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goddamn I think so much about paragraph breaks. I get annoyed when I like everything about what I'm writing except for the physical way I divide those words into sections.
Sometimes the only difference between a sentence being just a sentence versus being a punchline or a gut punch in how you group it with other sentences. Which is cool. However. Also deeply stressful. Like much of writing.
also while yes vaelus did say once pushed to that she was looking to bring back sylandri, so that's not something we can completely disregard when it comes to her goals, the more we see her character and her relationships with thaisha and hannan develop, the more i believe that her wanting resurrection to exist does not center around sylandri at all
"it's easier when you have a whole thing" says this kid you just met who defied all laws of reality as you know them and breathed not just life but personality back into a fox he made from scraps of various foxes
"could you do it with a whole body?" you ask in return. if it's easier to perform miracles when your subject isn't in pieces, then maybe all you have to do is get him the bodies
and we still don't know what happened to the bodies of the gods in this world, if they even left any at all
but there's probably a lot of dead elves whose bodies you know exactly where to find
@trailertrashgrog oh that's an interesting thought!
and would make a lot of sense honestly, given how much we've seen sylandri cultivate that kind of learned helplessness - she doesn't want you all to have independence outside of her so she's going to engineer your life such that everything has to rely on her, and then you forget that it's even possible to do things without her help (which is exactly what hannan was fighting against)
and therefore it's ingrained in vaelus that if she's going to bring back the elves she lost she also has to bring back sylandri, because they literally can't live without her
(and man that fits so well into being parallel theming with thaisha, like. the shapers did not make this world, there were people on it before they got here. and just like the old path is trying to rediscover the old pre-shapers ways to keep surviving, with thaisha acknowledging history is important but also breaking away somewhat because she knows they need new solutions for a new world, not just old ones, there might be a similar debate at some point about how did we live before sylandri, and how might we live in the future)
it's so funny that Groto got promoted to lieutenant of the arcane marshals specifically because House Einfasen thought his oracular abilities will prove useful in the future. poor guy literally got gaslit into a promotion. they're gonna be bringing him to crime scenes and expecting him to be able to do his crime-o-vision and unless Azune and the schemers keep fucking with his head, he's just gonna have to stand there like "uhhh..."
[ID: A digital drawing of Kattigan Vale from Critical Role. He's grinning, saying "Oh-ho-ho getting tense!" and cracking open a can. A little doodle to the side of Occtis and Julien looking angry with each other is labelled "posh boys bickering". End description.]
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“It’s already so bad. They could have said all normal stuff, and the way she touched her face—” Demodus broke off with a horrified gasp. “Oh, shit! The head! I forgot about the head! Where is it?!”
Julien Davinos is part kettle-hob/grig, but his “nice” head has been stuffed in a closet in the Palazzo Davinos since the Falconer’s Rebellion. Now, the Tachonises have taken the Palazzo, and Julien has no idea what they might do to or with his head of blooms. Fortunately, someone else has actually managed to find it first…
Scenes of (mostly) the Seekers and Schemers coping with the ramifications of Julien’s second head. Currently follows the campaign canon as it unfolds with scenes occurring around canonical events or modified canon events, plus some flashbacks to Julien’s backstory.
Ch. 6: The Point of Thorns
Young Julien and his great-aunt discuss why grigs exist. Present-day Julien learns the fate of his head of blooms, has a moment with Thimble, and regrets visiting the most fucked-up “paint company” on the face of Araman.
I’ve said it in passing because I didn’t think it needed to be emphasized, but I’ve seen enough posts now that miss it, so I want to emphasize it now:
Murray (a) agreed and allowed Azune to ask Demodus for help, (b) accepted Demodus’s decision, and (c) went with them to the presentation.
She did it! 🎉
The turmoil is a significant part of developing her character, and people have rightfully pointed out that Murray was making a lot of statements based on unexamined biases, but the result is that she still decided against those instincts. No one forced her to. She made that choice.
Murray wants this to be simpler. She wants to be able to move this resistance forward without involving people like Demodus. She wants there to be a set of people who have to pay the costs and take risks while everyone else gets to be safe. She’s even fine with being part of that set! And she isn’t the only one who wants specific people to be safe! Hal wanted that too, it’s not even unique.
The issue is that’s what Thjazi did, and it failed. You cannot create a class of tainted people who bear the burden of change while the innocent people get to be protected. The Firefly of it all!
And Murray knows that. Marisha said as much that Murray knows that Azune is right. But Murray is wrestling within herself about how to achieve these goals without it spilling onto people who didn’t ask for this. She doesn’t want to be the one to do that. It feels horrible. She even deflected to Azune in the conversation, and it was clearly at a time where the stress overwhelmed her. She’s normally so confident and sure of herself, and we saw what strips that away from her: the fear that she’s sending someone who she believes should be protected to his death.
