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@shittysawtraps
Rules:
No excessive gore. This is a saw blog and it kind of comes with the territory, but generally this blog is about humor.
No excessive NSFW.
Nothing bigoted.
Please submit traps as submissions with the tag ‘shitty saw traps’
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My great uncle is Neil Postman, who wrote Amusing Ourselves to Death, a book that critiqued the prevalence of television as a means for conveying information versus providing entertainment, and now I really want to resurrect him and get his opinion on Tenna.
Me: So there’s a character who’s the personification of a television, right? And his raison d’etre is to entertain the main characters of the video game— that’s kind of like an interactive television show— so much so that they stay with him in his world and away from their real-life problems, like how you described television as a version of “soma” from Huxley’s Brave New World. But he himself is just as affected by those real-life problems as the protagonist, and his flashy, attention-grabbing persona is really just a bid to be loved as he slowly becomes outdated, paralleling the main character’s isolation in the aftermath of their parents’ divorce. How does that affect your view that television is a means to advertise lifestyles rather than convey information?
Neil: Donald Trump is president?
Me: Oh, and he’s implied to have previously been in a romantic relationship with the personification of a spam email— gay marriage is legal now, by the way— which, while a newer technology than television, is also becoming obsolete, and is also centered around being attention grabbing and spreading misinformation. Does the inclusion of this relationship imply that genuine connection can be found through the spectacle of these media forms, or does the relationship’s failure condemn both television and internet as vapid reflections of true connection?
Neil: The media gave Donald Trump enough free publicity that he became president?
I had a dream that my fiance didn't have legs and we were fondly reminiscing about the time we were in a saw trap and he had cut them off to save me from being impaled and we barely escaped with our lives. I was like, "aww it was so sweet of you ♡" and he was blushing like, "oh stop, anyone would've done the same"
you briefly clipped into your saw trap au meetcute, and in doing so gained new appreciation for your lives. omnidimensional jigsaw is very pleased.
me when anything goes slightly wrong in my life: oh man i could write such a good horror movie based on this
you do not, under any circumstances, “have to hand it to jigsaw”
i’m gonna be real, i’m drunk and coming off a really rough family reunion and i did not mean to recreate a “does jigsaw have a point” reddit thread from the saw universe
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
you do not, under any circumstances, “have to hand it to jigsaw”
look you heard the creepy doll, he's either getting my hand or we're gettiing left in the torture chamber.
you do not, under any circumstances, “have to hand it to jigsaw”
on the other hand,
you do not, under any circumstances, “have to hand it to jigsaw”
what if we all saw trapped everyone forever
Okay capitalist
jigsaw has been behind capitalism this whole time???????
what if we all saw trapped everyone forever
benefits:
jobs in engineering and construction, so economy go up
nobody feels left out
wouldn’t be illegal if we all agree
nice distraction from interpersonal problems
bulk discount on rusty metal and warehouse space
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
what if we all saw trapped everyone forever
not saw related but i do have to hand it to whoever made the banana splits movie for saying, “most people don’t really care about this niche kids property anymore, let’s go wild and do a bloody horror movie with them and see if that’s anything.” we need to do that with more stuff. when will i get my horror adaptation of barney.
was midway through a text rant to my friends about how i could make the most 6/10 ass stereotypical mascot horror barney movie about a serial killer that is a traumatized former child actor on barney who hijacks the suit and takes the live audience hostage and makes the audience play evil versions of the barney games (i don’t actually remember any of them) to liberate the kids from their parents and teach the main character about standing up to her dad or something when i realized i’m just doing death game horror again. all roads lead back to saw i guess.
the name would be something like “barney loves you” and the tagline would be “no more purple dinosaur” and the trailer would have the i hate you you hate me let’s get together and kill barney song! i could literally do it with a sound stage seven actors and five gallons of fake blood! it would be so easy! fuck!!!
don’t get it twisted. this would not be a good movie. it would not be intended to be a good movie. it would be intended to be a movie you watch on tubi while you’re drunk.
oh COME ON
*angrily stomps over to whiteboard with title MILLION DOLLAR MOVIE IDEAS*
*crosses out MASCOT HORROR*
*writes RESORT HORROR*
*after a moment, writes DEAD MALL HORROR?*
I actually would love to write a horror movie set in a dead mall or an abandoned beach resort, just because I find spaces that were designed to sell you something and that were abandoned once people stopped buying very interesting. In some ways I feel like that’s at the heart of mascot horror, too– after the grinding wheels of capitalism have moved onto the next shiny thing, what happens to a place?
not saw related but i do have to hand it to whoever made the banana splits movie for saying, “most people don’t really care about this niche kids property anymore, let’s go wild and do a bloody horror movie with them and see if that’s anything.” we need to do that with more stuff. when will i get my horror adaptation of barney.
was midway through a text rant to my friends about how i could make the most 6/10 ass stereotypical mascot horror barney movie about a serial killer that is a traumatized former child actor on barney who hijacks the suit and takes the live audience hostage and makes the audience play evil versions of the barney games (i don’t actually remember any of them) to liberate the kids from their parents and teach the main character about standing up to her dad or something when i realized i’m just doing death game horror again. all roads lead back to saw i guess.
the name would be something like “barney loves you” and the tagline would be “no more purple dinosaur” and the trailer would have the i hate you you hate me let’s get together and kill barney song! i could literally do it with a sound stage seven actors and five gallons of fake blood! it would be so easy! fuck!!!
don’t get it twisted. this would not be a good movie. it would not be intended to be a good movie. it would be intended to be a movie you watch on tubi while you’re drunk.
oh COME ON
*angrily stomps over to whiteboard with title MILLION DOLLAR MOVIE IDEAS*
*crosses out MASCOT HORROR*
*writes RESORT HORROR*
*after a moment, writes DEAD MALL HORROR?*
not saw related but i do have to hand it to whoever made the banana splits movie for saying, “most people don’t really care about this niche kids property anymore, let’s go wild and do a bloody horror movie with them and see if that’s anything.” we need to do that with more stuff. when will i get my horror adaptation of barney.
was midway through a text rant to my friends about how i could make the most 6/10 ass stereotypical mascot horror barney movie about a serial killer that is a traumatized former child actor on barney who hijacks the suit and takes the live audience hostage and makes the audience play evil versions of the barney games (i don’t actually remember any of them) to liberate the kids from their parents and teach the main character about standing up to her dad or something when i realized i’m just doing death game horror again. all roads lead back to saw i guess.
the name would be something like “barney loves you” and the tagline would be “no more purple dinosaur” and the trailer would have the i hate you you hate me let’s get together and kill barney song! i could literally do it with a sound stage seven actors and five gallons of fake blood! it would be so easy! fuck!!!
don’t get it twisted. this would not be a good movie. it would not be intended to be a good movie. it would be intended to be a movie you watch on tubi while you’re drunk.
oh COME ON
hoffman and amanda arguing so loud over whether she ate his lunch out of the trap warehouse fridge that it sets off the noise-activated saw trap that john set up the last time they argued about this
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
my dad told me that your best piece of work is always going to be supremely embarrassing to you. so if you’re cringing and apologizing when someone is reading/viewing your piece, that’s a fantastic sign
via op ( @amandapostman )
my dad told me that your best piece of work is always going to be supremely embarrassing to you. so if you’re cringing and apologizing when someone is reading/viewing your piece, that’s a fantastic sign
