When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

Forgot to close a parenthesis and now spirits enter me like a waterslide

“don’t take it personally” how would you like me to take it then? professionally? romantically? academically?

Like to charge, reblog to cast?

i heard my nephew got enslaved by cave bugs

wait to post about this until you’ve confirmed it

sorry

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

can we focus on the gnome for a second

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

these are the people i have to share a highway with

I’m starting to think some of y’all haven’t actually felt the rain on your skin… which is crazy because no one else can feel it for you

one moment ☝️ *pauses the blowjob to start violently coughing up blood*

#mybeast

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge