Evidence That You're Wanted
Take a few minutes to gather evidence that people enjoy having you in their lives. Sometimes evidence is surprisingly ordinary. A friend sending you a meme, someone remembering your coffee order, or a person reaching out first all count.
Screenshots of kind messages.
Compliments you've received.
Invitations from friends or loved ones.
Times someone reached out to you first.
Positive comments from coworkers, classmates, or family members.
Memories of people enjoying your company.
Notes about ways you've made a positive difference in someone's life.
Birthday cards, letters, or any sort of physical notes.
You don't have to gather everything at once. This can be something you add to over time. (In fact, I encourage you to do that!)
When you're finished, save it somewhere you can easily access later. A folder on your phone, a journal page, or your anchor box are all great options. (Yes, I know… I’m a broken record.)
The purpose of this activity isn't to prove that everyone likes you all the time. That's impossible for anyone.
The goal is to remind yourself that the story your brain tells when you're feeling rejected isn't always the complete story.
On difficult days, it can be easy to forget the invitations, the kind words, the laughter, the people who choose to spend time with you, and the relationships that have lasted through hard moments.
This collection is a reminder that those things happened too. And they still count, even when your emotions are trying to convince you otherwise.
If you completed the activity in the chapter on splitting, you may notice some similarities here. That activity focused on building a balanced picture of one specific person when strong emotions make it difficult to see the whole relationship. This activity is a little different. Instead of focusing on one person, you're collecting evidence that people generally enjoy having you in their lives. The goal isn't to prove that everyone likes you all the time. It's to challenge the belief that nobody does.
If you’d like to follow along with doing an anchor box, see my master post here.