ΧΑΙΡΕΤΕ Ω ΞΕΝΟΙ

found a rock in the kitchen and as I was about to throw it in the trash I thought "wait this is cruel I should let it outside" as if it was a living thing

I let it outside

their barbarous mass tourism vs my enlightened brief cultural visits

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

Apparently because you have no idea how to care for anything but a dog

Daddy is not known for his animal husbandry

they should make a new type of like button called the sad like for when your mutual is suffering agonies

Devastating! Art museum gift shop doesn’t sell prints of specific and unpopular painting that struck a cord with you!

Pobody's nerfect except me. I'm nerfect…

eighteen inch nails: i want to fuck you like two animals

have one seasoned cat owner with a spray bottle set to sniper at the ready and I think we could potentially eradicate bad theater etiquette

pay me and I will stand in your movie theater and snipe every screen-addicted yapper in the eyes with water

Usually when the electrician goes 'hey.... there's something you should see' it's because someone set up shoddy wiring. This time it was because he pulled two snakes out of my wall