SynthdroidZiro

Cue Brucie being the most overprotective parent ever.

He insists Dick is scared of heights. Dick will be swinging on a chandelier, showing off his skills while Brucie is running in circles under him, with his arms out, screaming "don't worry, baby! Daddy will catch you!". He's clinging Dick to his chest, whispering reassurances to him, while Dick is smiling, soaking up all the praise.

Pretty soon the adults are telling Dick off, "you're gonna give your father a heart attack one of these days".

Bruce outs Clark as Superman while Clark is interviewing him and Lex. "I don't know why you two can't get along like you are now 😔 Superman, maybe Lex just wants to spend time with you 🤔 And Lex, babe, the robots are cool and all but you can't like throw them at Superman 😶 That's not how you make friends." Lex tells Bruce to stop, rolling his eyes. Bruce goes on a rant about how the butts match etc. Clark is literally sat so still, trying not to move.

Lex yelling at Bruce when he pretends to not have overheard a conversation Lex was having with an arms dealer in Korean and Lex is all "you speak fourteen languages, Bruce" and you got Bruce who is near tears over this because he only speaks two? "I only speak American and English 😭😭"

Bruce giggling at some charity quiz show panel between Ollie and Lex, because he's so sorry but he doesn't know any countries? Like what are they??? Lex is screaming at him while Ollie hits the button so confidently going "Las Vegas".

Bruce sitting next to Lex on a plane (they're economising for PR) and he's fucking reading a book that's upside down???

He explains how he became the Dark Knight, explains the eccentricities and little aspects that went into crafting the perfect dumbass public facade of Brucie who is convinced Batman is a myth created to scare criminals and doesn't really exist as anything more than a hallucination from Fear Toxin polluting the water, how he used several throwaway social media accounts to anonymously spread ridiculous conspiracy theories of himself in both identifies being the same person because "the butts match" and such so people would debunk it with his public idiocy as Brucie being at odds with the World's Greatest Detective, and even how he managed to fund his escapades as a hero and even the Watchtower itself though Wayne Enterprises and several shell companies.

He also shows Lex the Batcave and all his gadgets and suits, just to rub it all in to his bald face...

Why? What do you gain from telling me this?

Because NOBODY, that doesn't already know at least, will ever believe Luthor.

Because Bruce has already triple checked, and kept both Oracle and Red Robin on standby, to make sure regardless of whatever devices Lex had on him... He wouldn't walk out those doors with any real tangible evidence, and wouldn't be able to legally prove it either.

Because it'll piss Luthor off to no end, and if he does try to expose Bruce....

At best, Lex suffers from public humiliation and bad PR for a ridiculous claim and people on the Internet bringing up Bruce's own conspiracies in jest, probably thinking those were Lex's alt accounts...

And at worst, if he somehow got some solid evidence past the Batfamily and does tear down the Brucie persona, then he'll just be enabling Bruce to cast aside a public identity altogether so he can now be free to Batman 24/7 without any interference from running Wayne Enterprises... And will be ABSOLUTELY SURE to make it LEX'S problem alongside the problem of every Gotham rogue who is in the know that Lex would no doubt piss off if they find out it was his fault.

Visiting the Bat-Cave pt.2

Because if Maxwell from Scribblenauts can qualify for one, Timmy can get one too.

This took so long, my first time drawing bruce soo yeaah. also sorry for like reusing the peter drawing i am LAZYYY

Tony may not be aware of this…

Spidey Super Stories #40

Amazing Spider-Man #106

Amazing Spider-Man #107

Tony may not be aware of this…

Spidey Super Stories #40

Amazing Spider-Man #106

Amazing Spider-Man #107

"Oh hang on I haven't even gotten to the best part yet. So it all starts in 20XX where two scientists basically became divorced exes and-"

"AHHHHHHHH!! GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!! STAY AWAY FROM ME!!"

Meanwhile the entire time your ADHD/Autistic ass is just looking at them like this.

And when I say they’re bad, like, holy shit, they are really bad. For two people who often have to save the universe with their intelligence, concentration, and ability to effectuate incredibly complex, precision-reliant plans, they are both somehow really, really fucking awful at golf of all things.

Bruce, at least, has the Brucie Wayne disguise to hide how absolutely awful he is at golf. Which totally works for him, because he hates the reminder that he is inherently terrible at something. So, whenever he’s dragged out for a round with Lucius and the WE board members, he just pretends to get super drunk, act a little more clumsy then normal, and hits on the caddy until everyone just writes him off as too much of an ditz to put any effort into his golf swing. It drives Lucius nuts, because he actually likes golf and he thinks Bruce is just pretending to be bad as part of his cover for Batman—there is at least one occasion where he asks Bruce to show a little more decorum on the course and actually try to play, and Bruce just… blue screens. Because in reality he is actually horrible at golf and he needs the excuse of “dumbass Brucie Wayne” or his ego will implode.