It makes total sense why she snaps at Azune so many times, and it makes sense why Azune doesn’t snap back. He isn’t sure if it’s what he’s afraid of (she hates me because of where I’m undercover), or if she’s stressed the fuck out (and it’s exploding out of her in moments of vulnerability), or or something else, or a mix. But they’re struggling through it together, and they get to the same place: they ask Demodus for help, he agrees, and the three go together and risk their lives.
The story is that she did it! It felt awful every step of the way, but she did it!
The point of it isn’t that Murray did something wrong: it’s that she was in a position where every preference was pointing her in one direction, she knew that following it would weaken their position and put Azune at greater risk, and in the end made the decision that meant their efforts were most likely to succeed. This could have just as easily gone the other direction: a Nat 1 is precisely as likely as a Nat 20, and Murray doesn’t know there’s dice being rolled, but she implicitly understands the nature of chance. She had portents to use, but they were not necessarily going to help in this instance. Sometimes the universe isn’t in your favor, and for all her power and intelligence, she can’t always force it.
So of course she was afraid. And she did what she told Azune to do: suck it up and do the job.
I see your “Rocky swears like a sailor but only in pitches humans can’t hear/refuses to teach Grace what those words mean” and raise you “Rocky swears like a sailor and now has to explain to Grace that ‘bad bad bad’ isn’t actually a sequence you play on your Eridian speech piano in polite company.”
Grace is both horrified and amused to realise that a more accurate translation for what Rocky’s been saying is “shit shit shit”.
Grace: "Huh? Rocky, are you switching languages on me? I don't know any of those words! Please, I'm trying to make a good impression on your people!"
Rocky, in dawning horror, realizes he can either 1) continue speaking polite, non-swearing Eridian and have Grace not understand his warnings or 2) he can repeat his instruction in the language Grace will understand, and every Eridian in earshot will understand exactly where the alien learned his potty mouth.
“It's already so bad. They could have said all normal stuff, and the way she touched her face—” Demodus broke off with a horrified gasp. “Oh, shit! The head! I forgot about the head! Where is it?!”
Julien Davinos is part kettle-hob/grig, but his "nice" head has been stuffed in a closet in the Palazzo Davinos since the Falconer's Rebellion. Now, the Tachonises have taken the Palazzo, and Julien has no idea what they might do to or with his head of blooms. Fortunately, someone else has actually managed to find it first…
Scenes of (mostly) the Seekers and Schemers coping with the ramifications of Julien's second head. Currently follows the campaign canon as it unfolds with scenes occurring around canonical events or modified canon events, plus some flashbacks to Julien's backstory.
Ch. 6: The Point of Thorns
Young Julien and his great-aunt discuss why grigs exist. Present-day Julien learns the fate of his head of blooms, has a moment with Thimble, and regrets visiting the most fucked-up "paint company" on the face of Araman.
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As requested (albeit several months late) I have finally put together a video on my gauffering process!
Please take this video with a grain of salt– I am a complete beginner, and this method is far from traditional. It is simply what I was able to accomplish at my current skill level with the materials I had on hand.
For more in depth videos on sanding and edge painting, please check out @duran-binding and @copticcowgirl . They taught me everything I know!
There is so little instructional information about gauffering available online, particularly with budget materials. The amount of trial and error it took to establish a method that yielded fairly consistent results was frankly maddening, so I sincerely hope that this look into my process is useful to someone.
honestly the talk vaelus had with hannan not only made her motivation for continuing to be with the group click a lot more for me than before. but it recontextualized her bond with thaisha as well. thaisha who has such steady and strong convictions of her beliefs, and recently gone against her circle's rule (by not letting occtis go through the path) because she listened to her instincts. who now delayed a hearing with her circle (the letter) and chose what she believes is best and more important for the greater good. we have vaelus who has already pre campaign having doubts about her own faith and struggling in stasis, meets this woman who while staying true to her core beliefs forges her own path forward. only a conversation with hannan could've brought that out of her but i'm so curious now to see where that goes.
Week days should only be around 4 hours because that's how many I can be at work without wanting to scream, and then weekends should be 145 hours I can fully dedicate to my gazillion hobbies as well as hanging out with friends
I've been meaning to make a post talking about my stroke because y'all got bits and pieces of the recovery but I never actually told the story of HOW it went down and the thing is the type of stroke I had is usually the type young people have and since having mine i've now heard multiple stories of people under 40 having very similar strokes and the scary thing is, is that they didn't get help right away. Because you're young and healthy and sure you feel weird but it'll pass right? but it doesn't, and it gets worse, and by the time you get to the hospital (some people literally take days to go) the deficits are worse and recovery is harder.
so here's a super long post about strokes in general, and mine in particular/what I went through.
So for strokes the signs are abbreviated BE FAST. Balance loss, Eyesight changes, Face drooping, Arm weakness, Speech difficulty, -> Time to call 911.
