Sad little 'tato

seeing a black and white cow is always so damn awesome it’s like Hey i know that guy.from my kindergarten abcs

after touching spicy foods immediately touch your eyes, penis, and vagina

“i’m not the same as who i was before [x] thing happened to me” does it help to know that you would not have stayed that person regardless

OP, this is genuinely a masterpiece, three poems in one, moving and well crafted. Please tell me you have submitted it to at least some poetry contests, and if not, please do so.

did you know you can reblog a post without adding things to it

Ok this one’s allowed cause its freakyyyyyyy

A lot of people on Tik Tok have migrated over to the Chinese app RedNote, and the Chinese users are so fucking funny about it. I saw one comment that was like "Welcome, I was the Chinese citizen assigned to spy on your data, I missed you"

I should draw rouge the bat. But in what circumstance

can I stay in bed until 2025

Wake up bitch

Love how this website will have conversations with the long dead.

you know what really gets my goat?

el chupacabra

Whoa, chupacabra’s a millennial?

That Pizza Hut among other things is why Egyptologists laugh their asses off when we see another piece of media where the protagonists get "lost in the desert near the pyramids", because it's like... just turn around my dudes you're only a seven min walk away from the nearest fastfood shop

Yall don't know how much I adore all of this

What if we had a plagiarism scandal here on tumblr, kinda annoyed at the youtubies having all the fun

you can literally get gender changers for like $3

Reblog if you got a gender changer for like $3

P…PANSY SPEECH BUBBLE?!??!???????????? I need to reconsider my entire artistic practice. I have so much to learn

why must it always be 'peppering'. why can't i salt my lover with kisses. paprika my lover with kisses. 3 tablespoons chili powder 2 teaspoons ground cumin 1/2 teaspoons oregano my lover with kisses

Yeah why can't I cumin my lover

I just wanna say the original is like a thousand times funnier than all the edgy sex joke versions. Some of us are just autistic about reptile phylogeny, bitch.