Tim, however. Poor Tim.

Tim, unfortunately does not get to play the idiot to cover up his absolute shit golf game. (There is only so much room in the family for idiots and he has to keep up appearances as Jack and Janet Drake’s son.) As such, he avoids any and all golf courses as much as possible—but everyone once in a while there’s a potential merger or business deal he needs to discuss with someone important, and the best way to get the deal done is on a golf course. So Tim has to spend the next three and a half hours of his life torturing himself through a round of golf. (He ends up losing twelve balls, taking seven swings on a Par 3, somehow broke his putter, and tripped into a bunker.) The only upside is that his pure determination to actually finish the round, despite how godawful he is, is usually what actually convinces the investors/partner/board members agree to work out a deal with him.

But there’s a big difference between calculating the perfect batarang throw in a split second with state of the art metal working and figuring out just how hard you have to hit a little ball with a long stick (not to mention picking the right stick from your stick collection).

Tim tried to warn him that Bruce was genuinely that bad and hates it, that it wasn't part of the act, and Lucius got his wish seeing it firsthand after Bruce performed WORSE than he did when intoxicated on alcohol.

He could see the dark knight genuinely consider faking a slip by a pond and faking his death, only to be stopped by Tim out of spite because Tim is NOT letting Bruce escape to leave Drake to pick up the slack again! (And then also began to argue that the Golf Cart is a more effective method of getting into the lake if you drive recklessly enough and could take them both for the opportunity to escape)

I underestimated how much I was gonna make, so now *Masterlist* Starts below cut

A Bat would get a concussion and at least know what it was, probably also try to power through it.

But? Uh oh!

Who is this lost, bedraggled, upset looking youth?

Flying in Metropolitan air space?

Clark better put on both his Dad AND Superman pants and make sure he's oka-*WHAM* Mmmmm plurble! Tasting colors. He's okaaay! 👍🏻

Danny, however, is NOT. Because, oh god. Oh GOD! He just PUNCHED SUPERMAN! That's like punching a cop, your dad, AND a priest at the SAME TIME!!! He's going to SUPER HELL JAIL. On TOP of everything else! He's gonna cry!

But he's still being ACTIVELY being chased and he can't just LEAVE the guy with... a concussion? It seems kinda like a concussion. OH GOD, HOW HARD DID HE PUNCH HIM!?

Then?

Then!?

SuperBOY is there.

You know, SuperMAN's SON? Small child? The baby Kryptonian? Who just saw him PUNCH HIS DAD! Oh god, kid I can explain. I am so SO sorry, and-!

But THEN? Fuckers in White show up. Attack helicopters. Why. WHY do they have attack helicopters? HOW do they have attack helicopters?! Who the FUCK is okaying their BUDGET!? This is some Bruce Banner, chasing the Hulk, BULLSHIT!

He has no time to explain.

Because?

If it flies? It's a Ghost.

Open Fire.

Over a HEAVILY POPULATED CITY MID-DAY, WHILE HE'S HOLDING SUPERMAN. Because of COURSE they fucking do! When have they EVER cared about collateral damage! He... he doesn't know what anti-ecto rounds will DO to Kryptonian biology. Especially not a CHILDS.

He's not about to find out.

Boy under one arm, Man in fireman's carry over the other, Danny and the two Supers are OUT of there. At top speeds. Does he really have the energy to burn for this? No. But it's amazing what adrenaline can do, ain't it? Protection Obsession coming in clutch, pumping out fuel even as he burns it all away.

They end up half way across the country, phasing through trees to avoid CRASHING through them, as they make a VERY rough landing in some national park.

He thinks he might be crying. That or a head wound. Might be both. His face feels wet and he feels choked up, so could be a throat injury. Don't panic. Ignore the screaming fear in your brain and DONT PANIC. It can't help and just freezes you in place. Freezing gets you hurt. Might get someone KILLED.

He digs his hacked Fenton phone out of his torso. Still kneeling in the dirt. Hands shaking. He doesn't know what to do. But he knows who he can ASK at least. To help Superman. He may not be able to help himself... but... but he can HELP SUPERMAN. Fix this.

And? Look. Jon? Jon is a smart kid. He knows he is. Everyone always looks at him and Damian and thinks "oh, the grumpy one must be the smart one, that one must be the dumb sunshine-y one". As though THAT would ever fly! Damian would never tolerate him if he was dumb! For goodness sake, his PARENTS are award winning investigative journalists!

