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@misslampface
Inside the important job of keeping poop puns, dick jokes, and hate speech off California’s roadways
absolutely incredible journalism
California DMV says MILF rights

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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So the other night my mom was upstairs on a zoom call with The Council of Retired White Moms (her book club) , my dad was downstairs working out, and my brother and I were cleaning up the kitchen, which obviously requires a soundtrack.
Now, you know how sometimes you’re like “alexa, play [a song]” and she’s like “playing [a totally different song] on TST’s spotify”? or maybe she just decides to play literally nothing instead? My workaround has always been to select the Echo as thr output device in the spotify app. It works like 80% of the time.
As such, when Alexa couldn’t manage to play my great kitchen cleaning jam on the night at issue, I opened spotify, selected the kitchen echo, and pressed play. When the Echo didn’t respond, I just assumed it was just the usual spotify/alexa bullshit... until the screaming began.
This next part is important: there are 32 devices on our network and nobody but me ever names them. So when I’m selecting a device to play spotify on, I have to pick the right speaker out from a long list of random alphanumeric gibberish. I usually guess right, but I do occasionally fuck it up. Accordingly, it came to pass that I had not told Spotify to play my music on the kitchen echo; I had actually selected the iHome in my mom’s office.
Mom originally bought the iHome to play NPR loud enough that she could hear it from any room in the house. It’s not a smart speaker, though, and mom (like the majority of boomers) prefers to use voice commands. Once she got her own Echo, she just basically forgot about the iHome. More importantly, she forgot how to use it, and then, it seems, forgot that it was a speaker system at all - a few weeks prior to the events of this story, I was trying to troubleshoot her computer and had a private and very sensible chuckle to myself when she incidentally referred to it as “that digital clock.”
For the past few years it’s just been lurking silently on her desk next to her laptop.
Waiting.
As a result, when the iHome unexpectedly lurched back to life at its customary maximum volume, neither my mother nor the 25+ other Women of a Certain Age in her book club had any idea of:
a) where the music was coming from, or
b) how to stop it
I had started up the stairs in response to the screaming, but I paused (out of mom’s line of sight) when I realized what was happening.
“STOP IT!” My mom was out of her chair and screaming. “WHAT IS THAT!? NO! ALEXA, STOP IT! ALEXA! STOP PLAYING!”
A greek chorus of distraught book club attendees was echoing her sentiments over the laptop speakers, the monitor displaying the horrified face of each speaker in incredibly rapid succession.
“ALEXA!” My mom shouted at the mesh router point, “MAKE IT STOP! NO! NO! NO!”
(“Did you mean ‘set a timer?’” the Echo in her bedroom asked politely.)
The song, naturally, did not stop, and mom did not think to mute her laptop or pull the power cord from the iHome. Instead, she whirled around several times held her arms out in a sort of T-pose, as if she could physically stop the book club attendees from hearing the song I’d picked out.
I will say this for the iHome - sure, it’s old tech, but even at max volume, the lyrics could be understood with perfect clarity.
Now, this would have probably been funny regardless of the song I had chosen as my kitchen clean-up jam. I know that. But the actual song that my mom’s book club encountered that night is what raises the whole thing from “amusing anecdote” to “genuinely incredible.”
If you have been following me for a while, you’ll know that I tend to think of myself as a real prankster. A rascal, a scamp, a jester of a woman. I have engineered a few comedic misadventures in my day. But I have to be humble here... what I unintentionally accomplished that night was so much funnier than anything I have ever done on purpose. It was the absolute apex of comedy.
The song I had chosen, dear readers, was WAP.
this is the funniest thing to ever happen
too busy being invested in 8+ year old video games to care about anything new that’s being announced
Might have these out of order but just a good thread to share.
