Aqua Utopiaď˝ćľˇăŽĺşă§č¨ćśăç´Ąă
almost home

çĽćĽ / Permanent Vacation
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#extradirty
Sade Olutola
occasionally subtle
todays bird

Janaina Medeiros

@theartofmadeline
dirt enthusiast
Stranger Things
Three Goblin Art
Claire Keane
Not today Justin
RMH
hello vonnie
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

titsay
Mike Driver
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@n0tat0ad

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this gif is like... almost biblical. as if hes experiencing a pharaohs curse...
wtf were you gonna say
Please respect my privacy
my deepest apologies
I forgive you
Anyway me when I suck that pharaoh good and hard through his scaramphigousus
WAIT guys im not done horny posting⌠one more thing⌠Shane and Ilya have bare sex, ok and Shane is all have you ever you know done that with anyone before? And Ilya is like hm no not really and Shane is like what do you mean not really. And Ilya is like well with girls sometimes when I was drunk and being stupid, but Iâd always pull out- Iâve only ever cum inside you Shane. And Shane is like. Oh. Because it kinda didnât matter if Ilya had- but he kinda loves that only heâs given Ilya that. And then heâs just like âI canât really picture you being able to pull outâ and Ilya is like all eye brows and âwhat? What kind of chirp is this Hollander? I am not so stupid to maybe get someone pregnantâ and Shane is just all shrug- âwell whenever we- everytime weâve fucked, even with a condom you donât want to come anywhere but inside me. And you push in so deep when you cum sometimes it knocks my breath out. So. I just canât see itâ he shrugs and Ilya is all.
âWhat the fuck shaneâ and heâs maybe a little hard, and Shane is like âI mean itâs really hot. I like it. I just think youâd suck at pulling outâ and heâs got a little smirk and Ilya is like woooow. Turns into bickering which turns into play fighting which turns into dry humping- which turns into Shane on his back with his legs slung over Ilyaâs hips, Ilya pushing into him bare and slick with lube.
Once heâs all the way inside, mouth panting against Shaneâs, Shane stroking his hand through his hair heâs like âmake sure you pull out okay?â And Ilya pulls back to catch Shaneâs eye and that little gleam he gets in it and oh game on. Ilya is like âof course baby, donât wanna get you pregnant, metros stand no chance without next season if youâre knocked upâ and Shaneâs mouth drops open and his cock throbs between them and he lets out a tiny choked sound and oh. Ilya will be investigating that more later.
But it Shane so itâs game on and he swallows and he says âmm only if you canât control yourself big boyâ and Ilya hates how much that turns him on- and then theyâre fucking and Shane is squirmy and loud under him, hands all over Ilyaâs chest and neck and face and down his back and gripping at his ass and Ilya loooves that he can fuck him like this now, on his back and glued close and not hiding anything between them anymore. Ilyas getting close and his brain is swimming because he wonât prove Shane right- he wonât but fuck it feels so fucking good and Shane is so tight and wet and perfect around him and his cock looks so pretty throbbing and jolting with Ilyaâs thrusts and he loves the way Shane shakes around him after heâs cum and Ilya keeps fucking him through it till he fills him and he wants that and he- he canât heâs going to be good.
And then shane is kissing him, pulling at his hair, scratching at his scalp and saying âm closeâ Ilya all low and soft and fuck Ilya loves him and only Ilya gets him like this and they both need this so badly- itâs the whole universe, how good this feels. And Ilya needs Shane to feel good, heâs nodding, kissing Shane back the best he can as he fucks him, harder, deeper, presses his legs apart further the leverage down and in the way Shane loves and Shane is whining, throwing his head back and mumbling âIlya Ilyaâ and Ilya might die, like this, he thinks one day because itâs too good. Itâs already heaven.
âLet go sweetheartâ Ilya is mumbling and shane is nodding and heâs slurring out âdonât cum, donât cum inside remember, you canâ get me preâ and Ilya is fucking him harder then, Shaneâs words stuttering until he cums, back bowed and all over his stomach and chest and heâs so fucking tight round Ilya and Ilya is so fucking close. So close. He needs to cum- but he needs to cum inside Shane.
Heâs never once had an issue with pulling out, happy to cover tits or face or ass in his cum instead, but Shane is all dazed and shivery and post orgasm gorgeous on his cock and his hands are grabbing soft and open at Ilyaâs back and neck, holding him close and Shane loves being full, Ilya knows this, Ilya loves filling him, he stays inside Shane after sex for as long as he can most times and itâs not right itâs not what he wants, to pull out of the warm secure home of Shaneâs body, where he belongs, where Shane takes him like itâs devotion. Ilya is shivering, his shoulder wracking as he fucks Shane and his pace is slowed and he tries to force his hips to stay on the out stroke. To pull back- but he canât, he canât stop driving in, helpless little fucks of his good because this feels to good, being Shaneâs, connected to him, fucking him open, fitting him on him he canât make himself stop.
Ilya frowns and looks up at Shane and Shane is head back, mouth parted, soft smile as he takes Ilyaâs thrusts, his hand on Ilyaâs cheek now, thumb rubbing and Shane mumbles after a big content sigh âfuck baby I love your cockâ and then Ilya is whining, low and driving into Shane, all the way, sinking his cock so deep it must hurt a bit for Shane, till he has no more space to go and he cums so hard his thigh and lower stomach cramp with it, Shaking as he ruts and pushes up up up into Shane, filling him.
When they both have words again, Shane giggles, fuck drunk and swats at Ilyaâs ass and Ilya is shaking his head and pinching at Shaneâs sides and calling him a cheat! A fucking cheat! He didnât play faiiir and Shane is laughing, open and happy and locks his legs behind Ilyaâs back when he does threaten to pull out and kisses his head and tell him itâs okay he wonât tell alone his pull out game is weak and Ilya pins his hands to the bed to tickle him until Shane is kicking at him and flushed all the way down his chest and Ilya gives in. He slumps onto Shane, biting back his smile. Fuck Shane is so fun and lovely and hot and everything he could have ever wanted. He puts his hand over Shaneâs stomach, spreading his cum out with his fingers, making a mess that Shane will start to bitch about in the next ten or so seconds but Ilya beats him to it, pulls back to look at Shane and ask âwhat will we call the baby?â And then Shane is pushing Ilya out of him, avoiding eye contact and flushing and stumbling on dazed legs to the shower. Ilya catches his smile in the bathroom mirror as Ilya chases after him.
SEIS fag sex? En esta economia?
in absolute tears about the pride module at my work
HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY
Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...
Tagging @batshit-auspol because as an Australian you're the only big account I know who might share (sorry).
happy first day of pride everyone

