Nerd Wearing Pearls

But the first rookies he gets to have with Ilya he gets to be entirely who he is without the burden of official captaincy. That’s Ilya’s job. He can just be the guy who has life experience and a decade on the ice. He’s less intimidating than Ilya bc he’s not the captain, even if he’s also intimidating. So they go to Shane when they want advice and hilariously a lot of the early advice is exactly Shane’s wheelhouse.

They’re new professionals in a new city (and likely country) who are living alone for the first time ever. “Hollander you’re from here right?” “Yeah” “do you know which neighbourhoods to avoid?” Cue Shane in the gym on the bike next to the rookies passing a tablet back and forth with Zillow listings pulled up.

(If they played in the Juniors system) they’re coming out of a system that broke a lot of kids, broke a lot of kids’ love for the game, but they don’t know how to do anything else. But it’s the same system that made Shane. So when one of the rookies is on the verge of a nervous breakdown bc they’re pushing themselves the same way they did in Juniors Shane gets it in a way Ilya doesn’t, and his adoration of the game of hockey becomes infectious when he makes them all take a break during an optional skate to just Play. Ofc it starts with him doing the silent “play?” “Play!” Behaviour with Ilya but he ropes the rookies in easily.

But Shane’s never actually played hockey very far from home. His Juniors team was in Kingston, which is just under 2 hours drive from Ottawa. As established Montreal isn’t far either. Ilya moved across the world. He’s the one stepping in to order the rookies food they missed from home to be delivered after a long road trip.

When they have girl trouble Ilya’s the one to talk them through it and remind them that not everyone finds the love of their life at 17 (while looking dopily at Shane, which ofc he gets chirped for).

But for now it’s too much. He finishes them both off quickly, giving Shane a few face pats to keep him awake. It’s not as hot as it was a few moments ago and Shane’s smile has gone from dopey to polite, and Ilya makes the rushed excuse of a shower so he can try to run away from the aching in his heart

When he gets back Shane is out cold, somewhat literally since he didn’t pull the covers up. Ilya gives himself a moment of grace under the guise of being a good hookup and careful cleans Shane with a warm washcloth, lingering a little longer than necessary, and tucking him in properly. Ilya feels his legs freeze under him as his task is now complete, and without thinking too much about it leans down to kiss Shane’s sleeping form, petting his hair as he shifts and sighs

Unless.

You consider that the Metros know that Shane absolutely does know how to fight. They've all done checking clinics with Shane. They've all wrestled and roughhoused with Shane. He's strong and he's fast and he wants to win.

The Metros understand that Shane doesn't fight, not because he can't, but because he's a little too good at it. And Shane generally doesn't even like violence. He likes to win by playing the game, not hurting the other team.

Shane and Hayden: *They get super concerned and get outside fast af because Ilya was showing off his Porsche to the kids, they immediately head out to see what happened*

Ilya: *Is stuck inside this thing*

Lately, I’ve come across quite a few posts claiming that RR is racist because of how she wrote Shane as an Asian character, arguing that he lacks development and only exists as a 'token' to prop up a white character. To be honest, I do feel there are aspects of his character that weren't handled very well, like the coming-out scene (and I absolutely loved your fic Win Conditions about that moment), but I don’t think Rachel is racist. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

Me from the future: this got way too long. Sorry.

So. I tend to agree with you, anon. It’s impossible to know Reid’s heart, obviously, but I do think people make very strong claims here that just aren’t supported by Reid’s own words and writing.

It’s pretty clear to me, from what I’ve read of Reid’s writing, that she is trying to write books that are diverse and tackle social issues. She has multiple non-white protagonists, she tackles sexual assault and the labor conditions of players. It’s obvious to me she WANTS to write books that are not racist. Her skill level and ability to accomplish this goal is debatable, but it's pretty easy to discern her intent. This, to me, is enough to say that it's highly, highly unlikely she herself is any kind of virulent racist.

So I think we’re in the realm of is Reid unconsciously racist. And yes, because everyone just by existing in the world is dealing with unconscious bias and racism. It’s the nature of living in the world. And Rachel Reid is (to my knowledge) a white Canadian woman with all the associated assumptions of experience that comes with that.

So…I think then the question is, how “bad” is all this?

I do think that Reid can be fairly accused of tokenization. She has a tendency of giving characters racial backgrounds and then it not really coming up again. I don’t know how old Reid is, but this is classic “grew up in the 80s or 90s” writing.

Personally, and this is just my opinion here, I don’t think any of it is very bad. At most it’s ignorant. But Reid is writing in a formulaic genre where characters are more like collections of tropes that readers enjoy and want to see porn with.

