UNLIMITED RICE PUDDING

Usually its stress, paranoia or ptsd from near death experience.

Lets say you walked into the next room, and standing on a piece of furniture was a little man, literally 18 inches tall, at most, in green clothing, clambering and climbing about. I don’t mean like what you’d imagine from a special effect or a cartoon, but a real tiny thing that looked, moved, and acted like an impossibly miniature humanlike creature, the hair wouldn’t be shrunk by proportion, there’d be fewer folicles overall, but more densely packed. You can see the faint veins under the skin, the hairs, the pores, you can smell it, it leaves scuffs, it makes sounds appropriate for its size… and when it sees you, it just looks at you, tilts its head, smiles mischieviously, and darts under the couch, vanishing. The only thing you find is a gold coin, which is real, solid, and rare, having not seen circulation in centuries.

You’ve had, in this scenario, an encounter with a leprechaun. It’s a relatively understandable phenomenon. There’s plenty of tolklore to prepare you for it, the creature is rationally built, has antatomy that makes sense, is similar to yourself enough to be very familiar. It wasn’t even hostile. 

Is your life ever going to be the same? 

In addition to questioning whether you actually saw what you saw, you now have to wonder why you were visited. Wil it come back? If it does can it hurt you? If it can, can you stop it? Where did it come from? Has it always just been there, out of sight? Is it here right now?

And those are just surface level questions. Now, fundamentally, the rules of reality have to be reassessed. If such a thing can exist, what does that say about our understanding of biology and evolution? Moreover, there are suddenly theological implications here, none of which are likely to be cleanly or comfortingly answered in their entirety. 

You’ve just witnessed sone of the single most important encounters in human history, and anyone who hears you talk about it is going to think you’ve lost your mind. The terror and sense of lonliness from that is going to be soul crushing.

So I’ve read a couple times in different places that while you and Terry were doing press for the good omens book, you came across an interviewer who didn’t realize the book was fiction and thought you were a couple of people actually predicting how the world would end. Does this interview exist anywhere or was it never published after people figured out you were not in fact doomsaying prophets?

a lot of european countries saying it’s long/uses an older version of the language

a lot more people saying no than i thought. like i did Not expect it to be this many i thought no would be a rare answer

Me a second later:

“Henlo I am big twuck pwease give me wots of woom tank u :)”

American trucks are bred for long hauls on largely straight roads. They can go for hours without a break. A European truck needs more breaks and a lighter load, and they would indeed take great internal damage if they tried to keep up with the Longsnout.

The European Shortsnout is not bred for looks, but for agility! They navigate the windy roads of Europe in a way that would be way too risky for the powerful, but more clumsy American truck. It is true that the European overheats faster at high speeds, that is the very reason that breaks every 4,5 hours are mandatory for both the truck and the handler and a day of driving can never be longer then 9 hours.

I would also like to point out that the tags have got it backwards. The wild trucks (which I’m pretty sure are extinct in the wild now) that all modern breeds stemmed from were shortnose trucks. We had known about automobiles and domesticated several species, but the truck species was not discovered until close to the start of the 1900’s, in Germany, which I BELIEVE was the first country to breed them in captivity, although England was the first country to really start using them for work. I managed to find a photo of taxidermied specimen

As you can see, it resembles both long and short nosed breeds, as well as the far more common house truck used by individuals instead of for commercial work.

Pics for reference:

The classic long-nose schoolbus

While these vehicles can sometimes be bred by accident (after all, who hasn’t accidentally left the gate open when your school bus is in season), they are usually bred for specific purposes.

These hybrids are bred for both their cargo capacity and their gentle temperments. Especially in a farm setting, there’s a need for many different kinds of vehicles, some of which sometimes don’t get along. Having a vehicle with both the strength and capacity of a large work truck with the amiable nature of a school bus can be a real benefit.

It’s a little unfortunate that these hybrids tend to be sterile, though, since it would be easier if they’d breed true. Also, something to keep in mind… bus trucks are bred from a bus.

Truck buses are bred from a truck and… tend to not be quite as useful as bus trucks, although some people do like keeping truck buses for companionship and as show vehicles.

The thing rose upon its lowermost appendages, two long trunks that ended in flat, protruding flippers that branched into stubby, grasping mockeries of a sucker. It’s triple-hinged uppermost limbs were similar, but the ends branched into five smaller tentacles, each with three hinges of their own.

I froze, as the thing’s gaze fell upon me and it opened its hideous fish-jaw, filled with thick, many-shaped teeth like white shards of stone, and spoke in a shrill, discordant babble. I felt its horrid dry grip on my flesh, as those hinged appendages closed on me like the legs of a crab.

I felt the heat of its body, tasted its noxious, oily flesh through my touch, and prepared for the end, and all went black as a swoon overtook me.

I awoke, some time later, the cold and comforting water, banished back to the comfort of the sea and the dark. I should be grateful I am alive. I should cast aside the experience like a half-remembered dream.

I shall never again go swimming in search of lights above. The last thing I recall before the darkness took me was my right eye popping free of the thing’s grasp enough to see into the distance for one brief moment.

stare

sound on*

So a while back (I can’t remember exactly when but I think it was some time around the 40s/50s), a bunch of penguins escaped. A keeper left the gate open so a bunch of penguins just… followed them. And the people loved it. Look at these adorable birds outside their cage just following that guy around! So they get all the penguins back inside and realise that none of them really ran off, they just followed the keeper and went back inside and crowd thought it was amazing, so why not make it a regular thing? Get enough people there that if one of them goes to make a run for it (which at least one has in the past), they can’t get past the people, and let the ones who want outside have a little wander. So every day, they get a crowd, they open the gate, and whatever penguins want to get out can go, waddle about, squawk at people, and then hop back inside.