queer pranks played by lightning

Each hair on my body represents 1 of my dreams

cleaned out the garage and found my old thinking cap from when i would think

i do think that there is a small part of ilya that during the terrible ottawa years thinks about how if he did die then he and shane would have this epic tragic romance solidified in amber for the ages like via the virtue of some random hockey player's country workout playlist he learns about gram parsons and emmylou harris and hears the emmylou quote about realizing she loved gram but wanting to wait to tell him in person and then he oded before she could and he has a sick fantasy of if he killed himself and right before shane realized that he wanted to go public and say screw the mhl and actually be together but he wanted to wait to tell ilya in person but never got the chance and so shane just had to hold that knowledge that he could've had ilya with him if he just changed his mind earlier or called him to tell him and one day shane would tell the world this and people would go how tragic! how terrible! rozanov could still be here if they could have actually been together! but ilya knows this is terrible and horrible despite the warm satisfaction he gets from thinking about it and he mentions it to galina one time right before the end of a session with his hand on the doorknob and she make him schedule another hour the next day

ilya telling shane about irina and how they were best friends and he hung out with her all the time and he was her protector and he would skip school on her bad days to brush her hair and make sure she ate something even if it was just tea and she was an angel and you know shane is calculating how best to gently bring up to his husband that that doesn’t sound like it was very fair to child ilya without ilya reacting like a wild fucking animal

ilya comes back from therapy with galina like three months after this fight (of course it was a fight) and with the same candor as ashley padilla in then mom confession sketch goes i’m only going to say this once and i’m only going to say it if after i do you promise you will not react no talking no faces no nothing and shane’s on the couch reading like uh. what’s going on? and ilya goes what i have to tell you. Is that I think I was treated unfairly. By my mom. and of course shane makes a face and ilya is reacting like a wild fucking animal

#but that was his mama and he loved her so much and she was gone way too soon and he has put her up on a pedestal :(#because what else was 12 year old ilya supposed to do and she wasn't strict like his father so for him that meant she automatically couldn'#do anything wrong because at least she was better than his father and on her good days she hugged him and told him she loved him#and ilya has a hard time computing that two things can be true at once yes she loved him yes she also treated him unfairly sometimes#<- not only does he put her on a pedestal but he also romanticizes his own role in this situation#''wasn't i a good son? wasn't i so mature and empathetic and sensitive and nice?''#because of course this is what his mother would tell him (which reinforced those ideas)#and also suddenly being nice and soft and sensitive wasn't a bad thing like his father would say#it would make him feel vindicated#which again just reinforced the feeling#ilyalogía#heated rivalry

shane gets shane free use for his birthday and ilya also gets shane free use for his birthday

wish everyone could perceive the Vague Concepts in my head because i just know you would looove my Vague Concepts. you would think im so smart if you saw the misty clouds of Vague Concepts floating around in my head. #MyVagueConcepts

my pet millimeter has been blown away by a gust of wind forever

happy birthday to Ilya Rozanov, a fuckboy so charming that he managed to convince many, many real people that he’s actually 9 inches. his power ❤️