For Sale: Fire Extinguisher, Never Used

Half of the comments on this are taking it to be about literal snakes and I just want all of you to know that I love you

Now that ALL of the comments are taking it literally, I take all of it back

@official-graveyard-posts

Official graveyard post

with love. you have to fact check shit. yes you. you still have to fact check shit. a lot of people are great at fact checking stuff they don’t want to be true, but somehow are still absolute ass at fact checking stuff that’s rhetorically convenient to them. even people my age, who I KNOW grew up doing internet/bibliography literacy workshops, and being warned not to believe anything that isn’t reliably sourced, people who DO harp on fact checking conservative output or whatever, are still kneejerk sharing unsourced shit that is partially or wholly untrue or misleading, because it suits whatever narrative they’re pursuing in that moment, without even a “take this with a grain of salt”. fact check!!!!!! look at the sources!!!!! yes it’s a drag!!! do it!!!!!

The amount of slavery in Ancient Rome was legitimately terrifying tbh

Y’all know that I’m into ancient Roman history and I do a lot of research on it but even though I should be used to it by now sometimes I read an anecdote about how an individual slave was treated and I’m hit with the realization that like a third of the population was living like that and I just need to put my head in my hands for a second

When you study ancient history you’re reminded that slavery has never once been kind or justified. It just takes on different forms of evil in every time and place that it infects.

I'm going to fix everything in the next three hours everyone wish me luck. if i dont then probably ill dig a hole and lie down in it for a bit in the rain/sun/whatever outside looks like these days

the hole isnt even that bad

someone said it's also a cautionary tale about mistreating your wife and I think that's spot on especially for other related types of stories e.g. the crane wife. like I think these stories are very much Husband Anxiety Stories. the Woman-Creatures are black boxes whose interior experience it is impossible to know and who have strange and often seemingly arbitrary rules that you must follow or else they will disappear. idk. like. that's why I think that any empowering-to-women-ness qualities of these stories is incidental. I think they're externalized anxiety about coercive societal heterosexuality and the inability to truly Know one's wife in such circumstances.

oooo yes absolutely!

was just talking to Story about this and he told me about one folktale where a guy meets a beautiful woman at a lake and she brings a bountiful dowry of like one million fat cows and such and she is of course a fairy so she's like "my one requirement in our bargain is that if you strike me three times I will leave" and in many versions of the story the husband doesn't ""actually"" strike her -- each time it's something like, one 'strike' involves her forgetting her gloves inside and he walks out and taps her on the shoulder with her gloves, but she tells him that counts as striking her. this sort of thing. which is TRANSPARENTLY like "whoa wouldn't it be fucked up if your wife could enforce consequences for behavior she said was harmful, even if according to your cultural norms it was fine, and you didn't see it as a big deal?" like... lol. what if women could actually be the ones who decided whether or not any given action their husbands took against them was harmful? IMAGINE... PREDEY SCARY....

Your friend’s unpublished fic idea is kind of a dead wife

i also want to read this guy’s dead wife

you also cannot convince me that after being traumatically outed online shane hollander or ilya rozanov would be jumping to overshare anything on instagram. like they can be proud of their relationship without making it everyone’s business. shane ‘everything i feared came true’ hollander and ilya ‘scared of expressing my feelings’ rozanov aren’t telling anyone shit. they make a series of professional #loveislove posts and thank everyone for their support then dip. shane is paranoid about cameras for the rest of his life. ilya has to be convinced to get a dashcam (‘just in case there’s an accident’ ‘i don’t care about that’ ‘what if anyas in the car’ ‘fine’). they grit their teeth through the fun meme tiktok videos harris films. they are as artfully visible as possible — because they aren’t hiding, they aren’t ashamed, just cautious — and remain vigilant about anything that gets posted online. nothing about their sex life. nothing about their home. no specific details about how long they’ve been together because they know that would only invite more speculation and derision after tripgate. snl does a bunch of shitty sketches about them fucking in a locker room and they just have to grin through it. they are so careful about each other. they appreciate their supporters. they love their team. they are happy and cautious. they have been laid bare to the world. there is truly nothing more devastating that can be done but they know that won’t stop others from trying.