moon tell me if i could send up my love to you

Why do so many women infantilize themselves as soon as they get with a man like that mess is none of my business but it’s horrifying to watch he’s just some guy and you’re here like that’s my dada with his big boy uwu credit card what the hell are you even doing like actually

shut up whore get back to your vanilla shit or whatever

Bro gonna call dada on me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

vibing with someone who got the same goofy energy as u is so damn therapeutic

Don't ask that tourist friendly pedestrian friendly modern country how they feel about refugees

Don't ask the expat friendly foreign investment friendly modern country how they feel about labour migrants.

i love the phrase 'i dont go here but...' like you're so in awe of my work you have decided to trespass into a fandom you dont belong to just to appreciate it. i love everyone who doesn't go here

pisses me tf off when i’m just scrolling and i accidentally click an answer on a poll and it’s not the answer i would have clicked. it makes me feel like im fucking with real scientific data and ruining the outcome for people who spent their life gathering this poll data. i’m so sorry i ruined your life’s work with my clicking.

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

[ID: a screenshot from a tiktok showing the legs of someone standing at the desk at a post office. overlaid is a caption reading "Everytime I've ever mailed a package the people in front of me take 10 minutes each and I take 1 or 2 why is that" /End ID]

If any competition needed to be on Tumblr, it's this one.

Hannah Montana is fucked up because its entire POINT as a show is that children should be protected from fame and exploitation, but it stars a REAL little girl that's being exploited. Nearly every episode carries the looming threat of Miley being outed as Hannah and losing her peaceful teenage life to the ravages of fame. Her father in the show (played by her own father in real life) wisely protected her from the trauma of fame by making her wear a disguise and live a rather quiet, interview-free life. Meanwhile the REAL Billy Ray Cyrus sold his daughter to Disney Channel when she was 11 and forced her to read dialogue about how terrible it would be to face the public eye. Like... Jesus, dude. The fictional Robby Ray is 10x the father, and it's not even close. (It's also IMMENSELY funny that her dad doesn't use his real name in the show, while she does. Almost like he wanted a bit of a disconnect between his identity and his character. Something Miley didn't get.)

What do you guys do for work. Job share time. I want to know

there are people out there who are naturally good at talking and making friends and standing normally and i think they should be systematically oppressed, even tortured

He was tortured and beaten by the ogre

He was beaten and punished by the ogre

He was punished and pummelled by the ogre

He was pummelled and tormented by the ogre

He was tormented and injured by the ogre

He was injured and hurt by the ogre

He was hurt and broken by the ogre

He was broken and damaged by the ogre

He was damaged and harmed by the ogre

He was loved and cuddled by the ogre as part of their BDSM aftercare

Didn't happen. He was harmed and attacked by the ogre

daddydom ASMR but 5 seconds in he gets attacked by a cackling witch

i’m sorry but what the actual fuck

a cackling witch

(person who has only seen the world through their own eyes voice) im getting a lot of "relates this back to my own experiences" vibes from anything and everything that's ever occurred or existed