Probably yelling at science

1. Buck is pacing with his phone and chewing on his thumbnail before he says fuck it and calls Tommy. "Hey," Tommy says, sounding like he's smiling. It makes Buck's stomach flutter. "Uh, hey," he says, flushing and smiling. "So--this might be a lot." "Sounds serious. Or intimidating," Tommy says, and Buck can tell he's definitely smiling now, but it's mischievous and twinkling like when he told Buck Eddie was on pain pills. Fuck, fuck he likes him so much. "I, uh, broke my last cock ring," he says, then winces. "Well, sort of. I tried using a rubber one for a while, and I didn't like it as much and it kind of got--it's not important. Uh, but I was thinking of buying another one. Do you...want one? I can get you whatever kind you prefer. Unless you have one." And then he presses his hand to his eyes and realizes this could've been a text. "So I don't actually know," Tommy says, sounding a little more like he's just choked on something. "I've never bought one for myself. My, uh, past...guys have had one sometimes. But I'd be willing to try." And Buck is surprised at that. Tommy's got a big dick and usually tops and seemed to enjoy edging both of them when they had sex the night before, so why wouldn't he have a cock ring? "Well, okay," he says, sitting at his laptop and adding two to the cart. "They'll be here in five to seven business days. We can, uh, see each other before then if you want." And Tommy lets out a soft laugh. "Uh, yeah, I definitely do," he says, and Buck bites his lip and curls his toes in his socks. "Mm, where do you stand on phone sex?" he asks. "I prefer to sit," Tommy teases. "Or lay down. Let me, uh, get inside. I'm on my porch feeding a stray cat."

2. After their dinner, Buck is riding Tommy and buries his fingers in his hair and whines, "Fuck, Daddy." And Tommy grabs his back and fucks into him hard, holding him tight. After, Buck looks up shibari harnesses and asks Tommy if he knows how to do it. "I can learn," Tommy says, kissing his shoulder. "I've never really done much beyond basic tying wrists or whatever." Buck knows by now that Tommy's last two serious boyfriends were pretty vanilla, that most hookups can't get into more than some basic rough stuff. He's not the first person to call Tommy 'Daddy,' but he's hoping he'll be the last. They get some rope, soft cotton that'll untie easily with the right pull, and Tommy idly practices knots while they watch movies.

3. The restraints are fun, but Buck wants more. Before he even asks, he knows Tommy's probably never used a spreader bar. Buck hasn't either, actually. He finds one that has loops for restraints, but it requires more flexibility than he has. Tommy, though, looks at it thoughtfully and attaches the ankle restraints. Then he rolls onto his back, pulls the bar up with his hands, and shifts a bit with his fingers looped where the other restraints would go. "Yeah, I could do this," he says, and Buck thinks he might pass out. "Yeah?" he breathes, and Tommy puts his feet down and sits up. "I can try," he says with a nervous little smile. "You don't have to," Buck says. "Believe it or not, I kind of like being pushed out of my comfort zone," Tommy says, removed the restraints from his ankles and collapsing the bar again before handing it to Buck. "And I'm glad you're comfortable enough to want to try other stuff, as long as we like it." Buck tosses the bar aside and pushes Tommy back onto the mattress to make out with him about it.

4. It's Tommy who's to blame. He's rubbing his fingers over Buck's hole and sucking on his neck and murmurs, "Fuck, baby, your pussy's trying to suck me in." And Buck shudders and drools on Tommy's shoulder and tries to flex and clench against Tommy's fingers until he's flipped onto his back and has his knees pushed to his shoulders. The next day, he orders lingerie for men, a thing even he had never thought too hard about before. When it arrives, he tries it on and flushes at how kind of ridiculous it looks, because he's been bulking. He almost buries it a the back of a drawer, but then he wears it under his clothes to dinner and surprises Tommy after when they're making out on Tommy's couch and he reaches under Buck's shirt and feels lace and boning. Maybe Buck should've talked to him about this first. Tommy yanks his shirt up and sees the sort of bra Buck had bought. There's no cups, it just tucks wires under his pecs. He sort of freezes, and Buck almost laughs it off until Tommy's breathing picks up and he sucks one of Buck's nipples into his mouth. He can't seem to ask a full question after that, and Buck unbuttons his jeans and shows lace there, too. Tommy pulls them down and off and kneels between his thighs, pressing his face to the silky fabric covering Buck's cock. There's an opening at the back, a keyhole circle that gives him easy access to Buck's hole. When Tommy fucks into him, he bites Buck's shoulder next to the bra strap and calls him a good girl. After, he looks dazed like he's coming out of a fugue state and asks if he bought more.

2. Sal started buzzing his hair a couple years before, both to make maintaining it easier and to hide some of the gray. He doesn't look distinguished with it like Tommy does. His chin is all gray, but he keeps his stubble regulation length. He used to grow it longer during time off when he was younger, because Tommy likes scratching his nails through the beard hair and even biting at it. Now his chin is mostly gray, the stubborn pad of fat underneath is never going away, but he's not as bulky as he used to be. The stress and more sedentary life of a captain took some of his muscle, so he worries he looks sick. Especially with the shaved head. Should he grow his hair out and just dye it? At least Pop went bald and had the choice taken from him, but Ma's side is all thick, dark Sicilian hair. Few people go gray as early as him, but he's the first firefighter in the family. How it's more stressful than living through a fucking World War is beyond him, but all those guys made it to their sixties before they started going gray.

3. There's a fundraiser he's gotta show face for, and he puts his dress uniform on and is trying to figure out if he should just shave his face or if it'll make his cheeks look too hollow. Tommy comes in wearing briefs and his shirt, and he's holding a wrist out pathetically for his cufflinks to be fastened. Sal smiles and turns to help. "You know, you should figure this out before you're fifty," he teases. "Why, you going somewhere?" Tommy asks. "Not willingly, but if you trade me in for a younger model, they won't be doing this for you," he says before grabbing Tommy's other wrist. "Why would I do something stupid like that?" Tommy asks, pressing close and kissing him. Sal puts the other cufflink in blind, and he drags a hand down to the back of Tommy's thigh to feel the spot where the elastic of the briefs is flush with his skin. They make out longer than they should, and they're late. Simpson glares but doesn't say anything.

