IM GONNA THROW UP THE WAY SHANE TURNS HIS HEAD IN LOVE WHEN THEY NOSE BOOP UGH. UGHHH
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@norgbelulah
IM GONNA THROW UP THE WAY SHANE TURNS HIS HEAD IN LOVE WHEN THEY NOSE BOOP UGH. UGHHH

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the first time ilya takes shane to the club after they get married, he shaves beforehand, puts on a tight black tank top and sprays himself with his fuckboy cologne from the hookup era. shane is already horny for him even before they leave the house ā crucially, he loves fuckboy ilya, because come on, heās been fucking this man for years when he looked exactly like this.
at the club, ilya buys out the entire dj set to only play 2010s club anthems all night long. he wants to give shane the ultimate 2010s clubbing experience he never had, but also make up for all those nights ilya had to spend dancing and making out with strangers and not the one person he wanted. but now he gets to do all this with his husband! who is delightfully hard for him by the way, because shane finds sleazy club slut ilya absolutely irresistible. ilya is gripping his hips, grinding against him, licking his neck and whispering the dirtiest filth into his ear, and shane gets dizzying butterflies he imagines all those girls got back then. and he isnāt even retroactively jealous, because now his ring is on ilyaās finger, and oh god, he gets to be taken home by ilya rozanov! he gets to have all his attention now and get railed stupid by him later!! in their shared home!!! shane is living his dream life, and ilya is right there with him.
I know i have already discussed this ad nauseum, but I love that Shane never talks down to Ilya because of his weaker english skills. especially at the beginning when heās just moved from russia. he just talks like he would with anyone else.
similarly, i love that ilya never teases or laughs at shane when he misses obvious conversational cues (re: ilya asking shane four times in florida if he is still seeing rose). he obviously finds it endearing mostly but even when he starts to get frustrated and just asks outright he never makes shane feel lesser or aware of his misstep. heās endlessly patient with it
they are both just so earnest with each other, sort of unintentionally??? they really are like fated mates hehe <3
with how deeply physical their bond is, i don't think that hollanov ever bothered to develop a safeword. i do think, though, that they developed-- by accident!-- a physical system to tell each other how they are feeling. and it definitely bleeds into their life outside the bedroom, and it's definitely subconscious at this point, and it definitely makes it into the locker room and onto the ice by the time they're both in ottawa.
which means maybe the centaurs have picked up on the fact that hey, sometimes when shane wants ilya to stop doing something, he taps his arm twice. or if ilya wants shane to move one way, he taps him three times. or if he just wants his attention, its a squeeze. which is all relatively normal, and they probably think its cute that they have an unspoken language for communicating with one another.
and then maybe-- by accident!-- it starts taking root as a thing, and then mindlessly troy or wyatt or bood accidentally double pats shane's arm to get him to stop talking to ilya for a moment, and shane thinks for a moment, that was a weird coincidence, and moves on. but then it happens again, and then maybe luca squeezes his arm to get his attention and then bood taps him three times to get him to move aside so he can walk past and shane feels himself flush to the ears and catches ilya's eyes across the room and ilya definitely noticed that too. so now what? they can't full well ask them to stop without saying, hey, so this was a sex thing. but it'd be weird to let it continue... right?
I love the idea of Shaneās chirps just being observations.
It started when he was a kid and he was trying to help everyone get better at hockey including the opposing teams players, he would say something like āyour stick grip is weakā or āyouāre slow on your rightā (idk i donāt know hockey very well ESPECIALLY little kid hockey) but he says it totally deadpan because little Shanebug doesnāt understand tone yet.
This makes the other teams so mad! They try and fight him constantly! Little bitty baby hockey fights and then Yuna sits him down in middle school after the first fight that he actually gets hurt (black eye and bloody lip) and asks him what he is saying to make everyone fight him?
āNothing mean I swear mom!!! Iām trying to be nice and help correct their formā
And suddenly Yuna gets it and explains to Shane that not everyone but especially not the opposing team likes to have their flaws pointed out to them even if itās coming from a good place and how that could be seen as chirping.
