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The Body-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody and Blood of Christ

Happy Easter Everyone

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fuckyeahbiguys

We’ve waited a year to reblog this. Happy Bread Anniversary!

Because it’s important to celebrate the little victories in life.

feenyxblue

No, no, no!

This is April 19 on the Julian Calendar.

The real bread day is on April 7th

two-thirtyy

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Look buddy, i’m just trying to make it to Friday.

taykoutmccleod

reblog if its friday and you made it

nuggsmum

huffylemon

thefaggifier

NEW LORDE NEW LORDE NEW LORDE NEW LORDE

non-binary-laurie-strode

Medieval peasants when the local ruler dies

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shez-a-dove-deactivated20161204

Local Dumbasss Knew What They Were Getting Themselves Into and Did It Anyways

write-on-world

big-blog-of-cheese-day

writing-prompt-s

You don’t have an Angel or a Devil on your shoulder. You have an Angry Viking and 50’s House Wife.

coolmomdean

likes: finding little objects

dislikes: throwing anything away, ever

teaboot

Every person in a position of political power should have their daily needs matched to the lowest class of their country.

teaboot

You make $6 an hour now, Mr. Congressman, and you’re not allowed to sit down or take breaks during your 7.5 hour daily shift. If you don’t like that, then you’re welcome to make some changes

betthearm

This.

norcross

i’ve never understood being able to enact laws that will never impact you

phinarei

It legitimately works. When politicians chose to live on the food stamp budget for their state they worked to increase the allotment after only a week of living that way.

And honestly? It should include having to spend time living on disability, navigating their district in a wheelchair, and taking public transit.

These people should have to live with their choices the same way they force us to live with them.

meshkol

allothersweretaken

there is something inherently shitty that people in positions of power have to physically do the same things as people who are less fortunate than them to be able to empathise with them and make a change.

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bookwormingparty

nagarnia

Wiggle wiggle

nodiggydig

It’s insane that I’m not some socialites daughter reaping the rewards of nepotism, cause I’d be really good at that I think

awellboiledicicle

Hell: are consorting with an Angel?

Crowley: yes? Are all you slackers not out there seducing any Angels? You got no game, is that it Hastur? You hating on me because you can’t get any Angel to feel an ounce of Temptation? Tell me, how’s it feel to be so unsexy you try and make one of my greatest demonic acts look traitorous?

fieldbears

Heaven: are you consorting with a Demon?

Aziraphale, combing his hair: I’m sorry, are you not filled with enough of Her love to open your heart to those who need it most? Now pass me that lip gloss

dontmeantobepoliticalbut

liberalsarecool

Addiction is not a crime.

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tastefullyoffensive

Portals to Hell by hrmphfft

marchqueen-deactivated20161002

IT’S BACK

lady-dirtbag

I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS AGAIN FOR MONTHS

I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW

2ndratewig

ITS BACK

trumpetnista

This is one of those posts that you need to save and tag or you’ll never see it again for 84 years.

midnight-spectrum-again

You got that right

cinnamonrollorder

I’m crying

nerdneeniya

New portal just opened

glumshoe

I got dracula aspirations but jonathan harker swooning syndrome and it’s really putting a cramp in my aesthetic

glumshoe

like what am I gonna do when I make my dramatic evil entrance after kidnapping the damsel and I’M the one who faints into my henchman’s arms

glumshoe

“ooo catch me renfield. bring me a glass of water and some salty snacks.”

glumshoe

“Really, Count?” said the damsel, who at that moment did not appear distressed so much as profoundly unimpressed. “A fainting couch? Do you take me for some kind of swooning, delicately vulnerable ingenue? I suppose you think—”

“It’s not for you,” I snapped, sinking onto the couch and tucking my cape around my feet. “Sometimes I stand up too quickly. That’s all:”

The chamber door opened, and a wretched little spider of a man skittered into the room. “Your electrolytes, m’lord,” he hissed evilly, placing a goblet and a little packet of veggie straws on the table beside me.

glumshoe

“Look,” said the damsel, “I’m a nurse. If you need blood so bad, I can do a transfusion. You don’t have to bite anyone and spread the curse. Return me to the hospital and I will hook you up with—”

“That won’t be necessarily,” I said quickly. “It’s a nice thought, but no thank you.”

She frowned. “Okay, well, have your henchmen bring me the equipment and we’ll do it here.”

I shook my head. “Nope. Not happening.”

Exasperated, she threw her hands up and sat heavily upon my throne. “Why the fuck not? I do this shit all the time. It’s clean, it’s quick, it’s safe, it’s legal—”

“I’m sure you’re very good at your job,” I said, ghastly pale skin turning even whiter. “But I’d rather stick to biting people, thank you very much.”

Her lip curled in disgust. “Of course,” she said bitterly. “You enjoy making your victims suffer.”

I recoiled deeper into the voluminous fabric of my cape. “It’s not that,” I said in a thin voice. “I mean, yes, it’s partially that—I am evil, after all—but.” I swallowed, shuddering. “I don’t do well with needles.”

glumshoe

I squeezed my eyes shut and grimaced. “Did you do it yet?” I asked.

“No,” said the damsel. “Please try to hold still, Count. I’m trying to find your vein, but you’re all shriveled up like a mummy. This may take a few tries.”

My henchman touched my wrist gently. “You can squeeze my hand if you want, m’lord.”

I nodded. “Thank you, Renfield. I’ll try not to shatter your bones with my vampire strength.”

“Very good, m’lord. Just keep your eyes closed and pretend you’re Batman. Batman could handle this, couldn’t he, m’lord?”

“Yeah,” I said breathlessly. “Yeah.”

“And so can you.”

“Just like Batman,” I whispered. “Just like—ahhh!”

“There we go,” said the damsel. “Good god your veins are hard to find. But just hang in there, Count. We’ll get them filled up in no time.”

glumshoe

I got my first vaccine today and they made me lie on the special rolling couch Just For Draculas while I giggled nervously and infodumped about jerboas.

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