[link to the original thread on twitter for screenreaders]
on one hand this thread makes me want to cry a lot and on the other I’m like, well, my brain is a complex system and now I have a sort of entry point to figure out how it works, so that’s good
I want to reblog this because sometimes finding the word for how your brain works differently is helpful.
this is helpful! but also… it’s all things that can be passed off as ADHD as well. does anyone know of any resources for distinguishing between autism and ADHD? I’ve been looking for some for a long time and haven’t had any luck
so im not a mental health professional, so keep my response to this with a grain of salt, but this is my understanding as someone with adhd who works as a teacher and has learned about these conditions and how they work and has worked with kids with them (and has a brother on the spectrum)
the core of adhd is problems with executive functioning- this is a series of functions that primarily take place in the frontal cortex of the brain which cover goal-making, prioritization of and completion of tasks, motivation, attention, focus, time management, organization, and impulse control - if your primary difficulties are with these, it’s more likely adhd
autism revolves around issues of sensory processing, cognitive empathy, communication and language processing; someone with adhd may have issues with sensory processing, but this is more likely to interfere with their ability to focus; they are much less likely to have a full on sensory overload meltdown - in fact I’ve never seen that in a student with adhd but I have seen it in students with autism; there’s also differences with empathy (which I go into later)
people with adhd and autism have strong relationships with routines and rules but in different ways - in adhd the routines they are used to or they create for themselves can help them remember to complete tasks or manage their time. changes in routine make it more difficult because the accommodation is taken away leading to forgetfulness or disorganization which can be distressing. for someone with autism the routine itself is important and comforting and any break in routine is incredibly distressing - not because of a difficulty in executive disfunction like for someone with adhd, but because of the change itself. an example i can give you is an autistic student of mine always had to get up from his desk and watch when the trolley went by - this routine was necessary to him even though it didn’t help him complete his work in any way - whereas for me, a class time or weekly meeting changing causes me stress because I am more likely to forget it or be late since the routine helps me remember
adhd & autism can both result in social issues but for different reasons. with adhd the problems usually stem from lack of impulse control, hyperactivity, day dreaming and/or special interests and while autism can include those issues, if you also have difficulty reading & using social cues and communication it’s more likely to be autism not adhd.
It’s also not uncommon for someone on the spectrum to have a disinterest in socializing or even in having friends - I’ve had multiple students who were probably on the spectrum who were perfectly happy being alone and not having any friends at all, but I feel like that is really rare among kids with adhd who are more likely to have at least one or two close friends and if not, be very unhappy - this isn’t to say no one on the autism spectrum wants friends or has friends or is sad about being unliked, just that if you remember being content being alone as a kid or having a tendency to not really socialize with people, that’s more likely autism than adhd
both ppl with autism & adhd may have special interests & info dump - main difference would probably be person with adhd has more awareness when ppl are losing interest or think they’re weird but can’t help themselves and a person with autism is less likely to notice or recognize what others think / how they react
both ppl with autism & adhd may stim (do repetitive movements) but the stimming can differ and be motivated by different things. someone with adhd may use a fidget spinner or move back and forth in an rolling chair or pace or doodle to help them concentrate or because of hyperactivity. if someone with adhd is prevented from stimming it probably would not cause them emotional distress in and of itself: it would likely make it harder for them to concentrate or offset hyperactivity and that could cause frustration but the act itself is actually probably not that important. letting out a kid with adhd for recess early or giving them another outlet would probably work. but for someone with autism it could result in a meltdown or a complete inability to do a task bc the stim itself feels necessary or highly important or comforting. people with autism are also more likely to stim in more obvious or socially “unacceptable ways” like rocking back and forth, making certain sounds, etc. Ofc not all people autism do this, but it can happen in autism but I’ve never seen it in adhd
procrastination is more of an adhd issue - do you procrastinate and put off things even things you enjoy? like a tv show you keep meaning to watch, a friend you keep meaning to call? do even your special interests get put off sometimes? more likely to be adhd than autism
organization is more of a problem for adhd; a kid with a super messy backpack and chaotic room who keeps forgetting and losing their homework is more likely to have adhd; a kid who keeps everything in a particular place and is really upset by things being moved or changed is more likely to have autism