4. Sal is about to tear something in his fucking chest at this rate, and Tommy frowns above him and grabs the bar, setting it back on the rack. "Yeah, no, we're taking this down," he says, and Sal groans, digging his palms into his eyes. "What's got you so worked up?" "Nothing," Sal mutters, sitting up and stretching his arms back. "Just wish I wasn't getting so fucking frail." And Tommy swaps the plates out and crosses his arms over his chest. "Yeah, that's absolutely the first word I think when I see you lift fifty pounds of equipment onto your body and then carry a human being out of a building," he says flatly. "What is up with you?" And Sal shakes his head, but Tommy straddles the bench, facing him. "No, seriously," he says, resting his hands on Sal's quads. "You keep making all these digs, and it's starting to piss me off." Sal chews on his tongue for a moment and looks at the gently lined face of the love of his life and shakes his head again. "I got old," he says. "And I hate it." Tommy's hands clench against his thighs, and he hooks a leg over Sal's so he can scoot closer. "I don't," Tommy says, bringing a hand up to rub Sal's side. "You're aging because you're still alive. And you're still a fucking dreamboat." Sal snorts softly, and Tommy grabs his chin and kisses him. It's not reassuring and gentle, it's spine tingling and dick hardening. "You're hotter than you've ever been," Tommy murmurs, hiking up Sal's shirt to get at his belly and side. "And I fucked up if you think otherwise."

5. Sal braces himself on the bar while Tommy sucks him off, and Sal shudders and swears and praises him. No one sucks cock like his Tommy. No one fucking loves it like he does, and Sal and watches him hump against the vinyl of their weight bench while he swallows Sal's dick. He kisses Sal with a mouthful of cum and humps his thigh, scratching his nails through the mostly gray chest hair Sal's sporting these days, and Sal says, "Cum for me, sweet thing." right up against his ear. Tommy chokes out his name a couple syllable noises and marks up his hip and thigh. When Sal's scratching through the gray on his stubble like he can rub it away when he's looking in the mirror a few days later, Tommy presses against his back and rubs against his towel until he gets on his knees and licks Sal's hole until he's slamming his hand against the bathroom counter. Tommy stands up and fingers him open before fucking into him, pulling Sal's forehead back while Tommy pants against his ear and watches them in the mirror. "Fucking look at you, fuck," Tommy groans, grabbing his chest and stomach and hip as he fucks into Sal. When he finishes inside him, he fingers him and jerks him off until Sal's legs shake through his orgasm. After, Tommy reaches around him to wash his hands and then slaps his ass before he turns on the shower. Sal's pretty sure he's half deaf after Tommy rides him later that week when Tommy catches him dragging his fingers over his face to try to stretch the wrinkles smooth.

After Eddie and Shannon leave, Evan asks Tommy if he has any money (he does) and says they should go to the gift shop. Tommy agrees and they stand up, but then Tommy pats his pockets and says he actually needs to get money from his parents and he'll meet Evan in there. When Tommy finds him inside, Evan says they should split up and buy something for each other. Tommy agrees and tells Evan not to peek. Evan flails and says vehemently that he wouldn't. Tommy gives him a look that says he doesn't believe him and then they split up to find something for each other.

Tommy hasn't yet found the thing yet but he does have a box of Reese's Pieces when Evan rounds the corner of the aisle with snow globes on the shelves. Evan's face lights up and he says "Reese's Pieces?" Tommy tries to look put out rather than fond or smug, but he thinks his face is probably just doing something unflattering. "I saw you pick them out at the stop in Rock Springs." Evan looks at him with far too much awe for something concerning candy. "And you remembered?" Tommy shrugs. Evan says, "they're my favorite." Tommy grins. "Like E.T.!" Evan's brow furrows and he laughs. "What?" Tommy sighs and shakes his head and says, "never mind" and shoos Evan out of the aisle so he can keep searching.

Tommy ends up buying two postcards; at the register, he fills out one with his new address and hands one to Evan to do the same and they exchange them so they can write to each other.

Evan buys keychains with their names. When they get outside, he hands one to Tommy and Tommy furrows his brow and says, "you gave me the one with your name," and Evan just smiles and says, "I know." Tommy blushes and closes his hand around the keychain; then he takes his Swiss Army knife out of his pocket and puts it on the keychain.

Tommy's parents come outside and say they're ready to leave and Tommy has to go. Tommy shoves his hands in his pockets so he doesn't do something something stupid like give Evan a hug.

Evan can't do what he really wants to do which is close the distance between him and Tommy and press their lips together, so presses a kiss to his own fingertip instead and touches Tommy's forehead. "I'll be right here." It's so dorky…the dorkiest thing he's ever done, but it's worth it when Tommy blushes and grins.

Tommy keeps his eyes on Evan as he slowly steps backwards. "Don't forget to write."

"I won't," Evan promises. He stands in the same spot on the sidewalk as he watches Tommy get in the moving truck and is driven away.

And now it's Evan's time to leave. He makes the excuse that he forgot something at the picnic table. It's silly, maybe, but he wants to see it one last time—the first place he had a sort-of-date with a boy. When he gets to the table, he sees something carved into the top of it, on the side where Tommy had sat—E + T, circled with a heart around it. He runs his finger over it until Maddie sticks her head out of the RV window and yells for him to get inside or they're leaving without him.

When Evan gets home to Pennsylvania, there's a postcard waiting for him.

2. The Buckleys and Diazes start vacationing during the summer at the same lake shore cottage resort when Evan and Eddie are 11 (Maddie is 14 and Eddie's sisters are 13 and 14) [located at some unnamed lake in some unnamed city in California]. The Buckleys are from Portland and the Diazes are still from Texas.