So he stops for a while, then his coach for world juniors tells him to try and piss off Rozanov enough that they can draw a penalty. So Shane does what he does best and points out a flaw at each face off. Jokes on him though because Ilya is actively changing those things and getting better every face off because he is taking it for what it is, advice.
Which pisses Shane off, he thinks his chirping tactic wonāt work now that he is older. So he points out at his first scrimmage at practice in Montreal that the center who has been there for years (who he is probably replacing) is favoring his left side is staying too far left to compensate (again I donāt know hockey so I am trying to translate things I know about soccer lol)
And the center loses it on him! Immediately yelling about the lack of respect and how a rookie makes it to the MLH and thinks they are hot shit.
So Shane realizes his chirping DOES work just not on rozanov and becomes a menace he studies game tape specifically to find holes in his opponents game and pre prepares chirps and it fucking works because all these men are so far up their own asses that they just get mad instead of using the advice.
Idk I just needed Shane Chirping but in a very Shane way. Like he really just wants to play hockey but chirping is part of hockey so he studies chirping but doesnāt want to do any of the āclassicā chirps (your mom! Your wife! Your girlfriend! Youāre gay! Type of stuff) so he invents his own chirps out of his amazing mind

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i love the āhollanov has a crush on carter vaughnā take not necessarily in a āi think they would invite him to watchā way but more in a āilya would accidentally let it slip while chirping at shane to fluster him that vaughn is at the top of their āwouldā list and vaughn is a little thrown off and straight so heās like āare you guys asking?ā and ilya laughs and pats his shoulder and assures him āabsolutely not, i do not share my shane, we just think you are good looking man, i like that you are pretty and fun and my shane likes that you are serious about hockey and have good grooming habits. is not serious, do not worry vaughny we will not be asking you to witness me and my beautiful husband everā and vaughn low key is overjoyed about it, his teammates who are around and hear the exchange are sometimes like āthat doesnt bother you? you dont find that a bit weird?ā but vaugh genuinely is just like ārozanov just called me pretty and fun enough to hang out with and hollander thinks im good at hockey and clean enough for him, you could hand me a nobel peace prize and it wouldnt come close to this achievementā and eventually it gets out to the general public so vaughn is captioning his instagram posts shit like ā#1 contender for being the hockey husbands third goes fishingā despite shanes mortification about this getting out and vaughns clear delight with itā way
I just know, after raising Shane all these years, Yuna is very in tune with the likes and dislikes of her family and always likes to pick things up when sheās out.
A blanket on sale that she knows is a texture Shane will like, sesame mochi ā the only dessert Shane will eat ā Davidās favourite brand of chocolate covered almonds (Meiji, obviously).
And when Ilya joins their family it takes a while, but Yuna notices that he always reaches for the dried mangoes when thereās a bag open, and he eats the Miss Vickies sweet and spicy ketchup chips by the handful.
So it makes sense to her that she would pick these things up when she sees them at the store and make sure her pantry is stocked for all her boys.
Ilya only finds out when theyāre over at his parents on a movie night, and Shane, rummaging around the pantry for snacks groans āat this point, you have more of Ilyaās stuff than you do mine,ā
āMy stuff?ā He asks, completely befuddled.
āYeah, like the ketchup chips and the dried mangoes. Your snacks take up the whole pantry.ā
āMy snacks,ā Ilya says again flatly, still not understanding. āBut you all eat these.ā
āI mean sure,ā Shane agrees, ābut my mom buys them for you. Because you like them.ā
āThis is true?ā Ilya turns to Yuna with wide eyes.
And Yuna smiles softly at him, maybe a little sheepishly at being called out so blatantly, and shrugs.
āI mean, yes, honey. I thought you liked those snacks?ā
And Ilya gets all teary and reassures her that he loves these snacks. Heās obsessed with these snacks. They are his favourite snacks.
And he starts noticing how anytime he shows interest in something, it will start showing up regularly at the Hollander householdāsnacks, candy, that specific Japanese soda Ilya likes with the marble.
It becomes a running joke between them that Yuna pays more attention to what Ilya likes than what Shane does (not true but the joke makes them both pleased and sappy).
They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesnāt like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if thereās anything they need to do to help
After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says thereās nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, itās just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly
And Ilya is like. But. Iām the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?
