OddJob

(via bsky)

In case anyone hasn't heard, the cyclospora outbreak affecting tons of people in the US right now is coming from Taylor Farms produce. Best to stay away from bagged lettuce and prepared salads completely right now, but especially the ones mentioned in the screenshot:

Taylor Farms Earthbound Farms Little Salad Bar (Aldi) Marketside (Walmart) Kroger House Brand Target private label greens Costco salads and greens etc Trader Joe's chopped salad kits and fresh produce Fast food: McDonalds, Taco Bell, (Yum! Brands), Chipotle, Subway, Pizza Hut, KFC, Olive Garden, Top Golf, Red Lobster, Burger King, etc.

This is not the first time I've heard about a Taylor Farms foodborne illness outbreak. I stopped eating their salads after reading a description of the conditions in their facilities. Doesn't sound like they've improved anything.

Unfortunately, at some point The Gloink Queen set her egg ball down, saw a corn kernal, and in her teenie tiny mustard seed brain she decided this was not a corn. This was the ultimate egg ball.

I have tried to help her, this poor creature who pranked herself. However, every attempt to try to remove the corn, or hold it and chase her away from it to try to get her to take her actual egg ball?

Results in her entering a fight to the death with me to protect her corn kernal baby. I don't know what to do. She has done the equivalent of taking her child to the clothing store, then sprinted out with a well dressed child mannequin, then gotten into a hostage situation WITH THE POLICE while they try to retrieve the mannequin and reunite mother and child while she screamed, "I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS! THIS IS MY BABY! LEAVE US ALONE YOU MONSTER!"

Unbeknownst to many, cartooning is one of the most dangerous jobs out there.

Forget wading in sewage, or repelling off a mountain, or welding a bridge pillar underwater: try spending one day with us down in the cold, dark, joke mines... Watch us wrestle with filthy punchlines. Wash our hands from the soot and grime we've collected by tireless hours of drawing.

Dry our tears when we've given up all hope of ever seeing the sky again!

But we're happy to do it. We'd do anything for a joke.

The Shape of the Southern Crab

Back when I worked at the hospital, I had to take MRI training and it was my favorite thing every time. It was only like 10 minutes long and went a little something like this:

Hey. The MRI is basically a really big magnet and by basically I mean it is and we literally never turn it off. It's like really big. Really really big and powerful and The Magnet is always on. We don't turn it off Ever, for any reason. We mean it bro, The Magnet is literally always on. It's crazy strong and will definitely kill you. So don't bring any metal into the MRI room, man. You will fuck up the machine (because The Magnet is always on) and then you will die (again, because The Magnet is always on). Here's some fun questions for you to test your understanding!

1) The ______ is always on.

2) The Magnet is ______ on.

3) How often is The Magnet on?

4) The Magnet is always __.

5) The Magnet is always on. T/F

6) The Magnet is usually on but we know to turn it off for you because you're a very special boy :) T/F

7) My weak fleshy body can survive the wrath of The Magnet. T/F

8) Look at this 500 lbs steel hospital bed, which The Magnet has crumpled into an origami crane. Imagine if that was you.

9) Is The Magnet ever off?

10) Sometimes we turn The Magnet off. T/F

Thank you for taking MRI training. We hope you learned that The Magnet is always on, because it is. It's on Right Now and it will be on every time you come to the MRI. Have fun and remember: The Magnet is always on!

These three versions of the same image taken by the Mast Camera (Mastcam) on NASA's Mars rover Curiosity illustrate different choices that scientists can make in presenting the colors recorded by the camera. The left image is the raw, unprocessed color, as it is received directly from Mars (and as available on the MSL Raw Images Web site: http://mars.jpl.nasa.gov/msl/multimedia/raw/). The center rendering was produced after calibration of the image to show an estimate of "natural" color, or approximately what the colors would look like if we were to view the scene ourselves on Mars. The right image shows the result of then applying a processing method called white-balancing, which shows an estimate of the colors of the terrain as if illuminated under Earth-like, rather than Martian, lighting.