Tommy (who is the same age as Evan and Eddie) lives with his parents a few miles down the road and they're pretty secluded so Tommy has no neighbors and he doesn't really have friends from school so his summers are lonely until he starts spending time at the resort when he's 9. The owners of the resort, Thomas and Mitchell, take pity on Tommy and let him hang around, seeing that he's too shy at first to make friends his own age. Mitchell teaches him how to swim, when Tommy shyly admits that, despite living on a lake his whole life, he never learned how. Then Thomas teaches him how to fish and eventually how to clean and cook what he's caught. They let him hang out in their cottage and read or draw or watch TV when he needs to just hide out, but they try to encourage him to go play with the other kids too.

Age 11: The first time Tommy meets Evan and Eddie is when a bunch of kids decide to play badminton. On the way to the court, which is actually just a net set in a large patch of dead grass and gravel. Evan and Tommy are paired for doubles against Eddie and a girl named Kya. Evan's taller than Tommy and must have recently gone through a growth spurt if the way he doesn't seem to have total control of his limbs is anything to go by and he knocks into Tommy a few times. The one time Evan nearly takes them both down, Tommy steadies him and says, "careful there, Bambi." Evan blinks and stays quiet and Tommy worries he's offended him, but then Evan laughs and says, "good one, Tommy" and for the first time in Tommy's life he feels like he made a friend (one his age, anyway, which Mitchell and Thomas are always stressing is important for him).

Age 12: The resort has a campfire each Saturday night, everyone gathers around and socializes and cooks hot dogs and s'mores. Evan never learns that his stomach isn't actually a bottomless pit and consumes far too much sugar, but he always saves the last s'more for Tommy.

Age 13: While kicking a soccer ball around, Evan knocks a brick loose from the side of Thomas and Mitchell's cottage. Him and Tommy hastily try to put it back, but discover something in the space left behind. Tommy pulls out a rusty, green Lucky Strike tin. Inside are folded up pieces of paper; Tommy takes one out and unfolds it and it appears to be a letter. Evan tries to look at it over Tommy's shoulder, eagerly asking if they should read it. Tommy hesitates, says that maybe they shouldn't. Evan rambles about what it could contain—directions to some lost treasure buried under the lake ("probably not") or a secret formula ("…to what?" "I don't know, Tommy, that's why we have to read it!"), or the details of a torrid love affair (Tommy pretends to gag, "where did you even learn that word?"). Tommy folds the paper, puts it back in the tin, puts the tin back, and then the brick too. Evan is disappointed, but doesn't push, and they go back to kicking the ball around until Tommy has to go home.

Later that night, after dark, there's a quiet knock on Evan's window. He hadn't been sleeping, otherwise he might not have heard it. It's Tommy and Evan sneaks out to see him, brings a flashlight and blankets like Tommy says. Evan follows Tommy down to the dock. With the moonlight reflecting off the water, Evan sees that Tommy's eyes are red-rimmed, but Tommy turns his face away when he catches Evan looking so Evan doesn't acknowledge it. Tommy shows Evan that he brought the tin from earlier and takes out the letters, handing 2 of them to Evan. "Do you want to do the honors?"

They sit sideways on one of the benches, their backs pressed together, a blanket wrapped around each of their shoulders. Evan turns on his flashlight and reads: "Dear Thomas…"

When they walk back from the dock, Evan asks Tommy if he'll be okay getting home, if he needs somewhere to stay. Tommy sniffles and says he'll be okay. They part ways and Evan watches Tommy walk to Thomas and Mitchell's cottage, root around for what must be a key, and then let himself inside.

Evan sneaks back inside his room and falls asleep wrapped in the blanket that smells like Tommy.

Age 14: Tommy doesn't come to the resort. Evan worries and sulks and worries some more. After he's been there for a week with no sign of Tommy, he pays a visit to Thomas and Mitchell. They're frustratingly vague and won't tell Evan anything, sharing looks when they think he's not paying attention. But they don't tell him to get lost; they feed him sandwiches and lemonade and set aside a pile of books that are Tommy's favorites. Evan reads them all. He writes Tommy a letter and right before he leaves to go back home, he folds it up and puts it in the tin hidden behind the loose brick. Tommy had returned the letters to Mitchell and Thomas, so Evan's surprised to find a piece of paper inside. It's hardly a letter, but it's addressed to him; telling him not to worry and that Tommy would see him next summer. Evan scoffs, it's too late for not worrying. There's no closing, just Tommy's name and he suddenly feels self-conscious about signing off with Yours, Evan but it's too late to change it now. He pockets Tommy's letter and leaves his own for Tommy to find—whenever that might be.

Age 15: Tommy's back the next summer like he said and they don't talk about his absence, but they both silently and surreptitiously catalogue all the changes they notice in each other. Nothing has changed between them though and they hardly leave each other's side all summer. Evan teaches Tommy how to catch minnows with his bare hands. Tommy tries to teach Evan how to fish (it's too passive and boring for him), and he shows Evan how to gut and clean a fish to be cooked (and he doesn't make fun of Evan when he gags).

Age 16: Margaret and Phillip have to teach summer school for the first half of the summer and Maddie makes plans with her friends/roommates (2 fellow nursing students), so Evan's parents suggest that maybe it's time they find a new summer tradition. Evan begs them to go one last time, so he can say proper goodbyes to his friends he's spent the last 5 summers with, and besides…they've already booked and paid for the rental. [Evan just recently got his driver's license, but he doesn't have a car yet and his parents would never let him drive that far on his own]

Evan arrives at the cottages to find that Tommy and Eddie have apparently become best friends (they were always friendly before, they got along but Evan admittedly took up a lot of Tommy's time). Evan's moody and simultaneously wants to be included in everything they're doing and wants nothing to do with either of them at all.

Evan always had Maddie or Eddie or Tommy, or even Mitchell and Thomas, to socialize with, so he never really made an effort to make other friends, but now he guesses he'll have to.

He meets Kaci, who is tall and red-headed, and loud and happy-go-lucky and who Evan doesn't think has ever had trouble making friends, but somehow still agrees to spend time with him. She even makes them friendship bracelets. Evan shamelessly flaunts their new friendship in front of Tommy and Eddie, who seem equally confused and annoyed with his antics.