difficulty with speaking or processing language is a symptom of autism which can include not understanding what people are saying, or having moments where you find yourself unable to talk (selective mutism) - some ppl with autism have tendencies like echolalia where they repeat things people say or find it very hard to put thoughts and feelings into words; ADHD does not include these symptoms - in fact this was the major difference between me (kid with adhd) and my brother (kid with autism) - i am a very communicative person who loves language, my brother struggled with expressing himself in words growing up
students I had with autism had a lot of trouble drawing inferences or reading between the lines but they did very well with facts, For instance, when we would read passages together, they would scan the passages for specific details, but they had a hard time stating the main idea or inferring what was suggested or describing character traits and feelings. I had a student who could rattle off all the presidents and first ladies and lots of facts about classical musicians but couldn’t tell you what a character was feeling in a scene or what the main idea of an article was. If that feels familiar you more likely have autism than adhd
difficulty with cognitive empathy is a common issue for autism but not for adhd. you might say tactless things if you have adhd but you’re more likely to say dumb shit and regret it due to impulse control whereas with autism you’d be confused as to why people are upset at you or you might simply have difficulty understanding how others think and feel. a common misconception is autistic people are cold or don’t care about others NOT TRUE AT ALL - cognitive empathy doesn’t mean you don’t FEEL for others, it means you have trouble putting yourself in other people’s shoes - adhd does not cause issues with this - it more causes issues with impulse control and keeping up with relationships due to issues with goal-setting, remembering social engagements, etc
people should feel free to add more

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For 37 years it’s been up there on the flat roof of Mark Gubin’s building in the flight path of Mitchell International Airport. A sign painted in letters 6 feet tall tells people arriving here by air: “WELCOME TO CLEVELAND.”
“There’s not a real purpose for having this here except madness, which I tend to be pretty good at,” Gubin said
Above that the roof, he was having lunch one day in 1978 with a woman who worked as his assistant. Taking note of all the low-flying planes, she said it would be nice to make a sign welcoming everyone to Milwaukee. “You know what would even be better?” Gubin said.
The next thing you know, he’s out there on the black roof with a roller and white paint creating the sign that would bring more notoriety than anything else in his long career. A story about his confusing message ran in thousands of newspapers and magazines, on national TV news, “The Tonight Show,” Paul Harvey, all over.
(Fact Source)
Follow Ultrafacts for more facts!
My hero
I want Venom 2 to start off with a peppy song playing while Eddie makes breakfast or something. It should have visual gags such as Venom opening the fridge for him to retrieve eggs while he’s at the stove to show how their relationship has developed between the first and second movie and how they really are in sync and in a mutualistic symbiosis thanks
vintage 2020 right here
a little-known birth control method is tracking down and starting a fight with that twitter user who casts the “may your womb be barren” spells on everyone she dislikes
OKAY I’M SORRY SHE GOES BY YARROW NOW
Should I get into the Ghost Harem™️ or is it too much
you can’t just mention a ghost harem and NOT elaborate!!!
Okay, so the short version is she thinks she communes with the deceased and demons and stuff because she’s a super-cool satanist pagan witch with a catgirl succubus persona named Chordeva in the astral realm or something, and so she has four boyfriends who are dead including Heath Ledger, Richard “Nightstalker” Ramirez, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Michael Jackson.
She also used to “speak” for them online by channeling them through her body so they’d use her to type (and she did this for Satan too and it was as cringe as you’d expect) and basically Michael Jackson is genderqueer and fucking Richard Ramirez from beyond the grave and they’re all fucking Stephanie too, and at one point Stephanie split up with Michael when he wanted to save his deceased father from Hell and he got the astral child in the ghost divorce, but that’s fine because she thinks she can get AIDS from having sex with ghosts so at least Michael isn’t getting AIDS while he’s dead.
And there was the time she used Richard’s name to send (google translated) Spanish death threats to people, and used Michael’s name to say the N-word because she thought it made the act more convincing. She groomed a group of minors on DeviantArt (me included) and had people calling her “daddy,” and that only stopped because she got in a fight with one of the kids who happened to have a heart condition and had to go to the hospital because of the stress, and then Stephanie took credit for sending Michael’s spirit to pull the girl’s soul out of the afterlife, and when you lowkey kill a disabled teenager from another country and take credit for saving their life other people start to notice and so she got doxxed and now her parents (who she still lives with in her 30s) won’t let her use DeviantArt ever again.