Where this intersects with tokenization is when people see the tropes as playing into racist stereotypes. Ilya being a tropey rake type is fine, Shane being a tropey uwu bottom is not, because of the more serious implications of writing a wasian man like that. Here’s where I disagree with a lot of commentators: I don’t think Shane’s anything close to an uwu bottom and I think his particular collection of tropes in the story is both interesting, as a characterization, and refreshing for a wasian protagonist. Shane is emotionally and physically strong, he’s ambitious, he’s kinda dense, he loooves hockey and he loves throwing his boyfriend around and he loves getting fucked. Truly when I say no one is doing it like him: as a long time fan of MM romance, no one is fucking doing it like him. I don’t think that Shane’s depiction plays into racial stereotypes at all.

So what we’re left with is whether Reid’s lack of writing in Shane’s racial experience is racist. For me, personally: nah. One reason is as a wasian person myself I think Shane’s experience reads as quite legible—his race is something that comes into his family dynamics and how he approaches his work but it’s not at the front of mind. Again, I don’t know Reid’s heart here or her intent, and I suspect she was not trying to represent the 3rd Gen immigrant experience with any sort of delicacy, but I think she stumbled into it.

Reasonable people have disagreed with me on this, which is fine, but I still don't think it's a massive failing on Reid's part because crucially: Reid is a pornographer. I say this neutrally, she’s good at it. But it means she’s NOT a literary fiction author and I think given this a lack luster description of her characters’ inner worlds is both expected and fine. It’s not a moral failing, and fanfiction authors have worked hard to fill those gaps.

I also personally give Reid a lot of credit for having a male wasian protagonist in a romance at all. I think Hudson Williams' elevation to cultural heartthrob has been amazing. People are talking about the Year of the Wasian. It's great. People taking Asian men more seriously as romantic and sexual leads can ONLY be a good thing, imo.

So anyway yeah those are my thoughts. There are criticisms that can be made of Reid, but overall I think her work has had a positive impact. I think she's clearly a person interested in trying to tackle social issues in her writing (even to the writing's detriment, in books 5 and 6, imo). I think Shane is a good and interesting character.

GOD

yuna and david were supposed to go to this game but thought they would have to cancel because they'd already agreed to going out to dinner with some friends who canceled last minute and then david had to work late, so yuna decided to drive up to montreal after all, and SHANE! WHO THOUGHT THIS PLAN WAS ALREADY CANCELED! THUS DIDN'T CHECK HIS PHONE WHEN HE AGREED TO LET ROZANOV COME OVER THE DAY BEFORE THE GAME, WHICH THEY DON'T ALWAYS DO.

which means yuna lets herself into shane's apartment (because why wouldn't she? shane's not texting back, which is strange, but maybe he's sick? it is flu season. and she has his key anyway.) ONLY TO FIND! SHANE AND ILYA ROZANOV SHIRTLESS ON SHANE'S COUCH AND ALMOST GIVING EACH OTHER BLACK EYES WITH THE SPEED WITH WHICH THEY SCRAMBLE OFF OF EACH OTHER.

and like??? really only ONE FUCKING THING they could have been doing!! very obvious what she just interrupted!!!

and oh...OH. all of this talk about how it's complicated and how shane can't openly be with his partner and yeah. yeah she gets it now. (yuna, oh my god). it ALL makes sense now. (yuna, please.) and yeah, kind of a mindfuck that her son's partner is the man?? who is supposed to be his greatest rival?? but she's already had a year of knowing shane was seeing SOMEONE. sooooo uh. hello, i'm yuna, we've met before but not under these circumstances, it's so nice to meet you finally for real, and-

and meanwhile ilya?? no fucking idea what's going on. kind of having a heart attack because jesus FUCK does he have a lot to lose if this gets out, but also?? she's shane's mom?? so she can't out him without outing shane and he's pretty sure she's not going to do that-

and then he registers that shane is Fully Freaking The Fuck Out. like straight up looks like he's about to pass out. and he doesn't know what's going on, but he knows shane looks like there is nothing happening in his head but aol dial-up noises and car wreck noises. and like. listen. ilya is also thrown for a loop, but he's not actually an asshole. he can tell shane is fucking TERRIFIED, so he's going to try and do what he can.

and what's the easiest answer to give when he doesn't know what's happening? agreeing with everything yuna is telling him.

yep. he is indeed shane's partner. he doesn't FULLY know that he understands exactly what that is, but he can figure that out when hollander doesn't actively look like he's going to pass tf out on him.

