

So, Buck told him about growing up as a second thought. How he stayed out of the house as much as possible and didn’t even think his parents noticed that he wasn’t there. How when he was hurt his mom cried and his dad gave him his time. Playing football because his dad actually talked to him about it and encouraged it and showed up for his games. How they got when he got injured during games. Then, trying out college and things not working out. How he’d wound up leaving home for good soon after that. 

Harry imagined that those years had been very lonely. He didn’t think he could have handled just taking off on his own and going from place to place and even leaving the country. He figured that it said a lot about Buck’s parents that Buck felt so self sufficient when he was still that young and that they must not have done anything to get Buck to come back to them.

“I think I sort of get why Bobby practically adopted you,” Harry said. 

Buck’s face did something weird, like he was trying to keep the emotions in. It wasn’t some big secret. At least to Harry it wasn’t. Bobby had been Buck’s dad in so many ways and it didn’t matter that Buck was an adult when they met. Something had drawn them together, the man that lost his family and the man that ran away from his family. 

Buck’s phone rang. It was almost 2am. 

Harry watched as Buck answered the call. 

“Hi,” Buck said. “Are you— Oh, figured.”

Buck leaned back on the couch, looking more relaxed than he had all night. Harry felt weird watching so he went to the kitchen and decided maybe some tea might get him to catch at least a nap. His water came to a boil and in the background he heard the soft murmurs of Buck’s conversation. 

“Kinda,” Buck was saying. “Did have a crazy one earlier, I’ll tell you all about it soon.” 

Buck laughed and said something that Harry didn’t catch. Laughed again. 

“Be safe,” he said before he hung up. 

When he rejoined Buck, he looked less keyed up. He was back to paying attention to the documentary, but he had also pulled up something on his phone that looked like a map.

”What’s that?” Harry asked. 

“Wildfire map. It, uh, it updates as it’s contained. Or as it gains ground.”

Harry grew up in California. There were wildfires all the time. He knew there were apps to track things and he probably even had some on his phone, but it wasn’t something he ever paid attention to even since becoming a firefighter. 

“Do you think we’ll be sent out there?” 

Buck shook his head. “Unlikely. It’s rare that we work with CalFire.”

It didn’t answer why Buck had the app up. Maybe Buck just liked to keep himself informed, or maybe…maybe it had something to do with the call he’d just gotten. Was there someone out there working on that fire that Buck knew? Harry knew it had to be possible and the more he thought about it…Tommy was a pilot. He probably got called out to help CalFire all the time. Maybe Buck and Tommy had reconnected? 

Between the tea and the documentary, Harry fell asleep on the couch. When he woke up, he had a blanket covering him and Buck was still sitting at the other end of the couch, wide awake and with his phone on his lap, a different documentary on the tv.

“Hey, at least one of us got some sleep,” Buck said. 

It was still early enough that no one else had come up yet. They probably had an hour until anyone did and then at least their shift would be over. Harry felt a little sore from sleeping on the couch and he stood up to stretch. He was just leaning down to touch his toes when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. It was Chim. 

“What’s this, you two get any sleep last night or did you stay up watching some sort of documentary?” Chim asked. “Harry, do not let him bully you into it. You can say no.” 

“I think I got a few hours,” Harry said, groaning. 

“Are you still upset Maddie said your parents could meet us at your place?” Chim asked, directing it at Buck. “It’s not like they don’t know about the house.” 

Buck shook his head. “No. I’m more annoyed at the short notice.”

”Tell me about it,” Chim said. “Any idea why they pick now to show up?”

“None,” Buck said. “Maddie talks to them more than I do. I guess maybe they’re in the area. Want to see the grandkids.” 

Buck went to get the coffee started. Harry jumped in to help. If there was one thing he’d retained from his time as a barista, it was the art of making coffee. He did wish they had more to work with at the station in terms of a milk steamer, but at least a milk frother had been added when they went shopping a week back. He made a latte for Chim and went to deliver it to him. He found their Captain facetiming Maddie and the kids. His phone propped up in front of him. 

“You’ll just remind them we don’t have a guest room anymore,” Chim was saying. “If we hint enough even they will catch on.” 

Chim glanced up and lifted his hand so Harry slid the mug into it. He got a nod of thanks.

“Buck is moping around here about it,” Chim said, eyes flicking over to his tablet. 

Harry didn’t get to hear Maddie’s response as he walked back out of the office. He found Buck with his own coffee at the table, eyes focused on his phone as a text came in. He responded right away. 

Hen and Eddie walked up together, preparing their own coffee before joining them at the table. 

“You guys are up early,” Eddie said.

Buck shrugged. 

“Chim mentioned your parents are coming to visit,” Hen said. “I thought things had gotten better.” 

“I mean, they can’t get worse.” 

The hour went fast. Having restocked and cleaned after their last call the night before, everything was ready for B shift and so, when it was time they headed down to change. Buck looked like he was trying to take his time, lingering even after he was back in regular clothes and his duffle packed up. 

“Hey, if you want to come over and get away from them, I don’t think Chris has any plans this week,” Eddie said. 

“Yeah. Maybe.” 

Harry was distracted answering the probie group chat about maybe meeting up later in the day for an escape room. Harry was game for it and he was just tucking his phone into his pocket when Chim appeared, still in uniform and still holding his tablet. 

“Uh, shouldn’t you be getting changed? You’re supposed to be at my house in an hour,” Buck said. 

“Care to answer something about this, Buck?” 

He waved his tablet at Buck and Buck took it. A moment later he laughed. 

“I don’t know what any of that is about,” he said. 

“I don’t believe that,” Chim said. “Why else would this be in my inbox?” 

Buck shrugged his shoulders and passed the tablet back. Harry watched the whole exchange with interest. He could see that Eddie and Hen were too. 

“I don’t know, Chim, maybe ask the person that sent it to you?” 

“Fucking Deluca,” Chim said and he muttered some more. 

“Okay,” Hen said, “what was that?” 

“Nothing,” Buck said hurriedly. “And I have to go. As much as I don’t want them there, I don’t want to get home and find them already there.” 

“That did not sound like nothing,” Eddie said. 

“Well, then it’s none of your business,” Buck said. 

Buck walked briskly out of the locker room. 

“So,” Hen said, “what do you think Chim showed him?” 

“He didn’t put another transfer request in, did he?” Eddie asked. 

“Chim would have probably yelled at Buck about it and then denied it,” Ravi pointed out. 

Harry thought that Ravi was right about that. If Buck had actually put in a transfer request Chim probably would have blown up at Buck. Whatever it was it had to do with Buck and this Deluca person. All Harry knew about him was that he was a Captain at another house. Maybe he was attempting to poach Buck. 

Buck’s car was still parked outside when Harry got to his own car and Harry saw him on the phone. He gave Harry a wave before he finally pulled out and drove away.

Maddie wants to throw her wine glass in his face, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I spent five years in the army under DADT, then another five under Gerrard’s tender mercy. OG Gerrard, not the doddering grandpa you met. And you think you’re capable of hurting my feelings.” He takes a deliberate sip of wine, “Like I said. Adorable.”