☆ lain

You seem to have a number of abdl friends. How did you pull that off?

Honestly I’m probably too trusting with people, but even just chatting with someone for a little bit can give me a better idea of who they are and with time, trust is built. My closest abdl friends are relationships that have been developing for years long before we ever met in person. That includes texts, phone calls, video calls, getting to know each other on a real level.

Of course it varies from person to person. You may feel that connection sooner with some more than others. There are people I’ve met rather quickly before knowing much about them and it’s worked out. There are also some experiences I kinda regret too.

Dune

Hunger Games

Game of Throne, House of Dragon

Black Mirror, You, Hannibal (2013 series)

Earlier 1980s/2000s comedies: white chicks, she’s the man, legally blonde, tootsie, mrs. doubtfire, ferris buellers day off, bridget jones diary, my big fat greek wedding, etc

Crazy stupid love, people we meet on vacation, to all the boys I’ve loved before

Like do you want someone who’s a switch or do you want someone only in one dynamic, do you like long walks on a beach or do you prefer to stay indoors?

I could list the usual things like trust, humor, and shared values, but what really matters to me is finding a man who is intentional, devoted, and emotionally mature. I also find that these qualities often extend into other areas of life, including work and personal goals. There is something very attractive about a man who moves through life with purpose and ambition.

In a few of your more recent post you have talked a bit about how much you get used to being in/using diapers and how diapers/little space became a large part of your sex life. You even said not to be as interested in vanilla dating anymore, if I understand correctly.

So have you ever had a "point of no return". A moment where you realised how much you had gotten into the ABDL mindset and how it was starting to affect your seksual desires? Were you ever unsure about if this was really what you wanted? If so, how did you cope with this? If you could go back in time, would you engage diffrently with this part of yourself?

ABDL can be very taboo, so I'm just curious how you became so comfortable with this side of yourself.

If you’re referring to my realization that I would prefer to date ABDL men instead of vanilla men, I would first say that there is no guarantee that I would never date a vanilla man again. It is simply that I prefer dating someone who is ABDL because I no longer want to feel like I have to explain that part of myself.

I came to this realization because I have dated quite a bit. I have experienced relationships with all kinds of different levels of acceptance and involvement, and I think I’ve simply learned what I enjoy and what I need. My last relationship in particular was so focused on vanilla that I suppressed a great deal of my ABDL desires and, honestly, my authentic self. I even tried to convince myself that I no longer needed ABDL, which I now know was not true.

Out of every relationship I have had, my last was the one where I felt the most suppressed. It was also the time when I felt the most uncertain about who I was and, at times, almost did not recognize myself, for reasons that extended beyond ABDL. Every relationship has taught me something about myself, about my relationship with ABDL, and about how to navigate vanilla relationships while staying true to my own needs.

I think becoming more comfortable with this part of myself stems from building connections within the community. I have ABDL friends that I visit and spend time with, and I have had intimate experiences with ABDL men that showed me it is possible to form a genuine connection. Because I have experienced that before, I know it is something I am capable of finding again.

If you’re looking to date within the community, I highly recommend making your blog more personable. Like post a few tasteful pics of you in diapers, reblog some stuff, just don’t give off empty vibes. If you’re not interested in posting on tumblr, then reaching out to women you’re interested in with a brief introduction of who you are, what you’re looking for, and even your personal Instagram or photos of yourself can truly go a long way.

Making connections involves a bit of vulnerability, esp from the man’s part in my opinion. Realistically, an abdl woman probably has a ridiculous amount of messages that she actively avoids, so if you want to stand out, you have to be willing to put yourself out there a bit. You also have to be persistent. If she ignores your first message, hit her back up in a few days or weeks. Your message could get lost, she might be tired and forget to respond, but it doesn’t hurt to follow up. If she ignores the 2nd, then you can probably take that as a hint she’s not interested.