it's also at this point that yuna clocks back in enough (listen, sue her, okay, she has been DYING to know for a year now, so yeah she got excited and single mind tracked for a bit) to realize that her son and her son's partner are both still shirtless and she CLEARLY just interrupted Adult Alone Time, so she 180s and is like, "i'm going to go get some coffee, honey, you two can...*vague handwave* and oh! actually! your dad might miss the game, but he can still drive up tonight and we can have dinner here and-" and she is full Yuna Hollander Full Steam Ahead.

and then yuna is gone and it's shane and ilya.

and shane just. slooooowly curls up on his knees on the floor because What The Fucking Fuck Just Fucking Happened.

and ilya is also still a little ???? but puts a pin in that to talk hollander down from the ledge because man looks Bad.

and now they've got like. MAYBE 30 minutes to try and come up with a fake ass story for this dinner they're apparently going to have.

AND THEY STILL HAVE TO PLAY A FUCKING GAME BEFORE THEN.

and shane is just, "i know this is so weird. i am so sorry. trust me, i would willingly walk into traffic if i thought that would fix this. please just go along with it and i will explain whatever i can explain later-"

so they end up having dinner and managing to pull this act out of their ASSES. and they nearly fumble when shane starts to call him rozanov, but he can't do that with his partner, can he? that feels weird. so he calls him ilya, and ilya feels a little !!! zip inside him because oh!! that's!! new!! and oddly nice!! so calls him shane back.

so now they've broken the seal on first names. apparently. some fucking how.

and because yuna is yuna and DID HER FUCKING WAITING, she is inviting ilya to come to ottawa for the easter long weekend since they'll have time and it's not a couple's holiday anyway and he won't be going back to russia with such a short turnaround time-

and. listen. does shane feel great about this? no.

but it still feels better than having to look his mother in the face and say his partner is actually just a guy he fucks sometimes with no strings attached (jesus christ, shane.)

and ilya...is kind of just. going along. this is weird and also potentially complicated, but now gets to put his arm around shane? and call him shane? and he gets to pretend to play boyfriends because they have the understanding that This Is Fake? tbh? kind of ideal. the fun of playing boyfriend without having to admit ANYTHING to himself.

like shane isn't actually bold enough to really initiate anything, but ilya (at least from what he would say) has no horse in this race and tbh? kind of fun to play boyfriend. it's SO OBVIOUSLY FAKE OF COURSE, but like. sitting next to shane. and holding his hand. and kissing his cheek. and even putting his arm around him. and doing things like grabbing him a ginger ale if he's already up. it's all of the stupid daydream things he's *thought* about. and now. he gets to do them.

BUT IT'S ALL FAKE. IT'S JUST FOR THE SAKE OF LYING TO YUNA AND DAVID. THAT'S ALL.

and meanwhile shane?? is getting cuddles?? and gets to offer affection in return?? and ilya is attentive and responsive and even texts him often now?? because they need to have their story straight with each other and what's going on?? so they talk pretty often now?? and they've even cooked together a few times because shane panicked a little when trying to come up with Shit Couples Do when talking to his parents about what he and ilya do and just threw out "COOKING" because his parents cook together (meaning yuna gets to watch like it's her personal food network show and play taste tester), and then yuna and david who both know that shane has allergies and is a little particular about things with texture, etc. are just ?? ilya knows how to cook in a way you like??? and shane is just. Yes That Is Absolutely A True Fact About My Relationship With My Very Real Partner Ilya Rozanov.

Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s.  The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.  

As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.  

It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.  

Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.  

The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.

They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.   

Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.  

Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.  

Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.  (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)  

It worked!  

Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.  

However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.  (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)

she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)

His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)

the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)

"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")

- Oh that's Gaga. You know Lady Gaga? Of course, Ilya! She was in A star is born. Really good actress. She is more of a singer actually... Oh yeah that makes sense, I guess. You guess?! Please tell me you know Poker Face, lyubimyy. I know for a fact you have been to a club, you must have heard Poker Face before. I don't know, maybe. [Ilya starts singing Poker Face]. You're lucky you play better hockey than you sing, baby. Oi!!

- Oh I know how him! That's Armando! That's Pitbull. I'm pretty sure that's a human? Are you fucking with me Shanya. Of course baby. I know that he is a rapper but it feels so weird to call him Pitbull, when we met in Miami he said he was Armando. You met in Miami?? Yeah well, was a few years ago, he invited our team to this house- Pitbull invited the Montreal boring fucking Metros to his fucking house???

