Team Canada's International games in 2026 weren't real and thus cannot hurt me and lalalalalalalalallalalalala I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER MY DENNIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL

Crosby taking assisting a little too seriously. He knows he can shoot the puck not just pass it, right?? It feels like either a deliberate play by the coach or by Sid because he's not usually so hands off giving the goal hell.

Crosby hears that Tkafuck is gunning for the Triple Gold Club and was absolutely not fucking having it. Turning up in Switerland with his own C in his pocket and a pair of skates.

And now the Oilers. Only that breaks me more than Crosby's stoic loss face is McDavid's distraught loss face

Those were the Penguins. Finally forcing the Phuckers to play actual hockey instead of dirty hits after dirty hit. G4 was a nail biting delight and now at nearly 5am I go to bed thrilled with life in general.