I don't stop until my teeth are touching

This is literally what it’s like

sometimes when you're travelling you will see a beautiful unique bird that captures your attention completely and you will discover that the locals call it the Boring Sparrow and there's 70 000 000 of them and they eat nothing but spicy chicken wings they find in dumpsters.

hello, average tumblr user. your challenge is to name a canonically lesbian female character in the tags of this post. if you name a male character for any reason, you will be shot in the head. good luck.

HATE when you can't stand someone who is literally harmless. Like oh I'm the bitch here. I'm 100% in the wrong but nonetheless fuuuccckkk this guy

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

MICHAEL MYERS WAS 21?????????????

he should’ve been at the clubbbbbb……..

Love character relationships that can only be described as "whatever the fuck these two have going on"

Confession time; while I may have started making my girlfriend lunches purely because I love her there’s now a little bit of gay spite involved as well. I want the straight girls she works with to see what they’re missing and hold their men to higher standards.

Operation Gay Spite has claimed its first straight relationship! I’m not sure I’ve ever been prouder of anything in my life!

If making lunch broke them up it was never a good one in the first place

He gets it.

I’m genuinely curious how the lunches caused the breakup to happen, and I fully support the Gay Spite lunches

the worst part of summer is that people get sooo comfortable expressing their disgust at having to see other people’s bodies. they’re always complaining about wrinkly old men at the nude hot springs or fat women in bikinis at the beach. I hate that shit. if you’re not capable of being normal about bodies you personally don’t find attractive, just turn your head to look at something else! and if you’re not smart enough to do that, then at least do the rest of us the courtesy of suffering in silence, because we don’t wanna hear your weird comments. thanks.