i guess i AM a famished fella

"Kill them with kindness" Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK* 🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏

This opens up a lot of possibilities for what a haiku can be

If you're reading this you have been DRAFTED into the frog war. The frogs cannot agree on who gets to nap on the good lily pad that floats tranquilly in a sunbeam, so we're all going to get real big and mad and croak real loud at each other until someone wins.

Update: Frog War has been cancelled, as during the battle all the frogs fell asleep in a big pile on the same lily pad. Please be courteous to the napping frogs if you swim by as all that croaking and being mad has tired them out.

im like 99% sure this photoset drops in image quality every time it passes my dash

happy decade to the horrible beast i have wrought

[ID: A text exchange that goes "Hey, just wondering if you got your photos printed?" "bogos binted?" "What" "(alien emoji)" End ID]

i have big plans to try and sew a little felt mouse and it might go badly and that’s okay

Sounds like German to me, but this is hilariously bad planning.

It’s definitly not german, but god i need to know who planned this bathroom

it is 100% Russian, and i am wheezing in the same language now

apple blossomed trees / roots with the birds

the whole club was looking at worms

your dark fantasy novel doesn't need a logic-based magic system it needs a bear with a human face

the human-faced bear principle of storytelling: the amount of people who will remember the exposition about the rules of magic or the history of elf culture inherently pales in comparison to the amount of people who will remember the scene where someone gets mauled by a bear with a human face

this isn't a call to necessarily include a literal bear with a human face (though you should at least consider it. obviously.) but pointing out that, while a lot of sf/f writing advice places heavy emphasis on fleshing out the small details of a fictional world as much as possible (which can be fine and valuable for many stories), there's often little attention given to the value of including effective "bear attack scenes", for lack of a better term; tense, scary, shocking, weird, or otherwise visceral scenes or concepts (the pale man, the chestburster, the sunken place, the raptors in the kitchen, artax in the swamp, the annihilation bear, the parasite basement, the blood test in the thing, etc) despite those having a significantly higher hit rate of making a story striking and memorable and recommendable to people

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

not really sure how to get her out though

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her

Ryland Grace and his popularity as a character feels like such an important step in repairing the cultural tsunami left by the long running trope of every genius character needing to be an insufferable asshole to everyone in a ten mile radios about it.

Conversely, Eva Stratt is doing wonders for repairing and inspiring a appreciation for commanding women with dubious moral convictions who are fully willing to bend laws for the greater good without hesitation.

And together they are doing brilliant things by not kissing or hooking up even once.

If you're reading this you have been DRAFTED into the frog war. The frogs cannot agree on who gets to nap on the good lily pad that floats tranquilly in a sunbeam, so we're all going to get real big and mad and croak real loud at each other until someone wins.