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@hardlyhinged
its soooo funny its so funny that shane is all drunk earnest sparkly eyed like ohh shit thats ilya ok play it cool say something casual say something normal say something normal and what comes out of his mouth is a suicide joke ep1 rooftop scene you will always be famous
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When did your English get so good? Why wasn’t I around to see it? Why did you stop answering? Who was teaching you? Is there somebody out there teaching you new words & phrases that I’ll never get to say to you? What did I do wrong? Why are you being an asshole? Can you please touch me?
no evidence to back this up but shane strikes me as the type of guy who holds a comical amount of stuff in one hand. very give me that ilya. big hands. he is The Holder.
there's a famous mid-action candid of them walking and shane’s unintentionally mean-mugging while in one hand holding his phone, ilya's phone, some sort of paper that's been folded up a million times - there's chapstick clutched between his pointer and middle fingers, a water bottle hanging by the ring from his pinky, hoodie in the crook of his elbow, hockey bag slung over his shoulder. meanwhile his other side is completely free. (eagled eyed viewers will understand that this is the hand he opens doors for ilya with)
i know we probably all know this but to be clear ilya is walking through the door shane is holding open for him carrying absolutely nothing and talking dramatically with his hands in an aggressively slavic manner while shane also carries his bags, his hopes, his dreams, and his entire life
nothingggg is more ilya than the tampa hotel room sequence where shane comes out, ilya acts like a dick while keeping himself physically as far from shane as possible, shane gets his feelings hurt and starts looking a little chin-wobbly, and ilya audibly GROANS and flings himself across the room to sit next to him on the bed. but he’s still not looking at shane or touching him because ilya is NOT here to comfort him or anything ok he just randomly and totally unrelatedly got tired of standing up at the exact moment that shane’s big brown eyes started getting all wet and shiny with tears and the nearest place to sit down happened to be on the bed next to shane. do NOT read anything into this as none of this means ANYTHING (in under two minutes he will be crying in shane’s arms btw)
goshhhh I love that hudson plays show!shane as way more emotionally vulnerable than book!shane. show!shane is always rolling over and showing ilya his soft underbelly (often without even realizing it) and ilya is always like AAA AAAAAAAA YOU CAN’T DO THAT YOU CAN’T LET PEOPLE SEE YOU FEEL and then shane’s big brown eyes start getting all shiny/wet with tears and his bottom lip wobbles a little and ilya is like well now I have to kms. or take care of you forever. AGH
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Ok but headcanon that Shane is one of those people who will just write “Love, Shane” at the bottom of a card UNTIL he feels comfortable being vulnerable with that person, at which point he writes the most heartbreakingly sweet and earnest notes
And no one is ever ready for the switch, and even after it happens they can never fully prepare themselves for what they’re going to get. Shane has learned that when he’s going to do that he should take them aside to give them the card rather than in front of people
Once Shane feels comfortable with Hayden as a genuinely good friend in his birthday card that year he writes out a whole thing about how he’s always wanted a best friend like other kids had but never had one and had accepted he never would, and then Hayden came into his life and gave him a level of love and friendship he never thought he would get and he loves everything about Hayden and can’t wait to be by his side as friends and brothers for the rest of their lives. Hayden fully breaks down and loses it, Jackie notices they’ve been gone a while and walks into the kitchen to see Hayden hugging Shane and sobbing into his shoulder. She raises her eyebrows at Shane and Shane just gives her the OK sign and goes back to rubbing Hayden’s back
Ilya learns about the card thing when it’s yunas birthday and he notices her opening Shane’s card like she’s deactivating a bomb. She stares silently as she reads it and Ilya starts freaking out a little when she starts to tear up and then pulls Shane in for a long silent hug. He looks at it later and sees that Shane wrote about how the last year made him realize over again how lucky he is to have someone as strong and supportive as her as a mother and he hopes to one day be half the parent to his own kids as she was to him