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i was watching a video about how regional cheeses are made around the world, and was shown a type of mozzarella called zizzona (the z/zz pronounced like the 'zz' in 'pizza', with a 'tz' sound), which, yes, means "mother's breast".
so rest easy tonight knowing they have titty cheese in italy.
they also make special GIANT 66lb zizzona
so rest easy tonight knowing they have hummina hummina aWOOGAH iyiyiyiyi GAZONGA cheese in italy
Weird choice of term, implies it's possible to not be attracted to Shrek.
i'm not really into blondes but this is an objectively absurd connection to make
In order to be properly non-pedophilic you have to want to fuck somebody old but not with gray or white hair because that's too close to blonde which as we've established is the hair color of children. So ideally somebody old as fuck but bald. And obviously wanting to have sex with a man is misogynistic so it has to be a woman. And it can't be a white woman because that would be racist and it can't be a woman of color because that would be fetishistic, so ideally a woman with some unnatural skin color, oh let's say, purple. But it can't be an alien, because we don't know anything about alien life cycles so it could be an alien child or an alien that looks like a child. So it has to be an animal from Earth, but obviously one of human level intelligence that can communicate is otherwise that would be bestiality. So an old purple female animal that can speak English. I think the only creature you can be hot for is the Ant Queen from A Bug's Life.
he fixed a bunch of potholes recently and all my gay neighbors won't stop posting shit like this
You forgot the other two.
âThis kink is problematic when you think about itâ ohhhhhh shit ok lemme head on over to the kink store and trade these kinks in for one that make my jackoff fantasies morally superior

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"The Kiss of the Sphinx" created by German sculptor Christian Behrens around 1880.
How did you give yourself an EAR INFECTION eating pussy
im just gonna screenshot from a text i sent my friends after the doctors visit
you canât fucking do this to me
Achievement Unlocked:
A Noble Sacrifice
Never has there been a more righteous and honorable way to get an ear infection.
I beg my kidnappers for a phone, swearing not to make any calls or texts, and they stare over my shoulder, holding a gun to my head as I use my newly-freed hand to post, "So do like, dudes just buy ropes and baklavas from the same store or what lmfao like a specialty Crime Store"
One of the kidnappers says "balaclavas" but it's muffled under the fabric. I ask them to repeat and they do, their voice raspy from disuse. "You wrote baklava, that's a pastry." The other kidnapper goes "stfu" and then after a pause goes "Why would you buy from a crime store"
Then they spit roast me
I didn't wanna say this but now that someone's left this kind of comment I have to be honest: Everyone else's tags are funny but this is the only person who understood my vision for this scenario
(Source: Sen the donkey)
The crazy thing is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, if you asked me on any given day "Would like to see a picture of some genitals?" my answer would be "đ° No, that's... No, thank you. I'm okay, actually." I have nothing but the utmost respect for people who do engage with the penis side of the internet, but personally, I've spent the better part of two decades doing all I can NOT to have pictures of dick and balls or sexy bikini babe buttcheeks blasted onto my retinas constantly. And yet... to be denied the penis? To have a jumped up pile of javascript tell me, a grown adult with an air fryer and an outstanding council tax bill, that I cannot be trusted to withstand the sight of a bare nipple unless I let it scan my drivers' license? I will move heaven and earth to see that fucking nipple, friend. I will walk a thousand miles barefoot on hot coals before I give you big brother bitches my passport number. A thousand miles through the desert with five VPNs just to press my face up against the glass and see the last uncensored picture of two My Little Pony Characters sixty-nining each other, and I don't even want! to look at it! But I will! I must! for the sake of our fucking democracy!

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Victorian Breasts (by Wooway1) (via)
genuinely i donât think itâs possible to easily explain the explicit part of online friendships to people who donât Understand. i donât mean like, explicit in the sense of âoh youâre sextingâ or whatever. no. i mean when you and your friend start gleefully making up explicit sexual scenarios for your shared blorbos and you get giddier and giddier as you add more detail and youâll be grinning at your screen as you type away at mach speeds. and itâs entirely nonsexual in an interpersonal sense, youâre not really getting Into it, but ohhhhh itâs soooooo fun and satisfying. and you can NEVER tell someone who doesnât also do this that your mood is actively improved like fivefold because you and your friend played Sexual Tuoys together because theyâll go âwhat the FUCK.â