ΧΑΙΡΕΤΕ Ω ΞΕΝΟΙ

eighteen inch nails: i want to fuck you like two animals

have one seasoned cat owner with a spray bottle set to sniper at the ready and I think we could potentially eradicate bad theater etiquette

pay me and I will stand in your movie theater and snipe every screen-addicted yapper in the eyes with water

Usually when the electrician goes 'hey.... there's something you should see' it's because someone set up shoddy wiring. This time it was because he pulled two snakes out of my wall

people act like this college shit is hard but i used AI to generate me a medical license and have bee ndoing surgery on newborns for 6 months

you need to find out what you are a goblin for, it will give your life purpose

…now that I’ve turned you into a goblin

I just love barking so I really couldn’t give a fuck if this is the right tree or not haha

Honestly if I knew it was my last day in the time loop I think I’d get kinda sad and nostalgic about it

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

Made the worst brownies ever created just now