partially-managed mental illness is so fucking funny i'll be sitting around doing my job and suddenly think "wow i hate myself" and immediately get confused because, like, that's not TRUE! i love myself so much. who are you to talk to me like that

[DAZED FROM BLOOD LOSS] hey not to kill the vibe completely but i think i am in love with you

yes im addicted to attention and orgasms and food and shiny jewlery and 7$ Iced Lattes. does that really not sound like an awesome lifestyle to you

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

daddy has regretfully informed kitten that we need a dual income household to survive

therapyspeak jigsaw: are you in the right headspace to play a game that could possibly hurt you?

i miss my beautiful wife joann fabrics it feels as if eons have passed since i last saw her. this guy michael keeps waving her visage in front of me and saying she’s living in his house but he is lying to me. i know this because i went into his house and found only fragments and memories of my beautiful wife joann and pictures of her shadowed face labeled “online only”. michael won’t even let me order swatches from him

imagine if you hired a painter to paint your house and you tell them you want it blue and then you come back to see theyre in the middle of painting your house pink so you go hey stop. thats not what i asked for. and theyre like i just dont want to ruin your lovely house this color suits it so much better trust me. and you go No, i asked for blue give me blue??? and the painter is like alright alright. and then they paint your house purple and when you go this still isnt blue they say i simply cant paint your house blue. this is the compromise. and then you still have to pay them for their work even though you are now going to have to either hire another painter or just figure out how to paint ur own house to get it how you actually wanted. thatd be crazy right. so anyway i prefer to cut my own hair at home

I miss the days when, no matter how slow your internet was, if you paused any video and let it buffer long enough, you could watch it uninterrupted

If you use Firefox, you can go to the about:config page, search for "media.mediasource.enabled" and double click on it to set it to false. After you restart Firefox, all youtube videos will load entirely even when paused! This also affects other streaming websites :)

We jailbreaking browsers now lmao

Hey adding on to this to say it still works! Just did it today and loaded 2 and a half hours of video

my lawyer told me "you're very honest in a way that I'd want you to talk in mediation but not in court" and I wasn't sure what that meant until 10 minutes later when I, completely unprompted, referred to myself as a "pathological responsibility hoarder" and immediately was like oh, okay, I get it now

people act like having breakfast for dinner is weird and special when in fact it's the most widespread and normalised meal identity transgression out there. talk to me when you're having dinner for breakfast, snack for dinner, lunch for brunch,