He just likes to be optimistic, is all. See the world for all the good in it.

And, yeah, at first? He was REALLY mad. This guy PUNCHED his dad for no reason. Hurt him. But? It was clearly an accident. And the longer Jon looks at him? The more messed up the guy looks. Bruises, scrapes, poorly bandaged injuries. Bags under his eyes. Shaking hands. And... well, he's crying. Pretty hard.

He didn't mean too. He really, really didn't. He just got startled. Was already on the run from the guys in suits. Didn't expect anyone else to BE up in the sky with him. Now he feels terrible. And Jon? Jon is pretty sure this guy isn't a bad guy.

Listens as he franticly calls some dude named "Frostbite" (ice powers, maybe?) and asks what to do. Tells him about punching his dad. Dad's symptoms. That he's a Kryptonian. The guy doesn't know what to do, obviously, but? What catches Jon of gaurd? Is... is apparently the guy DOES know someone who does?

He'son speaker, so the guy can check Jon's dad. "Elder Frostfang" is apparently the only one who studied in "that area" of "the Zone"? And this guy is some "great one". Lot of vague bits and clues. Jon's cautiously gonna say... alien, maybe? Half alien? Since he recognized Dad?

Mr. Frostfang talks him through checking symptoms. And... yyyyyep. Concussion. Ouch, he's heard those suck. Jon listens carefully to the care instructions. Frostfang talks like a doctor, so it's probably a good idea to follow them? Gonna double check when they get home though.

At least the dude who grabbed them is calmer now.

He thanks the doctors and gets off the line. Jon pipes up before he can put his weird phone away. Asks, politely of course, if he can call a friend of his dad. (Not "mom" in uniform. Never mom. That's the Rule. "Mom" is a mysterious unknown Kryptonian from space. Not award winning reporter Lois Lane.) So that people don't freak out.

Also hi! I'm Superboy!

The guy blinks, exhausted and frazzled. Before it kinda connects for him. His eyes widen and he practically fumbles the phone as he all but launches he at Jon. Yes! God yes! Holy SHIT, please! He is SO SORRY for grabbing Jon like that. His name is Phantom and he just didn't want to find out if Jon COULD get hurt by the specific type of weapons the Suit Guy's were using.

Makes sense, honestly. He'd do the same.

He calls his mom.

They've practiced this. "Hi Mrs. Lane! It's me, Superboy!" (Hi mom, I'm okay, I found a phone.) He runs through the script, casual as can be. Updates her on what going on. And when she asks? Hands her over to Phantom.

And Danny? Nervous. Tired. Wants to sleep for a thousand years but know he... he CANT stop moving. Isn't sure how he's gonna get Superman to his friends SAFELY. How he's gonna protect Superboy. If Superman's friends are gonna try and turn him in. He'll... He'll still go. Because Superman needs medical help, is hurt. But...

God, they're both so NICE? Everything that everybody says about the Super's is true. They really ARE nice people. You DO feel safe around them. Like they've been your friends for years. Like you want to be BETTER because of them, to prove they were RIGHT about you.

But... but Lois Lane? Holy SHIT. SHE? Is SCARY. Like, Sam's "I want to be HER when I grow up" alter of terrifying nightmare ladies, Scary. Respect at a distance. Like you would a very VERY big tiger. P-please don't eat me Mrs. Lane, I constitute a biohazard. I didn't mean to hit him.

She knows. She wants to know if he's okay and if he's currently safe. Tell her what's going on, kid.

And?

And there is something about the confidence, the "I can handle anything" coupled with the caring in her voice. That just... finally makes him break down. It's the voice of an authority figure, who actually gives a damn, who needs information so they can make things RIGHT. And... and he's been waiting... waiting so, SO long for that?

It all spills out. Not even just hitting Superman. EVERYTHING. All the things he's been wanting to tell someone but COULDN'T. Because he's just fourteen. Just fifteen. Just running and running and now sixteen. A kid. He wanted to be an astronaut, Mrs. Lane. Eat burgers and hang out with his friends.

He's scared.

It was an accident. (In the beginning and ever since. Isn't it ALWAYS?)

It takes a few tries, because Clark can't coordinate his limbs so good right now. But he manages to land a hand on the kids knee, gently squeeze. The world may be woozy and he may feel sick, but sobbing upset teenager needs a hug. Can't do NOTHING. Jon agrees. There are GOING to be hugs happening. Super hugs.