One night, when they're all gathered at the campfire, Kaci tells Evan that she gets the impression he's using her to make his friend jealous (friend—singular, Evan notes, with a strange emphasis on the word), but that he can kiss her anyway. He denies her claim and she gives him a look that says be serious so he does kiss her; to prove a point, maybe, but also because he wants to. When they pull apart, though, his eyes immediately find Tommy's across the crowd. Kaci doesn't need to look to see for herself, she just smiles smugly. Evan sighs. Kaci tells him it's okay. He says that he really does like her and Kaci says, yeah…but you love him. Evan frowns, doesn't know what to say as the word rattles around his brain. Kaci pats his shoulder and says she'll see him around. He looks around the crowd, but Tommy's nowhere to be found.

Tommy stays away the whole next week. Evan tracks down Eddie, who hasn't seen him either and he's pissed at Evan about it, even if neither of them knows if it has anything to do with him. Evan walks back to his cottage in a bad mood—Eddie's mad at him, Tommy's maybe probably mad at him or at least avoiding him for reasons he's afraid to entertain, Kaci's not mad at him but she has a girlfriend now and has no time for him. His parents are out, probably next door at the Millers. Evan raids the fridge—he takes a plate of fruit and cheese and crackers and a bottle of sparkling juice—then he goes down to the dock and gets into his parent's boat.

It isn't long before Evan spots Tommy walking out of Thomas and Mitchell's cottage. Tommy freezes when he sees him, but then keeps walking. Evan stands up and shouts Tommy's name, nearly tipping the boat over in the process. He falls on his ass, but manages to save the bottle of juice. When he sits up, Tommy's looking down at him.

"I'm okay!"

Tommy purses his lips. "You're an idiot."

'"Hey!" Evan scrambles into the seat. "Can we talk?"

Tommy shifts and looks down at the foiled covered plate in his hands.

"What's that?"

"Fish."

Evan frowns. Mitchell and Thomas hadn't invited him over for fish—were they mad at him too? "Hey, you know what goes good with fish?" He holds up the bottle.

"Are you drunk?"

"What? No." Evan rolls his eyes. "It's sparkling, duh."

Tommy stares, unmoved.

Evan sighs. "I just wish you would talk to me."

Tommy hands Evan the plate and asks for Evan to help him into the boat. Once they're both seated, Tommy asks what Evan wants to talk about.

Evan grins and asks Tommy if he trusts him. Tommy doesn't say no, he just narrows his eyes and asks why, so Evan hands him a life vest and tells him to put it on. He puts his own vest on and starts the motor.

"Evan…"

"Don't worry, I know how to drive it."

"Uh huh. And you have a license?"

Evan gives him an incredulous look, making Tommy smirk, and it finally feels like they're them again.

Evan drives them out far enough that it feels like they're the only ones on the lake, but still close enough they can see the cottages. They talk and eat and pass the bottle of sparkling juice back and forth and stare just a little too long at each other's lips. "Tommy, I—"

Tommy surges forward and Evan has to grab the side of the boat to steady himself when Tommy kisses him.

When they part, Evan ducks his head and laughs quietly. "Yeah—uh, me too."

They spend long stretches in comfortable silence, looking out at the water and listening as it laps at the hull, sharing flirty smiles and sticky kisses.

Until another boat approaches them. Thomas is driving, Mitchell next to him, and Eddie and some girl Evan's never seen before are in the back.

Mitchell peers in their boat, looks between Evan and Tommy, and raises his eyebrows and Evan just knows they're going to be the subject of gossip later. "You okay, kid?"

Evan blushes. "We're fine."

Thomas gives him a knowing smile. "Eddie here thought you got stranded."

Evan glares daggers at his friend. "Nope, not stranded."

Eddie frowns. "Then why are you just sitting in the middle of the lake?"

Evan opens and closes his mouth, and is ultimately saved from saying something embarrassing or having to lie when Mitchell suggests they all head back to shore.

They only have a few weeks left of summer, but they make the most of it (Eddie remains oblivious).

Thomas and Mitchell retire when Tommy is 30 and they leave the cottage resort to him (they want to move to Seattle as soon as possible and anticipating the money Tommy will have to put into it, they don't want to ask him anything for it. And they know it'll be in good hands).

Tommy still lives in his childhood house down the road, for now, until he can move in to the cottage that was Mitchell and Thomas's; he's estimating about a year before renovations are done and he can reopen the resort.

Tommy walks the whole of the resort, clipboard with checklists in hand, as he notes everything that needs renovated. He checks Thomas and Mitchell's his cottage last; his heart skips several beats as he notes the loose brick in the siding. He takes it out, the old rusting tin still behind it, and he opens it to find a notes from Evan. He doesn't know when Evan put it in there, but it had to have been the last year he came to the resort. It says: do you like me? Check yes or no. Tommy shakes his head and smiles, makes a checkmark on the note and puts it back.

He's at the kitchen table, looking over his lists, when he hears a car pull into the gravel lot behind the cottages—much earlier than expected. He hears the slamming of a car door and a few minutes later, a knock on his door. Tommy gets up and answers it.

Evan's tall, bulky frame fills the doorway. His cheeks are flushed and he's sporting a wicked grin as he holds up the note with Tommy's answer. "Yeah?"

Tommy doesn't know why he thought he could get away with Evan never finding it. He tries to fight it, but a grin overtakes his face in return. He rolls his eyes and opens the door further to let Evan in.

Evan strolls inside, dropping his bags on the floor, planting himself in a chair at the table, and kicking his feet up.

"Sure, make yourself at home."

Evan gives him a look that makes Tommy's stomach swoop and then he grabs the clipboard and starts looking it over.

Tommy clears his throat. "The 13 other cottages are still functional, for now, so you can take your pick."

Evan leans back in his chair and looks around. "What's wrong with this one?"

Tommy's brow furrows. "…it's mine."

Evan raises an eyebrow. Tilts his head. "I know."

Tommy swallows. "Evan, I didn't invite you here for…that."