Ilyaās life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced theyāre all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilyaās hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when heās causing problems on purpose
Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god Iām not Anyaās dad Iām her brother and she thinks weāre both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.
We did it!

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I saw a post about Shane and Ilya being sad that they can't thank each other in their acceptance speeches like other can with their spouses and it got me thinking:
Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.
Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league inĀ total pointsĀ at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"
Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."
They find a way to mention the other in their speeches every time all the time.
and every time, they sit in their seats like
Ilya is a yearner but Shane is NOT a yearner. Shane is a doer and a problem solver. At first he solves the problem of his feelings for Ilya by compartmentalizing and not feeling them. When this strategy stops working he hard pivots to going after his man. This man is not sitting around pining and suffering he is getting things done!
i looooooooove how annoying shane and ilya must be as the two best hockey players in the world just both of them being able to see the game at such an elite level and notice things no one else does and theyre basically speaking their own language to one another and saying things like "i dont even count a hat trick if its on an empty net if the goalie isnt there its NOT a real goal i think they should not count these" "absolutely if theres no challenge it isnt real" "exactlyyyyy" and they will say things like this in front of players who have Zero career hat tricks
hayden is struggling in the postseason and says its bc he is "playing with a broken rib" and privately shane is thinking "okay but just one though jesus christ" and ilya is texting him like "is pike playing on severed legs" "broken rib" "ok???? just one????" and shane is like wow thank god finally someone who gets it
Shane writes hockey romance* novels in his spare time and publishes them under a pseudonym (John Dutch) and no one knows except his agent.
A wag somewhere picks one up and discovers the hockey is really accurate and well written from a technical perspective (plus itās super hot) and convinces her boyfriend or husband or whatever to read it and then somehow it becomes popular among hockey players as a thing thatās kind of a gag but people are also seriously reading it.
Ilya is extremely confused that CLIFF is trying to convince him to read a book but figures heāll give it a try. Fifty pages in, reading the book on the plane, he suddenly realizes he recognizes the sex scene.
He never says anything to Shane, but starts casually leaving Shaneās books lying around for Shane to notice during their hook-ups.
*i was going to go with āgay hockey romance novelsā but then realized cishet hockey romance novels would be objectively funnier
#myshane couldnāt give less of a fuck about queer culture he just likes dick in his ass and he loves a Man. If you asked him about Stonewall heād think it was the name of a tech startup.
#myilya is a fag and he loves it. him and harris watch queer movies once a month with Harrisā mom and they drink margaritas with little umbrellas in them.
shane:

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I came across this icon today and-
hard launch this, soft launch that...has anyone written hollanov going full gaslighting with their coming out? just straight up going "we've been together for years? why are you acting like this is news?"
double points if they don't even plan to do it. they decide to soft launch via no longer actively hiding their relationship, just slowly acting more like a couple around other people. they're both at some event and ilya finds shane and just wraps his arm across his shoulders, which maybe that could just be ilya being ilya, but then shane just leans into it? like this is fine and normal? and when someone questions it shane panics and is just like "why wouldn't i? he's my boyfriend" and whoever they're talking to is like "what? since when?" and ilya is immediately onboard with this game "since 2017."
they just keep doubling down "you don't remember me sneaking out to go visit him every time we played in boston? you were all chirping me about it."
"wait, did you two drive here together?" "why would we take separate cars, we live together?" "you WHAT?"
when someone thinks they're joking they bring up the group chat with shane's parents, ilya scrolls back to a text where yuna calls him her favorite son. they bring up a video clip jackie sent of the twins saying "we love you uncle ilya!" shane brings up his thread with svetlana where she sends him russian words and phrases she thinks he should know.
they quickly enlist everyone who already knew, get them all onboard to pretend like their relationship wasn't ever top secret information. shane posts a picture of him with anya, when someone comments "that looks just like ilya rozanov's dog?" he just replies "yeah, we adopted her several months ago" and ilya replies "love our daughter ā¤ļø"
the more people act like this is revelatory news the more they inisist that it's not. "we started a charity together!" "i moved to canada for him!" meanwhile everyone else is slowly losing their minds.