journey before destination

we have a saying in croatia that goes "you're drinking my blood though a straw" (piješ mi krv na slamku) as a way of expressing annoyance and i'm very normal about it

don't know who needs to hear this but gender non-conformity is not only for trans people. cis women can wear binders and packers. cis men can wear breast forms and tuck. cis women can use he/him pronouns and cis men can use she/her pronouns. anyone can use they/them pronouns or neopronouns. anyone can dress fem or masc regardless of gender identity. anyone can take hormones and get surgeries even if it doesn't match the 'normal' presentation for their gender. all the rules about gender are fake and you can do what you want. gender isn't some finite resource. do whatever the fuck makes you comfortable.

a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

#MyFly

I hate the videoification of everything. If I have to hear one more video of someone speaking closely into their shitty mic and I have to have all their yucky wet mouth noises and plosives and nose whistles and throat clearings and sniffles I am going to dig a vertical hole the exact dimensions of my body and I’m going to slither in head first

Ken was created from Barbie’s rib

*sigh* fine, fine, i'll be the new doctor who showrunner. bring me two twinks, britain's tallest woman, and 1000 pounds worth of alumininamian foil

I'm perfectly fine with people criticizing my favorite stories and frequently do it myself but can you stop being so boring about it

"This scene made me so uncomfortable" given the subject matter, it would be really, really badly written if it wasn't.

I got hired to do a stand-up comedy set at the trope villain convention. It was a great gig. Really appreciative crowd. They were absolutely cackling the whole time. It was a little weird at the end though when all of them stood up and started clapping very slowly, before saying, in unison, "Well done, my friend. Well done."

One of them said he really liked how relatable my comedy was. Apparently it made him feel like we're not so different, he and I.

Its so hard to take bunnies seriously when they're mad. Like okay, yes you're upset but you're also wiggling your nose and stomping your little foot. That's not threatening in the slightest.

Little freaks

there desperately needs to be a separate option to report ads for hijacking your touch screen or automatically launching your browser/app store the moment you scroll past it. "malicious" is not a strong enough word. i need the "go fuck yourself and die in a pit of boiling acid x10000" option