DEAR READER


pixel skylines
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

Kaledo Art
AnasAbdin

ellievsbear
RMH
🪼
Xuebing Du

JVL
noise dept.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Cosimo Galluzzi

@theartofmadeline
NASA

#extradirty

shark vs the universe

seen from Argentina

seen from Malaysia
seen from Denmark
seen from United States

seen from Brazil

seen from France
seen from Brazil

seen from Malaysia
seen from Greece

seen from Germany

seen from Denmark
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye

seen from India
seen from Singapore

seen from Greece

seen from Malaysia
@hirilelfwraith

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Be careful princess 🌸
I just love that multiple people not only though “the black one is a princess and those are her bodyguards” but also came to the conclusion “they’re also, obviously, samurai.”
carnivore on carnivore ccomfort
everyone eat more vegetables NOW!!! and mention the last vegetable you ate in the tags so we're all on the buddy system. I'll start: bok choy
This is an anti-despair checkpoint! You must share something you're looking forward to before scrolling on.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i hate eating food in the summer. why are you making me do this. i should be able to pull a reverse bear gambit where i eat a lot of nutrients all winter and fall and spring and then i sleep all summer. alternately if it's hot outside i should be able to survive comfortably by eating fruit and lettuces and perhaps sometimes ice cream. there should be NO physical consequences for doing this when it's above, like, 65F or 18C.
aestivation. they should let me aestivate. in the manner of certain tortoises.
we dont talk about cabbage enough. everyone take my hand let's all get really into cabbage. let's all sit in a big circle and study Korean cuisine for a while and get really into cabbage. we can do sauerkraut too. surely everyone in the world has something exciting to teach us about what to do with cabbage. OK? come on its time for cabbage
Grace explaining sheepishly to Eridian linguists that the reason he uses different pronouns for Rocky than for the rest of the population is that he reflexively defaulted to assigning Rocky the same grammatical and social gender that he himself uses, in a way that has historical precedent but in modern English is considered somewhat chauvinistic and backward, and he's not proud of it but also the habit is pretty deeply ingrained now and unless Rocky objects it's probably easier to just keep on as he has been...
and immediately being informed lol. lmao. do not even worry about it. you have no idea what kind of buck wild grammatical constructs Rocky has invented for you. everyone else addresses you as foreigner/scholar. they're somehow managing to refer to you as their sibling, ward, and semidivine culture hero at the same time every time they talk about you.
A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.
#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus
I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious
A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)
Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.
DNI if you've ever:
Been to Greenland
Been to Denver
Buried treasure in St. Louis (or St. Paul for that matter)
Been to Moscow
Been to Tampa
Been to Boston (only if you went during the fall, though)
Hoisted a mainstay
Swabbed a poop deck
Veered to starboard
You know what just DNI if you've ever sailed at all
Walked a gangplank
Owned a parrot (I shouldn't have to explain this one)
Been to Boston in the fall (cannot overstate this)
Okay, but what if I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at ping-pong, and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall, and I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice, and I've never been to Boston in the fall?
You're safe

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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this sculpture is from 2011 by artist sara swink
cats have been bothering humans since at least 2011
Really glad predictive text exists. Should i bring my own parking lot
a roasted brussel sprout can change your life if you let it. open your heart. take my hand. its good, try it. i love a brusseled sprout I love you
the Madeline cartoons were crazy. I almost always watched them while I was sick and feverish but the plots were like
“Madeline adopts a dog”
“Madeline deals with her prankster frenemy neighbor”
“Madeline learns how to ice skate”
“Madeline is adopted by her long-lost uncle who turns out to be an actor hired by the owner of a lace factory who has a workforce of enslaved orphans forced to make lace out of their own hair until they go blind who kidnapped Madeline to steal her inheritance and to use her red hair to make extra-valuable lace”
“Madeline helps a farmer befriend a horse”
okay i know we normally do this with more pop-focused festivals but i wanna see how many metalheads are on this site: how many groups do you recognize?
0
1-10
11-20
21-30
31-40
51-50
51-60
61-70
71-80
81-90
91-100
100+
(i recognized 64)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
used to think it terribly silly (and kinda funny) when fantasy or sci-fi stories would have people refer to major recent historical events as The Flood or The Incident or The Revolution, and im sure historians fucking hate that because it's not helpful or descriptive, but we sure do be calling it The Pandemic
Story Time:
Working in retail is really fun, and the times when major fuck-ups happen, they can be either anxiety-attack inducing, or make it possible to get through the rest of your god-awful shift with a smile depending on the customer. My all-time favorite absolute fuck-up is as follows:
This kind woman is just doing her thing. She scans her membership card from her keychain. The register beeps to acknowledge the scan. We continue as usual. Neither of us notice right away, but after I’ve scanned a few more items, I hear a very quiet, “Um,” from the lady, very polite. I look at her. She is looking at the screen of my register, blinking. I, too, look.
And lo and behold. There is a charge of over four-thousand dollars ($4,000) worth of garlic bread staring us in the face. There are no words for a minute. We’re just… in awe. How did this happen? How the hell did this happen?
She didn’t even have garlic bread in her cart.
I sputter a partial apology - I was incapable of forming actual sentences in the moment - and try to void the garlic bread. Since there was no garlic bread to scan, I try to manually remove $4,000-some from this transaction.
Well, the registers don’t like it when you try to void off more than five dollars ($5) from a transaction, so naturally it pings my manager for confirmation, but she’s not by her pager.
At this point, both myself and the lady are just… dumbfounded. She’s not even mad. I’m not even all that embarrassed. Both of us are just looking at the screen. There’s a bit of laughter, but it’s mostly just… confusion.
I have to call through the whole store for my manager on the intercom because she’s not answering. She shows up, ready to override and void it, when she too, sees what exactly is being voided.
“What… did you do?”
“I genuinely. Have literally. No. Idea.”
She voids it, and I go to finish the transaction and tell the woman her total (minus the garlic bread). My register pings. It tells me that she hasn’t scanned her membership card. Odd. I distinctly remember her doing that. The woman goes to scan her card again, and I notice that her library card is stuck to her membership card. I tell her gently, and she separates the two and scans her card.
My manager, hovering nearby still, sees this and says, “I think it mistook the barcode of her other card for garlic bread, and the remaining digits were read as the price.”
And that’s when the laughter really came over us. There were no hard feelings at all. In fact, the woman was incredibly glad that the receipt still showed the garlic bread and the voiding of. I will remember it until the end of time, my only regret in the entire situation being that I didn’t take a damn picture, because she has proof and I don’t. But I swear to God it happened.
TDLR; Library Card Charged $4,000 of Garlic Bread.
that’s just how valuable library cards are. each one is worth at least $4000 of garlic bread
A picture is worth a thousand words, a library card is worth $4000 worth of garlic bread, if we can figure out how many words the average library card can check out at once, we can probably work out a picture-to-garlic bread conversion here, too.