Meme Spaghetti

duuude is that a losing dog? *gets out my wallet*

[recommending something i sincerely love] ok so the thing about it is it kinda sucks

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled

Rat detected. Make him jiggle.

Holy shit I assume everyone is doing an up and down jiggle and maybe a side to side jiggle but if you jiggle your phone forward and backwards he jiggles in and out, too

[image description: picture of a chubby rat on a black background with a black and white checkered edge around the image. The text reads "gently shake the screen. make the boy boogie." If you shake the screen, there is an optical illusion that makes the rat jiggle. /end id.]

no one talks about how straight up painful it is to be the bigger person when deep in your soul you just want to be a huge bitch about it

so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.

The Hat Man is our greatest export

i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything

up my butt and hope to die

i hope the anonymous person who sent the "i used to live in your house. i'm drunk in boston and it's the only address i know. happy holidays" postcard is aware that they wrote my favourite poem

"And you, SUH! Are you waiting to receive my LIMP PENIS!?"