Had I known those MAYBE I would have figured it out but my symptoms were a little mixed. I was reading (fanfic!) in bed because it was a sunday morning and i had nothing pressing to do and suddenly got dizzy. I put my laptop aside because my eyes were blurring (Eyesight changes - symptom #1), and laid down, thinking it would pass, it didn't, it's a little vague how it progressed because I'd been having headaches and neckpain for about 3 weeks leading up to it so I was like 'idk is this a migraine?' (headaches can be a stroke symptom so symptom #2) but i got nauseous and eventually got up and to my utmost surprise I immediately fell over as if I was the drunkest of frat bros. The room literally spun before my eyes as I fell to the floor (Balance loss - symptom #3). I have had some Nights and I had never been that unsteady before. I crawled my way to the bathroom, threw up (nausea - not a common stroke symptom) , took 800mg of ibuprofen, and crawled back to bed.
if you know anything about ibuprofen you might know it's a mild blood thinner and that's a high dose. I may have inadvertently helped myself with that one. I was just feeling like shit and thinking 'idk this might help'
At this point I still thought we were still in Normal Land. Sure, it was a weird morning, but Surely There Was A Reason. (Yes There Was) Anyway, as I'm lying there willing my body to stop suffering I realize my arm is going numb (stroke symptom #4) and I switch positions, because weird, but it doesn't go away, and I gave it a good little while. I'm on a medication that can make my limbs tingle but it usually just does it to my fingers and it dissipates quickly but this wasn't dissipating, and then I realized one of my legs was also going numb. Then one side of my face is going numb.
(at the time I did not look in the mirror but I had a drooping eyelid - symptom #5)
Those all seem bad. I grab my computer and google 'when to go to the hospital for dizzyness' as that felt like the worst of my problems. and indeed the list I found highlighted that if you are also experiencing loss of balance, blurred vision, nausea, and limb numbness, you should see a doctor. That seems like far too many symptoms to be having all to be listed. I grab my phone (thankfully plugged in and by my bed), and start layering on more clothing because it's about 10 degrees out and i'm in a pajama dress. The very nice man at 911 talks with me and sends an ambulance, I tell him I don't think I can get out the front door of my building on my own and he asks if I can get to MY apartment door to which I say yes and he assures me that's fine they will have keys to my building.
(I have been since informed they love to chop down doors but no, I could get that far)
I wait by my door laying down on the ground and they arrive pretty quickly. They see to me in the hallway, which is more of a lobby in my building and the only place with room for me to lie down (I cannot stand unassisted at this point) they ask me a bunch of questions, take vitals, and ask me where I would like to be taken. Me, having never had to go to the fucking hospital in an emergency before, simply go 'wherever is close' because I again, I am having a stroke and do not have the wherewithal to think through these things.
A big firefighter helps me down the stairs (it's only a half flight and I still almost did not make it) and we get underway.
At the hospital they wheel me into triage and I mostly lie there gratefully and answer some questions and respond to some tests (grip strength, following a pen with my eyes, that sort of thing) and then I hear what is great when you've been at urgent care for two hours but what is Very Bad when you just arrived in an ambulance and that's 'She's next'. I jumped the line for a CT scan and an MRI. I was there less than ten minutes before I was actively being scanned. honestly closer to five.
my active symptoms seem to have been worse than some of the stories I've heard, not being able to walk AT ALL in particular, although some other are pretty equal (Footless Jo on youtube had a stroke around the same time I did of the same type and has discussed hers, she delayed going in despite the severity for a variety of reasons and it sounds like her recovery has been difficult) My recovery was pretty easy because i was actively being cared for and on blood thinners right away. I was pretty out of it in the beginning, but I was only in the hospital for 6 days and then in a rehab for another 4 to relearn how to walk and balance, then i was released unto the world and just spent time going to physical therapy and recovering for awhile. I was out of work for about 8 weeks total. I basically had the best outcome for a stroke. I recovered almost fully back to 100% (I'm about 2% less sure footed than I used to be, but it's rarely noticeable), my face still feels a little weird but has markedly improved so I live in hope it will eventually get back to normal. It massively sucked. But strokes can fuck you up for life and I came out a weird medical story to tell and have to take some extra medication now/precautions to take (i cannot do certain types of yoga, no weightlifting, no push ups, no going on rollercoasters.... things that could strain my neck essentially) but overall I escaped very lucky.
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Thinking about how Thjazi not breaking the glyph was a snap decision. He didn't plan his own execution in advance as part of a masterstroke play, based on how he was joking with Hal he clearly expected to escape using the glyph. And then he saw that falcon, presumably Mara the Wing. Others have mentioned that he likely chose to die because what he was doing with the blood from the River Gavzidra required someone be in the Tenebral Reaches, and him seeing Mara signaled to him that her passage had been blocked, and he realized he had an express if one way ticket to exactly where his plans needed someone to be. So Thjazi chose to allow his own execution to proceed, and rushed out his last words to Hal in the scant few seconds he had. Circumstances very suddenly required him to willingly sacrifice himself for his cause, and he made that choice very decisively even as he was clearly scared to die. Thjazi was certainly a lot of things, but one of those things was that he was a man who was willing to give up everything if it meant living out his ideals.
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