Evan laughs and nods. "Riiight. You asked me to come here because I worked a few construction jobs nearly a decade ago."

"When I asked for recommendations, Mitchell gave me your number."

Evan leans closer. "You didn't have to use it."

Tommy bites his lip. "We haven't seen each other in 14 years."

"Yeah, but"—Evan shrugs—"we've talked almost every day for the last 6 months." When Tommy stays silent, Evan slowly nods. "Okay." He stands up, places the note on the table in front of Tommy—the checkmarked yes staring up at them.

Tommy's heart races as Evan starts to walk past him. He doesn't think; he reaches out and grabs Evan's arms and turns him back around and then they're a flurry of motion as Evan cups Tommy's face and Tommy grabs Evan's waist and their lips crash together. Evan climbs in Tommy's lap as they kiss, closing the distance of their years apart, and the chair creaks ominously.

Evan pulls away first, panting and quietly laughing, and presses his forehead to Tommy's. "Please tell me there's a bed."

Tommy hums. "Just washed the sheets this morning."

"I would fuck you on a bare mattress, I don't even care."

Tommy snorts.

Evan climbs out of Tommy's lap, tripping over himself in his eagerness.

Tommy steadies him and chuckles. "Easy there, Bambi."

Evan grins and pulls Tommy to his feet, turning him around and pressing him against the back of the couch. He kisses Tommy while he fumbles with Tommy's pants.

"Baby." Tommy revels in the shiver that wracks Evan's body. "The bedroom is 20 feet away."

"I know," Evan mumbles against his lips, "but you're right here."

They make it eventually.

3. Buck and Tommy go on their first date to Miceli's and Eddie and Marisol show up just like in canon, except—even though neither Buck or Tommy says they're on a date, Buck doesn't like and he especially doesn't say something heinous like they're going to go looking for hot chicks. Dinner ends naturally and they go to the movies and make out in the back row and then they take an Uber back to Buck's place and they don't leave his bed until the next afternoon.

4. It's after the firefighting games in Nashville and Buck and Eddie are at the bar. Buck's waiting for their second round of drinks when a handsome stranger sidles up next to him and introduces himself as Tommy. They talk about the firefighting games and Buck can't stop looking at him and wondering how he missed seeing him there—he's so bulky, Buck reasons, and hard to miss. Eddie stumbles over, clearly having already gotten several shots ahead of Buck, with two women on his arms and interrupts them, hanging onto Buck and telling him they're invited to a party. Buck eventually shrugs him off and tells him to go have fun and be safe and is relived to find Tommy still there when he turns around.

Tommy looks Buck up and down. "Can I buy you a drink?"

Buck blushes and swallows hard. "You can buy me anything you want."

5. 2031 Southern California Firefighter Expo. Who knew a hotel restaurant could be the perfect place for a first date?

Until, that is, Buck hears his name called out. He turns around and sees Eddie and his girlfriend, Jenny, approaching their table.

"Eddie," he grits out. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going to that place down the street?"

Eddie looks affronted. "We were going to, but then you had talked this place up so much we wanted to give it a try." He frowns. "Why are you being weird?"

"I'm not being weird, you're being weird."

Jenny eyes Buck and his date and tilts her head. "Who are Patrick and James?"

Buck had forgotten he was still wearing the name tag. He takes a breath. "Well. James is a retired engineer—"

Tommy kicks Buck's foot under the table and snorts.

Eddie's eyes widen in alarm. "You know what," he says, a little too loudly, "it's a little crowded in here actually, I think we will go to the place down the street."

Jenny stifles a laugh, waving goodbye to them.

Buck turns back around. "Now where were we...Patrick?"

Tommy points at Buck's name tag. "You're Patrick."

Buck drops his head down and laughs. "I keep forgetting." He smirks. "You wanna say fuck it and just go back to our room?"

"Already paid the check, baby."

"Fuck, I love you so much."

"Yeah, you gonna put a ring on it?"

2) Maddie has a big circle of friends in LA. There's Josh, yes her supervisor, but he's not like other supervisors he's a cool supervisor, who took pity on her when she first got to LA. She had been sheltered as hell, then broke away completely to travel the country, work odd jobs, even follow this cute girl named Kameron to Peru after befriending her in Seattle.

"So you just went to Peru." Maddie's talking to Karen, someone she's met at this big LAFD non-denominational winter holiday party. Karen is beautiful but there's a ring on her finger and a gorgeous woman in a circle of firefighters nearby who is keeping an eye on her, not that Maddie can blame her.

"Okay, I know what it sounds like, but Coyote Ugly came out when I was in high school and when I left home, one of my first jobs was as a bartender—"

Karen bursts out laughing and turns around, waving the woman over. "Hen! This is Maddie, she lived my dream of running away from home to be in Coyote Ugly."

"Hi Maddie. What the hell?"

"If I never hear that song again," Maddie sighs.

"Come meet everyone," Karen says, wrapping a hand around Maddie's elbow. "Hen's with the 118. They're going to want to meet one of the dispatchers who sends them on the wildest calls."

"Okay, it's not that exciting, I'm a girl who worked at a bar," Maddie says.

"You're a "straight" girl who followed a woman from Seattle to Peru to bartend with her," Karen says. "If you're not queer, you're insane. Maybe you're both! So you'll fit right in."

Everything's going so great. Karen was right and she does fit in, and everyone is a lot of fun, and maybe the bartending story was boring but she's got other ones from her time on the road to match them (no rebar through the skull, though—that's all Howie, whose eyes linger on her as much as hers do on him). Suddenly, though, eyes flick to something behind her, and someone touches her shoulder.

"Maddie?" Evan's here: in LA, at the LAFD holiday party, not in Pittsburgh, like last she'd heard. He's all grown up, with two black eyes and a split lip, and bruises peeking out from under his shirt. "Maddie, I need help."

3) Evan's in the hospital for a full day, getting scans to make sure he had no internal injuries after he "fell" down the stairs. After Mr. Williams—

("Gerry," Evan says, grimacing like even saying his name hurts him, while Maddie thinks: Fucking Gerry?? A guy named GERRY beat up my brother??? My baby brother who he MARRIED the minute he finished high school and turned 18??? GERRY?!)

