moon tell me if i could send up my love to you

i bet it feels good as fuck to be a piece of sourdough bread that gets dipped in olive oil with various seasoning & herbs

Born without the gene that makes you want to listen to other people’s DnD campaigns

you ever see a girl

you ever out driving and you see a girl so pretty you wanna get into a non-fatal car on-purpose with her just so she's legally obligated to talk to you? i've got a $500 beater that i pay an unsettling insurance premium on specifically for this tactic. protip if you wanna get in on the game: don't ever hit a newer-looking Kia Soul. i tapped this chick's bumper the other day cuz her hair looked like it smelled good and the impact sent my shit flying rearwards into a Chase bank with preposterous force. yup, all Souls model year '23 and later are made of hyperbounce rubber

look at our leftist dawg we r never gonna have a revolution they get mad at u if u point out poverty is man made by the upper classes instead of being the result of buying a caffeinated drink at the gas station

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

everytime u go outside ur spending $60 automatically its crazy $60 is the new $20

I have an original signed copy of the communist manifesto and marx wrote a note at the front saying that he hopes people use this text to be racist on the internet and divide as many people as possible. He also said that RPF is okay.

He said that RPF is okay

Yeah we heard you the first time

just making sure.

People have been saying stuff for years at this point

image: social media post. "i ordered a bunch of sardines in bulk and my kids found them and have started saying to each other "i swear it on my father's sardines" and i dunno it just doesnt feel like im coming back from this one". end ID.

Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars

i hope im alive for as long as i live

im not dying until im fucking dead

You omit the Oxford comma and those last two items in the list start lookin kinda gay. Like why are you two standing so close together

hey its me your doctor. idgaf