Mrs. Lane promises she's gonna fix "this". What IS this? Punching her... friend? College? Boyfriend? She's married but like... Tucker made a REALLY good case that they're a throuple. So who even knows. But, Punching Superman.

Is she gonna fix THAT... or... or like? Everything? How... how would that even WORK?

...

......

Well, with the Flash showing up, for starters.

He nearly punchs HIM too. Oh god, they're gonna think Ghosts ARE violent! He's attacking EVERYBODY! And not in the fun way! In the "kill you before you kill me!" Way!!! Danny might cry. Again. Today sucks SO MUCH.

But the Flash just? Moves out of the way. Cause of course he does. He's THE FLASH. He moves at The Flash Speed. The guy just keeps smiling and... and talking in that "hey, it's gonna be okay" voice that you use when you're pulling people out of wrecked buildings, and... and? He's never been on the RECEIVING end of it?

More Speedsters are here, to pick up the Supers. But the big guy is just... just focused on him? Talks in calm voice and shares an energy bar when he mentions his extreme metabolism. And... and please god don't let this be a trick. Because Danny has spent so long afraid, been so CERTAIN that the Justice League would side with the GIW and...

And they're NOT.

They're good people. Real, actual heroes. Older then him and know what they're doing and... and... God he's just so tired! He TRIED. He swears! But the threats kept getting bigger and the GIW showed up and his parents won't LISTEN! And... and his grades are in the toilet! And he knows! He KNOWS that shouldn't matter when LIVES are on the line, but it DOES! It... it does.

It's too much.

And? Barry tells him it's gonna be okay. Because they're here now. Because THIS? This IS their job. He did good. Held on. He was brave. And Barry is sorry he had to do that alone.

One super speed jog and a teleport later? They are where the GIW can officially kiss the League's collective asses. Space. American government has no jurisdiction HERE. There IS no extradition unless they say so. And the League says those laws are so far beyond unethical they bring new levels to the term "war crimes".

In FACT, they plan to say that publicly.

At a PRESS CONFERENCE.

But? In the mean time? This is the mess hall and THAT is a free bed. Pick an order of your choosing. Eat then pass out or pass out then eat. Just rest, kiddo. Let the adults handle this, for once. You did it. You got to safety. And once Superman is no longer smelling blue, you can apologize like ya wanted.

Enjoy space!

By declaring an entire species as non-sentient from the frankly biased and unscientific research from a single couple of Doctors, they nearly plunged their entire planet (and maybe dimension) into an unwinnable war.

Especially after they learn that Danny's technically royalty (not even technically, he IS, but he does his best to downplay it because he's too young, that he hasn't been crowned yet but that he would be once he's 18.)

The Anti-Ecto Acts are eventually repealed, after months of bellyaching and arguing by various politicians and bureaucrats and the Doctors Fenton leading the charge, claiming that the "Ghost Boy" had killed their son and possessed his corpse to trick people into trusting him.

Their words broke the poor boy's heart, even causing damage to his core, and he had to be sent to the Realms to rest and recover in the company of his friends and what remained of his family.

The heroes were disgusted by the blatant ignorance and did their best to shelter Danny from the hate. Often times, after his core recovered, the Green Lanterns stationed on Earth would take him to other inhabited planets, letting him have his chance to geek out and somewhat live out his dreams. They all wanted to give him a chance to live out what little was left of his childhood before he was inevitably crowned and responsible for the endless expanse of the Infinite Realms.

Get to live in the Watchtower. Eat in the Cafeteria and talk engineering with the support engineers who are happy to ramble on about their favorite subject (because, after all, you dont get a once in a lifetime job like THIS if it isn't your PASSION). Get fussed over for being "Too SKINNY!" By the cooks.

Train with random Heros in the Tower because he looks perpetually like a stiff breeze will knock him over. And it? Sets off their "must Protecc Son" iinstincts.

Yes, even the sidekicks.

Yes even the one's younger then him.

Robin is CONCERNED about him. How will he bear the burdens of kinghood? Has he been eating? You HAVE been attending your governance lessons, correct? Says the tiny knife child.

Aquaman sitting, huge and regal, in a casual slouch, at a spare desk in a side room with him. Pointing at notes made in a cheap notebook. Lessons he's learned the hard way. Little tricks. When in doubt, do this or that. Here how you...

Just? A true "it takes a village" scenario.

Everyone's friend and son and brother. Danny Phantom. The KID who gets to grow into being king. Who for once in his life IS actually ready. Is... Great. Glorious. Kind.

Shaped by kindness and patience and compassion into a Ghost of such power and benevolence? The effects are felt long, LONG after humanity is gone. After this one world is dead, recycled, and renewed.