Welcome to this world

Since the holiday toy drive post is circulating again, I figured this would also be helpful! Food insecurity is such a massive problem in America, in general, and if you have the means to help feed others, I think you should take that opportunity. Here are some other tips:

1. If you’re planning on donating items from your own pantry, please check the expiration dates on the packaging. Think of your donations as gifts to bestow, not castoffs to be rid of. It’s awful to think of people feeling like they got scraps someone else just didn’t want. Everyone deserves dignity with their meals.

2. If you’d rather give money to a food bank, that’s also great since they buy food in bulk and know what items are most wanted/needed!

3. Not everyone has access to appliances like stoves or microwaves or hot plates so if you can donate items that don’t need to be heated up, that would also be greatly appreciated!

You don't have to be a jerk about it. The most effective yet civil way of dealing with harmful "humor" is just pretending you don't get the joke and asking them to explain. "I don't get it, what's girl math? What's a girl dinner? What do you mean by you're just a girl? Can you explain the joke to me?"

It really does feel like we've done a massive backsliding in gender stereotyping over the past few years and it's honestly alarming.

Not just the "girl x / boy x" like "girl math" to mean being stupid and bad at math, or these "lol girl dinner" posts where it's a can of energy drink and half a jar of olives.

You know human sexism is out of hand when we have to project "boys are silly lovable goofballs, but girls are cold and mean" onto animals who have no concept of and absolutely do not adhere to human gender roles and stereotypes.

The sad thing is that this has real world consequences for these animals. On average, male cats and kittens have shorter stays at shelters due to being adopted quicker than female cats and kittens. I have no concrete proof that this is due to stereotypes of boy cats as lovable goofballs but girl cats as cold and mean, but my own lived experience is that I know several people who have prioritized adopting male cats and kittens due to this (incorrect and sexist) assumption.

Of course cats all have different personalities, if you've ever had cats you know this. But it has no basis in gender roles or stereotypes. I've had boy cats who were aloof and unfriendly, and I've had girl cats who were sweet little cuddlebugs with everyone they met.

She stopped because I wasn't laughing. (Also he turned out to have a heart condition so it was good that I told her to get him to the hospital)

(Edit: sorry didn't finish my thought)

Like there's so many "jokes" that just aren't funny once you need to explain them. It really makes people think a bit harder. Like old coworker saying "my husband is an idiot, he keeps falling asleep on his tractor" or "my husband is an idiot he fell asleep in his chair and spilled his beer"

Although that's not to say that weaponized incompetence is the culprit every time. For example, in my family and among my in-laws there are plenty of men who genuinely want to do more of the cooking and/or baking for family gatherings, but their girlfriend or wife doesn't allow it because they want everything to be perfect, and think allowing a man in the kitchen will result in less than perfect food that doesn't wow the guests the way she wants. (Yes, even here in supposedly oh-so gender equal Iceland people get weird and sexist about things like this)

My uncle has weaponized incompetence. He used to break the lawnmower so he wouldn't have to mow the lawn. After the third time my Gramma made him fix it. He's still sexist as hell randomly but when he says something and I reply, no wonder you're divorced, he gets really quiet. (Especially if he says something to my husband like an hour later, looking for support, and my husband is like... Oh yeah it's not surprising you're divorced).

It can almost certainly tell different species apart based on the shape of those air bladders. And it can tell if a fish has something weird inside it, like a metal hook. In Hawaii, false killer whales often pluck tuna off fishing lines, and “they’ll know where the hook is inside that fish,” Aude Pacini, who studies these animals, tells me. “They can ‘see’ things that you and I would never consider unless we had an X-ray machine or an MRI scanner.”

This penetrating perception is so unusual that scientists have barely begun to consider its implications. The beaked whales, for example, are odontocetes that look dolphin-esque on the outside—but on the inside, their skulls bear a strange assortment of crests, ridges, and bumps, many of which are only found in males.

Pavel Gol’din has suggested that these structures might be the equivalent of deer antlers—showy ornaments that are used to attract mates. Such ornaments would normally protrude from the body in a visible and conspicuous way, but that’s unnecessary for animals that are living medical scanners.’

I'm not sure if I ever shared this story before here, but in Curacao, when I was allowed to assist in a guest interaction programme, there was suddenly consternation in the pool behind us. A guest had entered the water and the dolphins were going crazy, paying no heed to the trainers anymore. The lead trainer that was with me gave the dolphins to me to watch over while she went to help. When she came back she told me what had happened. The guest that had caused so much uproar had left the water again and was asked if he had done anything to upset the dolphins. He hadn't, and he couldn't imagine what was wrong... until he mentioned he had a pacemaker. The younger dolphins in the pool had never seen someone with a pacemaker before and apparently it rocked their world.