A Daydreamer's Wonderland

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see

Sam trying to get Frodo to take one more step

Sam psychologically tormenting Gollum

They just don’t release the hounds like they used to

in my day someone just let the dogs out. never did know who.

cemeteries aren't creepy they're actually devoted to memory and rest and love and humanity

having 40 minutes to leave the house is terrible because 40 minutes is basically 30 minutes and 30 minutes is basically 20 minutes and 20 minutes is basically fifteen seconds. but 50 minutes? 50 minutes is an hour, and an hour? ooobh thats plany off time

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

everyone who is not currently in the process of moving please pause and take a moment to be grateful that you're not currently in the process of moving

this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s

slightly touches men’s lower back when walking past them to feminize them

i could definitely beat the shit out of master chief seeing as i'm a lesbian and he's not a lesbian