—had taken out his holiday rage on Evan and left for work the next morning, Evan patched himself up and got himself to LA as quickly as possible. Maddie doesn't want to imagine what he looked like when he left, days ago, if he still looks like this now.

She's only just met the 118, but they come by the hospital to meet Maddie's not-so-little brother and check in on both of them. At one point, Howie brings by someone she hasn't met yet.

"I'm Tommy," the guy says as he leans down to shake their hands. "Howie mentioned you've got a car to get rid of? In as many untraceable parts as possible?"

"Didn't you say you were a pilot?" Maddie asks.

"Guy's gotta have hobbies."

She looks to Evan, who's staring at Tommy, curious and terrified. "Yeah, uh. It's my ex's—my ex-husband's car." Maddie's eyes look down: yep, there's that tan line, no ring. "I just—I don't want him to find me."

"I won't say no sweat because, well." Tommy motions to Evan's hospital bed. "But I'll take care of it. I know a guy."

Howie looks at her and Evan. "Everyone needs a catchphrase."

"That's not my only one," Tommy protests. "I've also got: Hey, I'm Tommy, I'm a firefighter-pilot. What's your name?"

"Little long for a catchphrase," Evan manages.

Tommy raises an eyebrow. "I'll think of a better one for next time."

Maddie hands over the keys and Tommy leaves. A beat, and then Maddie asks: "Next time?"

"Tommy…" Howie sighs. "Is a long story. Let's save it for next time."

Maddie's incredulity turns to interest. "Next time?" Howie winks at her and asks them how he and the 118 can help them out.

4) Not only is Evan hiding out from Gerry, now they're both hiding out from their parents. Or so she thinks.

"No, uh. Mom and Dad—we kinda stopped talking after I left for Pittsburgh," Evan tells her.

"Well that's ironic," Maddie says. "They wanted so badly to keep their kids close that they drove them both away. Now they've got nothing and no one."

Evan nods. Maddie holds out her glass of wine for Evan to toast. "Their fucking loss." Evan clinks his glass, but doesn't seem convinced. He does seem hopeful, though.

5) Maddie's friends adopt Evan. He's a lot younger than them, a lot more sheltered, too, having gone from their controlling family home to his controlling and abusive husband's home.

Howie and Maddie have started to see each other after way too long dancing around their chemistry and attraction.

"Well, you know, we're going to go out on dates and I don't want to like, abandon you—" Maddie covers her mouth when she hears herself. Evan stares at her, totally blank. "Evan—"

"You'll have fun," Evan says, "I know you will. You always do."

That leads to a massive, explosive fight that has them air out everything, all their trauma and grievances, gets Daniel out there on their own terms, has them sobbing in each other's arms, and has Evan deciding he has to move out.

"And I'm signing up for the fire academy," Evan says at breakfast one morning.

"Wow. You've gotta tell everyone how effective their propaganda has been."

Evan smiles a little. "Yeah. But also—this is weird, but—my body hasn't felt like mine for a long time, and I—I want to do something with it that's—something that I want to do, that's mine. 'Cause now you've told me… it wasn't really supposed to be mine to begin with, was it?"

Maddie gets it. They hug and Evan moves out and they're on better terms, trying to meet each other as friends, not siblings. The family they were given turned out pretty shitty; now they're finding the way to become the family they've chosen.

Also, Howie feels less weird staying over when there's no risk of running into Maddie's baby brother in the morning.

"Knock it off. He's not a baby anymore," Maddie says. She would know.

6) Evan is thriving at the fire academy, though the three(?) other Evans try to nickname him Buck and he puts his foot down, declares himself Alpha Evan, lol. He and Maddie still hang out regularly, but more often than not Howie's there, too.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Howie asks one night. "So, you know Tommy's at the academy right now."

Evan shifts in his seat, picks at his food suddenly. "Yeah."

"He says you're being… kind of distant. You guys know each other, so he figured—"

Evan says, all at once, "He's really hot and so nice and so helpful and I know he'd do anything for me, or anyone, but he's one of my instructors and I just got out of an abusive marriage to my 10th grade bio teacher so maybe Tommy's really nice but he can't be nice to me right now, okay?"

Maddie winces. Howie does, too.

"I get that," Howie says. "It's temporary, though, while he's on medical leave from Harbor."

Evan raises his eyes from his dinner plate. "Temporary?"

"Yeah. He's only got about two, three weeks to go before he's recertified to come back."

"…I guess I can say hi to him," Evan says slowly.

"You weren't even saying hi?"

"Maddie, I panicked! He's so hot! It's not fair!"

"It doesn't have to mean anything, it's just saying hi," Howie says, the picture of innocence.

When Tommy wraps up the unit he was teaching at the academy and goes back to Harbor—well. It starts with saying hi, and they go really, really, slow, but. It starts.

7) Instead of a Doug-style kidnapping and attempted murder, one totally ordinary day someone serves Evan with divorce papers. Social media reveals that Mr. Williams has been publicly out and about with another extremely young thing, so that's probably why he needs the divorce from Evan. He signs the papers and sends them off to be filed. Tommy's going to fly them somewhere to celebrate.

By the time that happens, Evan had finished at the academy and ended up at the 133. "It'd just be weird, you know," Evan tells Maddie. "Working somewhere with your boyfriend, or working at the same house, different shift, with my boyfriend. Maybe I want some space."

"That's a really good point. It's good to have firm boundaries and a solid commitment to work/life balance, especially for first responders who are particularly at risk of burning out without a commitment to living outside of the job," Maddie says loudly to anyone who might be listening, anyone at all.

