Musings of Me

still thinking about pillion #SORRY but god i love that we get NOTHING about ray. obviously this is because colin himself has absolutely no idea of who he is outside their arrangement but even then the film is just as cagey about him as ray himself is. we get glimpses of something but it is not nearly enough to form a solid opinion of him. EXCEPT!!! on their day off, when he decides to drop the persona & you can tell it is excruciating for him at first & hes floundering BAD but then!!! but then he starts to loosen up & hes. goofy & playful & funny & perhaps a little ridiculous but its incredibly endearing to see because until that moment hes been nothing but an emotionally unavailable asshole & the movie takes the time to show thats not All he is. it might not matter in the grand scheme of things but its important for the movie to let us know that ray is still Just Some Guy. & then when they share perhaps the first real moment of actual intimacy outside of the roles theyve casted on themselves & suddenly ray looks haunted its just. oh something happened here. something happened here that made you act the way you do & you have never bothered looking at it directly & now its come to bite you in the ass. & you can tell even before colin does that hes gonna bolt, that he has been disarmed & hes terrified & his solution to it is gonna be to run away. which he does. & we do not know him any more than we did when the movie started except we kinda do, dont we?

also i love how the bike provides a sort of liminal space in which colin can hold and cuddle ray even thought that would be thoroughly violating the unspoken rules of the relationship in any other context

I’m thankful for Pillion for coming out on the heels of Fifty shades and Babygirl. “what if women…. Found power in letting men have power over them. And those men know what a clitoris is😳” what if submission was a double edged sword that could both make you feel seen and loved but also broke down your spirit and independence. what if your desiring submission was something that was taken advantage of by a man with greater power than you. what if you wanted him to. what if it’s the greatest sexual pleasure you’ve ever had. what if that had a profound lasting effect on you that cannot be measured as entirely positive or negative and the only thing that’s certain is that it’s changed you and how you navigate the world and relationships forever

Think whatever you want about Pillion but getting railed by your nordic sex god dom in the middle of the English countryside on a warm spring day on your birthday must be the closest a human being can get to Heaven, I'm just saying

First half of Pillion is ultimate submission fantasy that says: what if a hot biker dom picks you up in a bar, you're really bad at sex but he likes that and gets you to do household tasks in a way that is sexually fullfilling. Second half of pillion is everyone around you saying your sexy biker dom is insane and bad at bdsm but you think you can fix him. Last 5 minutes of Pillion is the heartbreaking realization you can have both submission and agency and you can love someone who is bad for you

Draw Link with his new haircut cowards

With Anthony Stewart Head passing away, worth remembering one of my favorite stories about him.