Fictional Lands Before Prostate Glands

#saruman's big artificials vs. gandalf's big naturals

game where you play as a medieval knight but it's peacetime so it's mostly about estate administration and property law

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

What a time to be alive.

I am 100% cooler with this knowing that the spear-thrower realized “oops maybe I shouldn’t have done that” and tried to make it right, and that the guy who the drone belonged to was cool with it

Everything about this post blesses those involved with a +4 on their next Today is Good Day roll

​World Heritage Post

Prince whose noblest knight keeps insisting that he would throw himself upon his own blade to bleed himself dry of sin should his liege request it has to reassure concerned citizens, "I've never asked him to do that."

thinking about how tamora pierce said in the original draft of the song of the lioness thom and roger were lovers and that's why thom resurrected him in book 4 but then when the story got reworked as YA for publishing that got cut because The 80s (and also i think roger being queer villain would not have been Great) but then she never really offered a different reason for why thom used necromancy to resurrect roger specifically given that he was kinda terrible. maybe thom was just feeling sillayyyyy that day.

Occasionally you do need to just let fantasy be fantasy. "Why are the mountains around Mordor in a square, mountain ranges don't work like that" well you see there's an evil god who lives there hope this helps

Top!Saphira and Bottom!Thorn confirmed.

When a man has great wounds done to him, the urge to wound in return is an unbearable thing. —The Scottish Boy, Alex De Campi.

I just spend half an hour reading all the amazon reviews on the scottish boy and I'm literally cry-laughing like 80% of them complain about too many explicit sex scenes like ma dudes, this was a stucky fanfic...

even being unfamiliar with who it was reskinned fic for, the scottish boy was lots of fun for me due to scenes such as the narrator yelling at a room full of men for describing how they’d fuck his squire (secret lover) and then went outside like ☹️ i’m hard from what they were saying, and immediately jacking off against a tree. harry de lyon you sicko. you are so fun