At the ceremony for the end of his probationary year, Maddie's there and pins his badge for him.

buck ran away from home as a teenager tired of his life only to find his way onto a pirate ship. at first he didn't fully realize it; he met this connor guy in a bar, got swept up in the ideas of adventure and riches and the high seas, and decided to join him on ship. what connor didn't mention is that he was, at best, a deckhand. he was bragging to buck about being first mate, and securing buck a position on the ship, and well... that didn't happen. luckily for buck, the captain, bobby, does actually really like him. connor doesn't end up lasting more than a season on the ship—the athena, named after bobby's wife—but bobby takes buck under his wing and he swiftly rises in the ranks and when bobby eventually retires, he takes over as captain.

every sailor on the sea has heard of the crimson curse, captained by an evil man whose crew is known to show no mercy and take no prisoners. those who see their red sails on the horizon know to run the other way, and few who get close to the ship live to tell the tale. hen and chim, two of the athena's crew, had been part of a skirmish with them a few decades prior, before they were as dangerous as they are now, and even they don't like to speak about it.

one day, the athena is caught by a sudden storm. buck is out on deck, helping get everything stowed away, when he's pulled off the rigging by a rogue wave and thrown overboard. before he knows it, he's lost to the sea and the fog, clinging to a broken piece of crate. he doesn't know how long he floats, but eventually the storm clouds part, and after hours under the hot sun, he passes out. the last thing he sees before he loses consciousness is the bow of a ship topped with crimson sails.

he's surprised when he opens his eyes and he's not dead, for starters. even more surprised to find that not only is he not dead, he's not in irons in the brig, either; he's lying on a bed in surprisingly nicely decorated quarters. he doesn't have his guns, or his sword, of course, those were in his own cabin back on the ship, but the knife he keeps in his belt for odd jobs hasn't been taken. so to recap: he's alive, his hands are free, and he's been left alone with a weapon on an enemy ship that is supposed to be so dangerous that many experienced crews will run the other way. it's so at odds with anything he expected that he starts to doubt that he saw what he saw. before he can think about it too long, though, there's a knock at the door.

in steps a man. he's not wearing anything particularly special, nor does he look particularly bloodthirsty, but from the way he holds himself, buck guesses he's pretty important. he's just standing tall, arms folded loosely across his chest as he looks buck up and down. you're looking better, he says, when we pulled you up i thought for sure you wouldn't last the night. buck looks him up and down right back. i didn't think i'd last the night either, he replies, those who meet with captain gerrard so rarely do. to his surprise, the look on the man's face goes from neutral and polite to downright disgusted.

it turns out that a lot of captain gerrard's crew aged out or simply were killed, and those he brought on to replace them weren't so easy to control and took issue with his leadership style and the things they were asked to do. nearly a year prior, there was a mutiny; the captain summarily executed and dropped into the middle of the sea. the man, tommy, had been elected as captain, with his friend sal as his first mate, and they had tried hard to change things. they're still pirates, of course, but they aren't out to kill people for no reason the way gerrard was. they kept the sails, though, because the stories were a good defense and also, that many sails were expensive to replace.

tommy offers to keep buck on board while they try and figure out where the athena went. buck knows where they were planning to make port, but figures that they would likely not stay if they heard of the crimson's arrival. tommy has his crew make anchor in a secluded area and he and buck go ashore, travelling together in close quarters. they have to take shelter one night at an inn when it's raining and there's only one bed :)

4. Another nurse at the hospital had said Maddie could stay with her, but didn’t realize Evan was going to be there too. She only has a couch for him, and Evan starts looking for a place to stay. Sure, he could look for a place with Maddie, but after a year together they both need a little bit of space. He finds a flyer at a grocery store advertising a room in a house, and the house is kind of a mess but the guys are nice, and the rent is cheap. Evan moves in at the end of the week, and his first call to Maddie is bemoaning the fact that the guys have apparently just come back from Peru, and it sounds so cool, Evan wishes he had been there. He gets a job as a bartender at a badge and ladder, and the firefighters sound so cool, and it’s like a family, and the next thing Maddie knows, Evan has enrolled in the academy and is telling her all about the other people he’s meeting and all the drills they run and everything about the academy. Maddie’s never seen Evan so excited about school (this is considered school, right? Definitely) and as much as it worries her a little bit — she does work in an ER — she’s also happy for him. She meets some of the local firefighters through the ER drop offs and minor injury checks, and she’s just glad she hasn’t seen anything big and awful that would make her worry about Evan more.

5. When Evan gets his station assignment, Maddie realizes she’s seen a few of them at the hospital before doing patient drop offs. They all introduce themselves at Evan’s graduation, and she finally actually meets Howie and Hen and Bobby. Apparently their station just had a transfer out so Evan’s — Buck, now — graduation came at the perfect time. After Buck joins the 118, their drop offs become longer. They’ll stop to grab coffee, Howie checks in with her at the desk and let’s her know how things are going with Buck, gets her to check out little bumps and bruises, joking that he’s just keeping her in practice. Hen’s usually the one that has to tell him it’s time to go. Things are pretty good for about the first six months Buck works there, and then one day the 118 arrives at the ER and it’s Howie that’s the patient. He’s somehow still talking and she’s with him until he gets whisked into surgery. This is also the first and last time she hears about Tatiana.

6. She visits Howie while he’s recovering and he always makes sure to stop by the desk when he stops by for his various check ups. He’s basically a medical miracle, and Maddie can’t help but ask him her own questions every time he stops by, still not totally convinced that this is real and he’s okay. He never calls her out on it, just lets her casually check his vitals and do the memory and cognitive questions. Buck tells her he’s doing great at work. When she finds out he’s doing a blood drive, she switches shifts so she can be there and makes sure to spread the word in the ER. Howie greets her at the door and gives her a cookie and juice when she’s done. Apparently she had missed the Bobby drama before she got there, but Howie is happy to recount it before she’s given the all clear to leave. He even walks her back to her car and gives her a hug before she leaves.

7. She doesn’t notice until another nurse points it out, but Howie always waits for her if he needs to be checked over. It’s not often, but sometimes the team comes in after a long or tough call to get checked out, especially if they’ve been in the building for a lot. Buck only lets her check him out twice before shooing her away, requesting a nurse he’s not related to. Howie, meanwhile, will sit patiently and wait for her. One day he comes in for a drop off and asks her to check his finger, because he got a paper cut. She rolls her eyes but puts a band-aid on it for him. He examines it closely and compliments her technique. Hen has to practically drag him out of the ER.

