Butterfly In The Wind

Don’t get scared, don’t get annoyed, follow the dog! If it had been an emergency situation, I could have vomited and choked, I could have hit my head, I could have had so many things happen to me. We’re going to update his training so if the first person doesn’t cooperate, he moves on, but seriously guys. If what’s-his-face could understand that lassie wanted him to go to the well, you can figure out that a dog in a vest proclaiming it a service dog wants you to follow him

From Lost In Translation by @quekerahkerah (which is so fun, go read it rn!!!)

and one was learning that the cultural cachet of veggietales is completely unironic and a lot of you watched the parables of God from the bible and his son jesus christ the cgi vegetable for real real and thought it was good, no goofing, not a bit

I take my wallet out of my pocket and unfold it. It is empty other than a single moth that lazily flies out. The moth lands on the tap point of the card reader. There's a beat, and my payment is processed. The moth flies back into my wallet and I put it back in my pocket.

[ID: Fake Barbie movie posters featuring Odin and Lyf from The Bifrost Incident. Odin is an elderly woman with glinting pink eyes and an unsettling, barely-repressed crazed smile, and she's captioned "This Barbie is the serpent that shall poison the sky and boil the sea." Lyf is a gray-skinned person with rainbow eyes and iridescent streaks in their hair. They're captioned "This Barbie is sick of your singing." End ID] (courtesy of @princess-of-purple-prose, thank you so much)

tfw you’re breaking out a science experiment with a broken snooze button and you keep sassing one another between the senseless violence

THAT FABRIC IS NOT CALLING TO YOU! LEAVE IT ALONE!

from a boss to their employee= what the fuck is happening there