When it’s their first time having Ilya’s birthday together he’s legitimately nervous because this is his first Shane Card and he doesn’t know what to expect and part of him is afraid he’s built it up too much in his head and Shane won’t have as nice things to say as he did with other people. And then he opens the envelope and there’s no card but instead multiple pieces of paper because Shane couldn’t fit it all into a limited space. Ilya spends the better part of the next hour walking around the house reading it, taking breaks occasionally to cry or hyperventilate before going back to reading it because holy shit does Shane Hollander love him. Like he knew logically that Shane did but now he’s got pages and pages of Shane walking him through his feelings over the last decade of their life and every moment he remembered and cherished. Shane finally catches up to him and he’s on the floor of the kitchen, face a splotchy red mess, chugging Gatorade because he’s dehydrated from crying
David texts later to ask how his first Shane Card was and he just sends a wall of crying emojis and David is like “LOL yup, the first Father’s Day he did that for me I had to take the week off work or else I would remember it and cry in my office”
have we considered the possibility of Shane and Ilya being at a fundraising event put on by the Centaurs and there are retired players there. One was their star center when Shane was a kid and Shane gets SO flustered talking to him. Ilya’s just standing there, watching his husband blush over a tall, brash hockey player with curly hair and he’s like …you’re kidding me
the guy walks away and Shane tells Ilya that he had all the guy’s posters as a kid and he was soooo obsessed with him. Ilya’s like “uh huh. yeah. I’m sure”, simultaneously offended and so turned on by the confirmation that he’s the epitome of his husband’s type
btw the phrase "submissive and breedable" was only coined in 2021 and you just know it hit the Hollander-Rozanov household like a 20 megaton nuke
can i share my controversial opinion
i like when ilya is nice to shane
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ilya wakes up in the middle of the night arching hard, horny as hell and just wishing to do a quickie and fall back asleep with his husband in his arms. so he reaches for shane and finds nothing, just empty sheets. and he gets up all groggy and confused looking around for his husband who is nowhere to be found in their room, not even a light from the en suite. so he leaves the bed and starts wandering around their house looking for him. he sees the light on in the office and walks toward it and finds his husband sitting there in his chair wearing only his black boxers and his glasses and ilya’s brain just short circuits “he wants to kill me” ilya thinks and then shane looks up from his laptop to ilya “oh, my love, did i wake you up?” while reaching his hands out for ilya to pull him into his lap “you did, i can’t sleep without you, sweetheart” and shane just snorts “oh my poor husband can’t sleep without his body pillow” shane says while caressing ilya’s arms “the best body pillow. what you doing?” Ilya asks looking to shane’s laptop and to the amount of paper on the desk “oh i forgot to look at some contracts mom sent me and i couldn’t sleep till i sort this out” shane replies kissing ilya’s shoulder “it’s going to take long?” ilya asks pouting while hiding his face in the crock of shane’s neck “i don’t know actually” shane replies and ilya groans “shane i woke up cus i’m horny as hell and wanted to be inside you” he whines “you still can, we can cockwarm while i sort my moms paper and then you can fuck me however you want” shane replies and ilya stand up so quickly he almost fall and shane laughs with how eager his husband is just so he can be inside him. and they do the cockwarming, and they fuck in the office, and one more time in the bedroom and ilya sleeps like a baby completely worn out and tangled up in his husband
i really needed ilya to finger shane in that hospital bed which i knew he wasn't going to do but the heart wants what it wants.
and YES myilya jerked off to the thought of touching drugged up cute lovey dovey hospital bed shane after he left. like not immediately but it happened at some point
AU where Ilya's father dies before Irina can commit suicide, so she ends up not doing it and Ilya grows up with his mother instead of his father. He still goes into hockey and professional but less because he needs to escape Russia and more because he really really likes it and wants to have fun with it (and there's a kid in Canada who can keep up with him.....)
(also his brother never becomes an asshole and addicted bc he didn't need to deal with their father + depression + their mom's death and his feelings about it)
Anyway ofc Ilya still pursues Shane with all he has and ofc Shane kind of fold for him (in every ways ehehehheheh i'm hilarious)
But also I have this scene in mind where Yuna and Irina talk during the draft after party and Yuna is internally grinding her teeth bc this woman's son took her baby's spot and victory but she is still being Polite so she's making small talk and.
Yuna: And what about your husband? He must be proud of your son too, right?
Irina, unfazed: Oh, he died a few years ago.
Yuna, assuming Ilya's parents were about the same age: Oh, I'm sorry! Was it an accident, sickness?
