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@merrilywewritealong
Millions of Years of Immutable Evolutionary Law: “Cats shall have litters of many offspring at one time. Some will be weak or stricken with disease--they will perish to allow the stronger siblings to escape, and to satiate other predators in order to reduce competition and encourage the existence of more capable adults.”
Human Beings:
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Joel Coen’s “Tragedy of Macbeth” reviewed by Ethan Coen
Have watched this so many times I’m obsessedt
Finished season one of Leverage. Starting season two. I love how Nate keeps trying to be like “and now the job is done and our time together is—” and everyone else is like “our time together is now free for movie nights, I agree.” Nate’s determined this won’t be a found family and the rest are like please daddy may we do some moral crime
He thinks he’s the adult in the room but he’s actually the toddler who keeps getting tricked into eating vegetables, and the vegetables are major financial crime
im screaming i love her sm omg
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smh finds themselves in a murder on the orient express style murder mystery but instead its on a bus on a roadie and someone ate a pie bitty brought for later. it’s dramatic as it sounds. lardo is poirot
its been 6 months and im still not over this. easily best and most hilarious play in baseball history
for those who dont really understand:
-the first baseman had no reason to chase Baéz, if he just stepped on the bag he was automatically out
-theres two outs, so if hes out, the inning is over. even if the runner on second base gets home, the run doesnt count. its not until hes safe at first that the run scores
-theres no specific rule in baseball about running backwards from first, just that you “cannot retreat to home base” meaning so long as if you dont touch the plate, its fine
-Baéz ran backwards to kill enough to get the run to score, and then stole and extra base on the base on the bad throw
-HE TOOK THE TIME TO UMPIRE HIS OWN PLAY AND CALL SAFE
what a fucking sport yall
@fractaldunes
Javier Baéz’s nickname according to those announcers is El Mago which is spanish for The Wizard
Well earned
love how the explanations do not help at all
thinking about possibly my favorite line from anything ever i owe seamus heaney my life
history says don't hope on this side of the grave but then once in a lifetime the longed-for tidal wave of justice can rise up and hope and history rhyme. so hope for a great sea-change on the far side of revenge. believe that a further shore is reachable from here
the range
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screaming crying throwing up
this tik tok has me in fucking tears
If you're at my funeral and you think it's a little boring, just spice it up. Drink a little too much. Flirt with a few people here and there. Start a fight. It's what I would've wanted
@tiefling-queer CORRECT
JackHoltz AU they booked a couples cooking class on a whim and are still stubbornly going despite having been broken up for months because A. the instructor’s short & competent & therefore very hot so Jack’s into him and Holster’s a good wingman (ha) and B. there’s another guy taking the course, except his girlfriend has mysteriously stopped showing up, and Holster desperately wants to oh sorry accidentally brush fingers as they reach for the last bottle of olive oil
#exes who wingman each other is a very funny dynamic#Holster: hey I need some help over here my burner’s too warm#Bitty: oh! Okay let’s get that checked out#Holster: oh jk. It’s just Jack ;) but while you’re here you could check him out#Bitty (internally): are they. looking for another chef in the kitchen or—#meanwhile Jack: my ex wants to crack your eggs for you#Rans: is that an innuendo or ?#Jack: one would hope so
The New Yorker Daily Cartoon: Wednesday, December 8th by me!
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“Two dumbasses and the voice of reason” is a fun relationship dynamic, but also consider:
(based off x)
cousin Greg on the titanic: so, uh, tom, in terms of the uh, the lifeboat situation? yeah, so they’re uh, they’re really, at this, know, current point in time, mostly for the women and children... no, tom, yes, I told them that, and they said—but, like, look, the water’s not that far down and—well, uh, I don’t have? The greatest bone density..? So if I broke your fall I am afraid that’s going to like, shatter me like an old china teacup?
