what the fuck im reading

It can also be found on Google Drive here and on Bluesky here.

There’s no stated reason. They just pretend to not be alive. We usually can suspend our suspension of disbelief here because when it’s something like a video game or an emoji because any odd occurrences is perceived as a glitch or something similar but the actual reason why they aren’t too hung up on this kinda shitty lot in life isn’t said

They get something out of their current relationship with humans (like in toy story)

They have some specific reason to hide that they’re alive, like they die if they’re seen (like in the christmas toy)

They perceive themselves as sentient, talking creatures, but humans can’t understand them. They just see a squeaking mouse or an inanimate hot dog or whatever. 

and the last one is what most animal movies do, and it’s like, not devoid of weird implications but you can see where it mostly works.

but barnyard is the outlier here: it goes with tier one: the animals can talk and walk on two legs but just pretend that they can’t for unstated reasons. 

in the history of the barnyard world non human animals, at some point, decided to just pretend to be unable to speak. a “cow” or a “coyote” or a “hen” do not exist as we know it in the barnyard universe. the baa of the sheep is false; the ewe doesn’t understand it either. they only made up that noise to hide the fact that they speak human languages. a dog barking and running on all fours is a facade. animals naturally walk on their hind legs and made up whole postures just to appear non sentient.

and for what? what do they gain from this? they have no rights and no voice by their own choice. at one point a donkey claims the farmer is a good person because he’s vegan and a pig mentions bacon - this is not a fantasy universe devoid of death and misery and meat. do animals, in hushed whispers, remind their children not to sob in their real voice as they’re taken away? do the dogs not beg for kindness when they’re tied up and hit? do cows and chickens not cry for their life in the slaughterhouses? does a rat not scream a human scream when the trap misses their neck and only breaks their spine? Why? what is the point? They loose so much and have everything to gain.

anyways does everyone remember this really awful cat. it only appears in one scene but i can just sense the porn of it that would pop up if i googled it’s name

Closest match: Tinea pellionella genome assembly, chromosome: 4 Common name: Case-bearing clothes moth

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

you do not need to have fully colored ref sheets for all of your characters. i've done attacks based on just one or two images that are just portraits or doodles. i would recommend at least one colored drawing so people know what to do if they wish to color their attack, but you do NOT need to worry about having everything perfectly polished and comprehensive. as long as people know what your character looks like they can draw them. don't stress too much.

don't push yourself too hard. one year i did a shit ton of attacks in a few days and i literally had to go to the doctor and get eyedrops because i was straining my eyes too much and i was also sore from sitting on my computer for so long. don't be like me. take breaks. pace yourself. if possible try using some blue light glasses or something. drink plenty of water & stretch periodically. artfight is fun but it shouldn't cost your health

POINTS ARE NOT EVERYTHING. i've noticed the past couple years especially a lot of people focusing entirely on getting points And while this is technically a competition it's mainly about just having fun and making art for people!!!! draw someone's character because you want to draw them, not just as a way to earn more points in a mass attack or something. this also means Do not be afraid of friendly fire!!! it earns you less points but if the other person is fine with it and you really wanna draw their character then who cares!!! this is about fun!!!!!

PLEASE pay attention to colors in references. i shouldn't have to say this but i'm sick of seeing characters get whitewashed. this is basic shit

if possible try to reply when people draw your characters!!! like i said this is all about fun and encouraging each other and if you really like someone's attack let them know!!!!

YOU CAN UPDATE THINGS DURING THE SEASON. YOU CAN UPLOAD NEW CHARACTERS WHILE THE EVENT IS HAPPENING. Do not freak out over having to get everything done by june 30th. you have time.

ONCE AGAIN. THIS IS A COMPETITION BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO TAKE IT TOO SERIOUSLY. HAVE FUN. RELAX. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

if you wanna start drawing characters on the very first day, download a few refs because the website WILL crash and you WILL NOT be able to access any character refs. and you don't have to submit an attack immediately after it's finished if the website is slow either, just take your time and DON'T STRESS ABOUT IT

There are a ton of quick and cheap electrolyte drink recipes that you can find online. Tea, coffee, cocount water, milk, milk substitutes, juice, etc are all hydrating despite extremely persistent myths. Many fruits and veggies like cucumbers, watermelon, strawberries, bell peppers, etc have high water content and are a great way to hydrate while also getting vital nutrients. Popsicles are also a good way to stay cool and hydrated and you can buy them or make your own with whatever ingredients you want; there are recipes online, including ones for electrolyte popsicles, but you can also just do basic ones with your choice of fruit juice and whatever you want to add, like chunks of fresh or frozen fruit.