Irina, very obviously still in her thirties-not-yet-forty: Oh, no. Old age :)
Yuna, Who Knows How To Do Math: Ah. I see.
Anyway they became friends and it becomes a meme in the hockey fandom that rivals Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander are forced to interact bc their moms are besties.
Post-outing and post- honeymoon pre-season Hollanov step out and are photographed for the first time in Ottawa featuring Shane— white t-shirt pre-season muscles bulging gray sweatpants dick outline healthy yes he's wearing his reeboks Mom and Ilya— decked out in TIGht Adidas track pants with the snaps black tank top clinging to that waist with Anya on a bedazzled leash— YES they're holding hands rings glinting in the golden hour YES they have their dog at this outside restaurant seating YES they're going to win this season YES Shane will have dessert and will give the first bite to his husband YES they're dropping a black card in the bill YES they're kissing each other's hands at the table and in a way it's kind of like Diana in her revenge dress except their best revenge is just living their best fucking life TOGETHER
College AU Russian studies major Shane Hollander forgets to tell the fuckbuddy he met through his speaking tutor Svetlana Vetrova that he is fluent in Russian and that he understands phrases like "you're so fucking perfect" and "you have ruined me" and "you look like a sexy librarian you perfect slut"
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Post outing, during Shane’s first season with Ottawa, he meets up with Rose. The Centaurs have a game in New York and Rose has a Colbert appearance. The press immediately speculates why Ilya didn’t come with them. After all, he and Shane are married now. The more trashy outlets speculate about Shane and Rose rekindling their romance while the more serious ones (lol) write about tension between Rose and Ilya and Ilya being jealous and A Close Friend bemoans how poor Shane is in the middle of his husband and his best friend not getting along.
Fast forward a couple of months, the Centaurs are playing LA. Shane is sitting out the road trip due to a minor injury. Ilya meets up with Rose at a small restaurant to avoid the press, but they get caught by paparazzi. And they get absolutely swarmed. Usually, Rose can handle a few paps going after her, but this time there are so many, they block the way from the restaurant’s door to where her car is parked. Rose was just caught leaving a party hand in hand with another actor a week ago and the paps are after her like crazy and because she and Ilya were meeting on the dl she didn’t bring security. Turns out, she didn’t need to. The paparazzi are in their faces, yelling at Rose about her possible relationship with her actor or whether she’s hooking up with her ex-boyfriend’s husband now, shoving them around and flashing their cameras. Unfortunately for the paparazzi, none of them have a lot of experience with professional hockey players. Hockey players who can fight and are good in a scrum. So Ilya drags up his I’m gonna drop my gloves and punch out your teeth persona and yells at them loud enough that at least two of the paps drop their cameras. Even these hardened vultures don’t know what to do in the face of Russian hockey player fury. Ilya doesn’t punch any of them, but he doesn’t have to. Just wraps an arm around Rose and clears a path for her with the other, his broad shoulders and the murderous expression on his face equally well suited to get them back to Rose’s car. The clip goes viral, especially because it catches Rose’s absolutely vindicated expression when Ilya basically glares the last photographer out of his way, and says, just audible for the camera, “next time we go out, we bring hockey sticks and just sweep them out of the way like ugly overgrown pucks.”
Later that night, Rose posts a clip of her and Ilya on the ice, shooting pucks with the caption 💪 practice.
actually have nothing funny or snarky to say about episode 5. this is just actually the most moving and heartwrenching television i've ever witnessed and it changed my life. it changed so many people's lives. sometimes i'm like the hr hype is lowkey a little too insane and then i watch this episode and i feel like the world writ large actually underreacted to how legendary this episode was. i too would actually soul bond with francois, hudson, and connor if i witnessed this live in the dead of winter.
like i'm sorry rr/tierney ate with this....... like the idea that someone else coming out being the impetous for you yourself taking a big leap of faith too is so like. what being gay and in a community is about. like you just literally don't know you aren't the only one if someone doesn't come out and do something so ridiculously brave. sorry i'm being so earnest about this because i'm writing this mid tears. like that thing jacob said about how scott's coming out needs to be outlandish and loud to contrast the like quiet and tender coming together of shane and ilya. the problem with this show is that it's literally that good.