8. Maddie finally finds a place near the hospital that’s not too expensive, not gross, and has nice light. She takes a few days off to clean the place top to bottom, because it’s hers now and she wants it to be amazing. She gets a new bed, a used dresser and her roommate’s old tv. She takes Buck couch shopping with her, and convinces him to bring himself and some of his teammates over to help move the couch in once they pick it. She’s not surprised to see Eddie, but she is pleasantly surprised that he asked Howie, too. Hen and Karen show up an hour later and bring her a nice potted plant as a housewarming gift. She moves the tv to the living room, where she’s also added a used coffee table and tv stand, and gets them all pizza and beer, and they watch a stupid tv movie together, yelling at the main characters as they make all the wrong choices and get killed off one by one.

9. She texts Howie a few days later and asks if he can come and check her fire alarm. (She might have swapped in a dead battery so he had something to actually fix). He also checks out her house alarm, her kitchen fire extinguisher, and when he finds out she doesn’t have a tool box, offers to take her shopping for a couple of basics. She has multiple screwdrivers now, a hammer, a mallet, a bucket — not for the tools, but for any jobs that require water or emptying a water line — a little black tool box and a variety of picture hooks, nails, and screws. When she mentions going to Ikea for some more furniture, he adds in some wood glue and offers his services to help build the furniture.

1. The front of the shop is more of a hangout space. They even have an espresso machine and a bunch of books. The back is the toys and the...implements. Buck had a bad experience with a cock ring and wants to get one that's actually good quality and not going to require him to have a ring cutter on hand just in case. Google had told him this was the place to go for more kink focused stuff, and he might want more than a ring. What he'd want, he's not sure of, but maybe he'll figure it out. The person working at the front asks if he's there for the class, and Buck says, "Uh...which one?" And they say, "The shibari class, you've still got five minutes until it starts." So Buck heads into the back and through the sex toys and everything until he's in a small room that's probably used for all kinds of stuff. But today, there's a handful of people and a guy with a mannequin and a bundle of rope. Buck almost leaves, but the guy sees him and grins and says, "Hey, come on in, there's a couple seats over here." It would be weird to leave, right?

2. The guy's name is Tommy, and he sounds experienced with this kind of stuff. It's not weird and sinister, it's actually kind of...nice. He explains the history of shibari and the martial art that inspired it. He goes over material types, passing around short lengths of rope for people to feel. It's then that Buck realizes almost everyone else there is with someone or a couple of someones. So when it comes time to test some stuff out, Buck ends up with the same mannequin Tommy had been using. It's shaped like a dude, but that's fine. He doesn't plan on ever doing any of this anyway. "Even if you plan on being the one who's restrained, it's good that you can show your partner or partners the safest way to do this," Tommy explains. "That's, uh, that's a good idea," Buck says. "You're pretty good with the knots already," Tommy says. "Uh, yeah, my job," Buck says as a vague explanation. He's not about to talk about work here. He's even going by Evan to everyone in the room. Plausible deniability if they ever run into each other on the street.

3. Buck leaves with a decent foundation of a new skill and is halfway home before he realizes he forgot to buy the cock ring. He gets busy, there's a big fire in the hills and he can't get a day off. He's watching helicopters swoop low into smoke and drop sand and water, he's fucking exhausted by the time he's cut loose. A couple days later, he goes to the shop and realizes it's the same evening as the intermediate class Tommy had mentioned. Tommy looks equally exhausted, but he's still patient and helpful and good at explaining everything. It's soothing, in a way, almost meditative as Buck loops and ties rope onto the mannequin. But there's a couple things that can't be done with the limitations of its only sort of articulated limbs, and Tommy offers to be the guinea pig. So Buck carefully ties Tommy's arms behind his back with his hands pressed together. "Can you move your fingers?" he asks, and Tommy wiggles them a little. "How's that feel?" "Mm, good," Tommy murmurs, almost hazy. Buck tugs on a few spots to check that it's not too tight, and he's kind of proud of himself for doing so well. When he pulls the line and Tommy comes loose, Tommy turns and gives him an open, easy smile. "Thank you," Buck says, flushing. "For, uh, trusting me to do that." "Of course, Evan," Tommy says, squeezing his shoulder.

4. There's an advanced class that involves suspension, partial or total. Buck hangs back for this one, watching people take turns with their actual partners or friends. He's not willing to try it on Tommy, he doesn't want to hurt him. But after the class is over, Tommy pulls the curtain shut and loops the rope into the ring in the ceiling again. "You don't have to get me off the ground," he says. "But if you're going to be doing this to someone or have it be done to you, I want it to be safe. You'd be surprised how many 911 calls happen because of unsafe bondage." Buck flushes. "I, uh, wouldn't," he admits. "And I've actually never been... into this. I just liked how you taught the class." And Tommy blinks and looks baffled for a moment. "I mean, m-maybe with the right person, I could be into it," Buck adds, because he'd liked seeing that pleased, hazy expression on Tommy's face last time. "But not usually." "That's...honestly surprising," Tommy says. "You fall into it easier than anyone I've ever seen, and you're kind of a natural with rigging." "Oh, uh, I'm a firefighter," Buck says. "So I kind of have to use it a lot." Tommy hums and smiles and keeps pulling the rope through the loop. "Same," he says. "That's not how I got started doing this, it was my ex. But I've been a firefighter a long time." And they talk about it as Buck ties one of Tommy's heels to the back of his thigh and he suspends his leg from the ceiling, pulling until Tommy's thighs are spread wide. Buck checks his balance and rubs a hand over his middle back and says, "You're doing great." And Tommy shudders and leans a little until his head is almost against Buck's shoulder, and Buck steps forward to give him somewhere to land. "You, too," Tommy mumbles. And Buck runs his fingers through Tommy's hair and feels him relax against him and realizes that he maybe kind of loves this.