ΧΑΙΡΕΤΕ Ω ΞΕΝΟΙ

you need to find out what you are a goblin for, it will give your life purpose

…now that I’ve turned you into a goblin

I just love barking so I really couldn’t give a fuck if this is the right tree or not haha

Honestly if I knew it was my last day in the time loop I think I’d get kinda sad and nostalgic about it

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

Made the worst brownies ever created just now

I bet raising your arm and summoning a weapon for you to grasp feels good as fuck

I know that “fwiw” means “for what it’s worth.” I know that. But every time I read it, my brain translates it to “fwom what I wemembew”

cracking myself up thinking about the movement towards simplified forms in cave paintings

locusts are SO fucked up. imagine if your apartment complex got too crowded during a drought so everyone in it started overproducing serotonin until they gained 100lb of pure muscle and then chewed through the drywall of every building in the neighborhood

they do this over in philly

It seems like we're just feeding characters to Miss Piggy at this point

driving my chevy to the levee today

what the fuck