That was longer than I intended but there’s just…so much…
@aroacedavestrider my dude i cannot in good faith accept these useless geography facts on account of them being iconic, actually
oh my god nothing in my imagination could've prepared me for market island.
or for this review on google maps:
im glad to know my horrible facts are making their rounds and im here with more horrible facts
- the most secluded inhabited island in the world is a place called tristan da cunha. its in the middle of the atlantic ocean at a whopping fucking 1500 miles away from the closest inhabited location (south africa). people just fucking live out there??
- the oldest lake in the world is (probably) lake zaysan in kazahstan. nobodys entirely certain yet but theres evidence that suggests that this is a 65 million year old body of water, meaning theres a lake that exists and can be looked at today that could have had dinosaurs drinking out of it at one point
-the lake immediately following that is confirmed to be at least 25 million years old and thats lake baikal in siberia russia. the bitch is on a continental fault that expands about 2cm per year and as of right now this lake is over a mile deep. the bottom however is FULL of sediment and the actual rift floor is NINE MILES DOWN. this monstrosity of a lake contains literally 20% of the earths nonfrozen fresh water, it has its own unique species of seal, and eventually in millions of years this thing is gonna be an ocean. lake baikal is a baby fucking ocean. its gonna split russias ass in two. i am 100% certain it is sentient
- there is not a single river in saudi arabia and that blows my mind for some reason
- theres whats now considered a lost “eighth continent” thats submerged in the south pacific ocean. the islands of new zealand are the highest peaks of the chunk of continental crust that we now call zealandia. its about half the size of australia and its also connected to other little archipelagos like new caledonia. we found it. old zealand
- the entrance to this fucking ancient bay lake in venezuela (lake maracaibo, over 20 million years old) is the most likely place to get struck by lightning in the world. it gets around 1.2 million lightning strikes per year
- LAKE HILLIER AUSTRALIA FUCKIGN PINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- and finally. more enclave border bullshit. i told yall about baarle hertog. now look at india and pakistan. i present to you the one and only third order enclave
this . this was a piece of india, surrounded by a piece of bangladesh, surrounded.. by a piece of india..... surrounded by bangladesh . it has since been ceded over to bangladesh but the fact that we allowed this to exist is incredible
anyway do with all that what you will. raise your hand if you can tell this is a fixation of mine

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Ian McKellen says that all gay people should be trans allies
Sir Ian McKellen urges gay people to be better allies to the transgender community.
The legendary actor and Stonewall co-founder joined It’s a Sin star Olly Alexander for a special LGBT+ History Month talk on TikTok on February 25, Pink News reports.
Sir Ian said:
“I do hear people – gay people – talk about transgender people in very much the same terms as people used to talk about your common or garden gay.
“The connection between us all is we come under the queer umbrella – we are queer. I quite like being queer actually.
“The problems that transgender people have with the law are not dissimilar from what used to be the case for us, so I think we should all be allies really.“
This is not the first time the actor has stood up to transphobes.
Speaking to lifestyle magazine Attitude, the veteran star talked about how happy he was about Elliot Page coming out as transgender.
He felt “so disappointed” with himself for not recognizing the struggles that the then-teenage actor could have been facing when they worked together.
The actor talked about why it is important to be honest with oneself.
Top photo from The Talks.
1. KING SHIT
2. yes
3.”common or garden gay”
The king called you bitches basic
is this what the kids are listening to these days?
Took me a while to identify what in the world the other brass was till I realized it wasn’t.
Someone even transcribed it!
jesus god someone transcribed this i can’t believe it
(for those of u who are new to my house: my cousin is the one playing the chair)
Transcript for the hearing impaired:
TOOT scoot scoot TOOT scoot scoot
I love this so much
Thank god they decided to make more
Wow
Dolly Parton has really been hard at work
But In doing so…she created her biggest enemy…Jolene
The tags fucking one shotted me
currently have thousands of people yelling at me on twitter because i said drinking water regularly is healthier than only drinking soda and coffee occasionally
the water haters have logged on
for the love of god please help me

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frog cake / credit
forg
everybody on this site is missing a) compassion b) critical thinking skills and c) reading comprehension
d) all of the above
it says and
you propose a theorem and then you include proof