no no no no no na

the only thing stronger than the gastric distress i get from eating cherries is my love for eating cherries

what

thank you. im once again reminded why i love tumblr because where else could i get content like this

this gag NEVER fails to make me laugh. watching them all file in one by one and collectively laugh harder every time the next guy walks in…i could watch videos of this practical joke all day

Their faces as they collectively realize they’re married to the funniest women on the planet

Top-notch prank: no hurt feelings, no embarrassment, keeps getting funnier as it goes.

my latent uncle abilities

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either

Cutting something out of your life because you think you don’t need it any more only to realize that it was in fact working as intended and preventing a problem that will return should you stop doing this is a good experiment to run periodically with something small like dandruff shampoo, lest you start to think it would be a good idea to do this with like let’s say public health and the social safety net and vaccines

#you are not immune to the recency bias(via@arrows-for-pens)

Every person on earth needs to read this post. It will make people’s lives a lot better and lessen the crises everyone faces in day-to-day lives.

I reblog this every time I see it because I am not immune to the recency bias

concept: me, sleeping until all this is over

dear universe give me ten billion dollars and infinite free time and indestructible hands so i can do every hobby ever

I love seeing my mutuals in my notes because it confirms they’re not mad at me. yet

Statement of Y/N, regarding their time in servitude to the entity formerly known as One Direction. Statement begins.

people aren't even exaggerating indeed is literally like that. walmart attendant $13 an hour, target attendant $13 an hour, AI dick sucker $40 an hour, home depot attendant $13 an hour, guy who designs bullets that can only kill children $160k a year plus benefits, gas station manager $18 an hour

im nonbinary in a way that doesnt really matter