Nubb3t's void

"focaccia, serves 4" yes all 4 me

"tiramisu, serves 2" yes all 2 myself

Pizza, serves 8, yes I 8 it all.

@funnier-as-a-system wordplay aside we think this counts

riddle me this batman how is it that every woman i meet has a boyfriend but every man i know is single

riddle me this batman i dont know how to read airport terminal signs

batman i think he might be into me but im too scared to send a text can you send one for me. riddle

batman when im jumping on the trampoline and you jump with me i bounce up too high and when i land i get overextended and my perineum hurts so can you just wait your turn

batman i dont know how to calculate sales tax

the riddler

batman im not trying to be contrarian right now i just didnt think it was that good

batman you have a troubling inability to accept criticism

riddled me bullet holes

mummies? genus of the zombie family. the two are not taxonomically exclusive groups, educate yourself

Also skeletons by that logic.

A lot of people make this mistake actually! ‘Skeleton’ can refer to any individual member of the family Zombie that has shed its fleshy exoskeleton. It’s just an unlife cycle stage, but because of its distinct appearance we refer to it by a separate common name (similar to how a ‘black panther’ is just a colour variant of leopards and jaguars, not a separate species).

are there any domestic ghosts?

Ghostbusters remake but they’re biologists running a catch and release program

I love scientifically explained fantasy. It is so much fun exploring the fantasy world in terms of biological phenomena.

Oh what's that? You only read books with lots of "spice" in them? Well then I've got a great one for you, practically the whole plot revolves around "spice". Ahem. In the week before the departure to Arrakis,

HLVRAI LIVE IN PERSON! And its just a soldout theatre of people watching wayne in a VR headset talk to himself with no screen to show us what he’s seeing and no speakers so we dont know what he’s hearing.

I mean i quite like my brain, i’m really very fond of it i just think it’s a design failure that i can’t pop it out of the ole skull basket every night and plug it in to recharge. travesty really

This is brainwashing propaganda

my cherios spelled out my exact address this morning but like what the gudge ever i gobbled those honey nut freaks up and licked the bowl too

is there anything as good as lying in a sunbeam

telling the truth in a sunbeam #honesty

So crazy how you have the worst day of your life but then the next day the sun keeps shining and the air’s just a little cooler w the onset of fall and you realize that there’s nothing you can’t come back from because the only time it will ever be too late is when we’re dead and not ever before

I vividly remember talking to one of my favorite professors about how I’m scared things will fall apart after graduation and how I’m so unused to change and her just going “if things fall apart then they do and u just pick up the pieces and start over again and it’s fine. Things falling apart is not this mammoth fear u should be worried about” and I remember these words every time I want to pursue or seize something bc literally the worst thing that can happen is it doesn’t work out ….. and then I just pick up the pieces and start all over again

whats a stereotype for your country that you absolutely do. mine is that i unironically go "eh" and apologize a lot and i often drink maple syrup straight

i have a random issue with a handful of pre-srar fall out boy songs where I LOVE the the start of the song or just generally everything but the chorus, but the chorus itself i find kind of underwhelming (eg: ilalwtwiattgyo, ttotbo, igatrimeanomf, cfmrfrpfmsr, gblogbd(dyptstsasgts)

poor thing...walked straight into the electric fence

STOP REBLOGGING THIS my phone is glitching an astronomical amount and I immediately knew the culprit was one of my tumblr posts gaining traction

DONT STOP ME NOW!