bad puns and finger guns

you really do turn thirty and everything is different and sometimes better. if you're in line for thirty stay in line bro

(violently jerking the steering wheel) my car swerves like crazy when i do this

im not christian but i do believe in the power of prayer. for this reason i keep a little homonculus in a dog crate under my bed which i have raised as a devout catholic. whenever i want something in my life to change i poke him with a stick and he clasps his grubby little paws together and starts chanting in latin. his prayers always go through because he has never known sin

just a heads up. im gonna do a big curse soon

okay so honestly i wasn’t expecting they’d be able to hide the body for this long

LINDSEY GRAHAM ?

10/6/2024

ive heard if its all gone wrong and is fucked beyond repair you can actually use it for banana bread

ultimately we all have to quit our jobs and walk into the sea

what a beautiful time of year everyone is growing veegtables for me spacifically, one problem though you need to make fences shorter im sure its a mistake but i cant reach some of them

hello imptortant message from deer youyr doing it agen. i cant eet the vegbals you are growing for me like this

hey man i see the projector in your mind's eye casting the image of a beautiful self indulgent fantasy over my silhouette so i just wanted to remind you before you try any funny business that when its battery dies it's just going to be me here

fuckkkkkk I cleared the time loop first try

person w adhd experiencing symptoms of adhd: why the fuck can’t I do this thing . I wish there was some explanation for this