ΧΑΙΡΕΤΕ Ω ΞΕΝΟΙ

Every photo of Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan together looks like a a respectable mafia boss father named Giovanni and his weird son who bites sometimes

me about to tell the waiter i'd like some dubious consent with my order when i realise that they've already added it without asking me first

meows loud as fuck shattering all glass within 3 miles no survivors

sometimes you invent mind prisons for yourself for no good reason and youre like "i really like being in the mind prison" even though you dont actually like being in the mind prison

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

you can't get out that way!

that's not very helpful.

maybe the open window will help.

try the open window instead.

it's a fool's errand but I was already out for bread and milk

found a rock in the kitchen and as I was about to throw it in the trash I thought "wait this is cruel I should let it outside" as if it was a living thing

I let it outside

their barbarous mass tourism vs my enlightened brief cultural visits

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

Apparently because you have no idea how to care for anything but a dog

Daddy is not known for his animal husbandry

they should make a new type of like button called the sad like for when your mutual is suffering agonies