problems on purpose

got robbed and my car keys were stolen :( $150 replacement please help me out if you can

So the UK will reroute a fucking Internet cable for a fake grave for a fake elf because a bunch of brain dead nerds through a pissy fit, and meanwhile real actual natives in the US are getting arrested for trying to keep oil sand pipelines from going through their actual graves, holy sites and unceded territory. Burn it all down.

oh it's worse, it's not an internet cable, it's a cable for distributing cleanly generated solar/wind electricity

this grave has a real life physical location and YOU 🫵 can destroy it

i wasn't ready for that..lol

baby girl I don't know what that acronym means. it would be so sexy of you to write out that piece of media's name in its entirety. Just the one time for momma please.

Hey so last night I was really drunk and I inverted your dog. yeah he's now everything he once wasn't, and no part of him is retained from his former self. But you can see glimpses of what he once was in the reflection of what he's become so thats cool.

I just had sex with hello neighbor.

this same regular asks if we're hiring at least twice a week. the real answer is virtually always yes but none of the managers will give him the time of day because he never cleans his table up after himself. The interview really does begin the second you walk through that door...

times are tough i know but we all fantasise about running you over. you don't want to work here. we'll cook you. you'll be food. we'll sell you.

apparently he's been doing this longer than any current members of staff have actually been here. leave.

god it would be awesome if the human brain could just ignore an upsetting thing instead of constantly wandering back to it for no fucking reason