it's real sweet to grow old

S02E9: The Satan Pit

Seasonal Variation of Polyphenols and Pigments in Ginkgo (Ginkgo biloba L.) Leaves [x]

this is the most beautiful shape for an animal to be

and he notices, because that's his job. was his job. that was the point of him, to know her well enough to notice something has changed. and he doesn't say anything, isn't going to say anything, and in fact maybe nothing gets said. neither of them say anything and the lab explodes and she sends him to die and she waits and waits and waits and the beetles come back and he doesn't. and then she wakes up again on an aircraft carrier off the coast of china

she looks at him as long as she's able and she packs him more vitamins and she doesn't say anything and the lab explodes and she waits and the crops fail and she waits and the wars start and she waits and the beetles come back and she wakes up again on an aircraft carrier and she rolls over to press her face into the mattress and she screams

she packs him vitamins. she looks at him. he gets mildly obsessed with a different c-drama every time, somehow. maybe that's the linchpin, maybe he just has to make it through them all. she fills a harddrive with them. she tells him she's never been more sure of anything than she is of him. she waits and she waits and she waits. the beetles come back. he doesn't. she wakes up on an aircraft carrier.

she lets the lab explode. she lets him hate her for killing him. she's going to be older than his alien, soon. she's on the aircraft carrier, watching him breathe, for six months. and then she's waiting, and waiting, and waiting, for twenty seven years. twenty seven years is too long for any neat little montages of her catching things before they fall. the weather isn't even the same. it depends who wins the war for the sahara. she's sisyphus, she's prometheus, she's atlas. she kills her only warmth and it gets colder and colder and colder until she wakes up again and there he is. maybe it's a gift. six whole months of him breathing

and she says I keep killing you and you never make it any easier. Why do I keep getting you back? and he says Why am I here at all? and he doesn't remember, he's just far too willing to follow her anywhere, and she doesn't want to lose him. she has to. she says It has to be you. and he says If you're sure.

well I asked the Glow Cloud (all hail) and it emitted a low whistleing and dropped a lizard on my head.

Grateful by Leonard Cohen