- Kesha! Do you know her songs? Absolutely none, no. How the fuck- Why am I even suprised you know her too. Oh we met at Roses birthday party in LA. She is so funny, I think you would like her! Maybe I should introduce you. What the fuck- You know what, I call her. Shane!

- Oh that's Kayleigh right? Kayleigh. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's her. That's Chappell Roan. Dykstra is playing her non-stop in the lockerroom. Oh, really? Pink Pony Club? Good Luck, Babe? Casual? Sounds familiar yes. [Ilya starts singing Casual] [Shane blushes] I think... I think I remember now yeah. Didn't know that was Kayleigh. How do you know all these people but have no clue what they do? Oh funny story, she is a good friend of Rose actually-

- Oh, that's Sam! Sam Smith. I've been to a concert. Met backstage. Really cool person. Shanya, you're surprising me? You go to concerts? Well uhm. When... when I was with Rose she got us tickets and - Yeah okey.

- Montero! Or Lil Nas X. Shall I guess: Another friend of Rose? Maybe, I should ask her. Actually we did this campaign together and- I hate you.

- Oh thats the actress from the movie. The movie with all the actresses. Oceans Eight. That's Rihanna. Yeah! Rihanna. I really liked her there, she should do more movies. Shane, she is actually a singer. Oh, that's cool. You're killing me. What? Should I know her? Shane. Lyubimyy. We literally had our first dance to her song.

her name is miko.

yuna's dad bought her for her mom after they moved to canada because she got lonely at home after they first arrived because they were so far from family, and it is an extremely husband move to be like, "sad? i know what will fix this. giant loud bird. PERFECT."

yuna's mom did indeed love miko, and yuna bonded with miko after her mom's death because it felt like she had someone to grieve with who missed her like she did (i the writer just teared up thinking about that oh my god). when yuna moved out, miko went with her because miko got along with yuna's dad but in the spirit of "we share a house, so i'll tolerate you" lmao. yuna knew that david was the one for her when she brought him back to her place for the first time and he immediately greeted miko like a person.

shane experiences sibling-like tension with miko lmao.

in a lot of ways, miko is like his older sister (sits with them at family meals, HAS come on vacation with them before, has to be greeted in the morning or his mom gets mad at him and also miko yells) except she is FUCKING LOUD. she tragically knows his name because yuna taught it to her after bringing shane home and introducing them (how could you condemn him like this, mom? she knows like twenty words and one of them HAD to be his name??? what the FUCK??), so the SECOND miko sees him or hears him or just thinks he's in the general vicinity, you are hearing "SHANE! SHANE! SHANE!" loud enough that the fucking NEIGHBORS know when there has been a Shane Spotting.

(also VERY salty from being told that miko's japanese is better than his. how is he losing to a BIRD.) (what do you MEAN her pronounciation is better.) (she has a BEAK.) (blue and gold macaws aren't even the clearest talkers when it comes to parrots, what do you MEAN miko is beating him?) (she only knows a few words and she's WINNING??) (just because she calls you yuna-chan doesn't mean she should get to WIN, mom.)

does miko understand hockey? doubtful. does she understand when yuna is mad and decide it's Time To Screm? YEP. not helped by yuna and david both egging her on with, "you tell 'em, miko!" (poor bb autistic shane with this LOUD ASS BIRD intruding on his sacred hockey time).

shane also denies it but he nurses a grudge to this fucking day about the time he was 15 and got miko out because she wouldn't stop Shane Screeching until he did but then stopped watching her for like. FIVE minutes getting ready to leave for a game.

ONLY TO COME OUT. TO THIS FUCKING BIRD. HAVING SYSTEMATICALLY UNWRAPPED ALL THE TAPE FROM AROUND HIS HOCKEY STICK.

SHE DID IT ON PURPOSE.

HE KNOWS IT.

SHE DID IT TO FUCK WITH HIM.

(not helping this is that miko has yuna's mom's laugh, which is nice because it means yuna still gets to hear it, but having to leave like RIGHT NOW only to have this bird fuck you over and then laugh in your face??? it is the closest shane has ever come to throwing hands with miko.)

he is just FURTHER pissed when miko takes a liking to ilya. he had to grow up with this annoying bird and now she's trying to STEAL HIS BOYFRIEND??? ridiculous.

they're birdsitting for david and yuna when they're on a cruise one summer, and miko rarely leaves ilya's shoulder the whole time. while ilya is shirtless!! he can SEE her claws digging in? but miko gets cuddles and to offer her opinions on what ilya is doing but shane can't snuggle against his shoulder on the couch because miko will start preening his hair, which is Annoying? ridiculous.

he wakes up one morning to find them showering together.