im in your house :)

There’s a lot of hate on widowers and I saw a woman say “You cannot compete with a dead woman.” which is perhaps a reasonable statement to say if he’s constantly comparing you to his dead partner but that wasn’t what the post was about. And I realized “Oh my God, these people genuinely feel like they’re constantly in competition with their spouse’s exes and the ex being dead makes them feel insecure that they cannot best her.”

1) I am widowed. my Beloved Wife of Blessed Memory(tm) died in 2019

2) I got together with my current partner about 18 months later

3) when I am committing acts of Foolishness my current partner loves to gesture at the sky to my dead wife, like "do you see this shit, my liege" and regularly says to me things like "[wife's name] was right about this" when my Foolishness inevitably comes back to bite me in the ass

4) this happens. all the time

more importantly:

5) my current partner is on tumblr

6) they love to incessantly send me posts

WHICH MEANS:

7) they just sent me this post with this commentary:

Tommy," He addresses his impatient five year old. "Can your old man get a hello first?"

"Hi," He says. "Steve is here."

"Okay?"

"He wants to tell you a joke," Tommy tells him. "It's really dumb but you gotta laugh anyways so you don't hurt his feelings. He has a lot of feelings."

David smiles.

Now if only Tommy would have the same consideration for his brothers' feelings.

"I might think it's funny."

"You won't."

Tommy holds his hand out for his dad to take and then pulls him deeper into their chaotic home. He leads his father to the kitchen where his wife is cooking with some help from their littlest guest.

David kisses his wife and then claps his hands together, "What's this that I hear about a joke, Steve?"

"Oh! I have one to tell you," Steve says, fighting a grin. "What's a dentist's favorite time?"

"Hm," David hums like he's thinking about it. "Lunchtime?"

"No," Steve giggles. "2:30...get it? Cause tooth hurty. It's funny 'cause you're a dentist."

"Oh man," David laughs. He even slaps his knee, he laughs so much. "I gotta tell my hygienist that joke. That's hilarious."

Steve smiled, pleased with himself, and tells Tommy, "See! I told you he'd think it's funny."

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

However, he replied to said email within five minutes, asking a question that required an answer. So I answered and was like "Also, I was going to apologize for answering emails during this call, but I see we're both here at the Devil's Sacrament, so I don't think an apology is necessary."

I watched him read that on screen and try not to laugh. And then at the end of the call as everyone started saying goodbye, he goes, "Hey, MJ, I meant to tell you. I like your shoelaces."

And I looked straight into my camera, stone cold serious, and said, "Thanks. I stole them from the president."

And the rest of the team was like, "What...the fuck...?" before he abruptly ended the call for everyone.

Next up someone is going to claim that the Narnia series isn't kids books.

Consider: baby Shane who pronounces ‘puck’ as ‘fuck’. Like. Teeny (fat) baby. He’s about 14-15 months and in Yuna’s arms watching a hockey game on TV.

“MAMA FUCK!”

“Yes, sweetie. PUCK.” *glances at her in-laws awkwardly.”

He’s almost two and running around with a baby hockey stick, and a cousin takes it.

“My fuck my fuck my fuck!”