love you to the moon and to saturn

I'm so horny I could fuck a person I was attracted to #TRUE

babygirl I'm avoiding things that I don't even know about

does anyone have $1k and a parasocial relationship with me that may tempt them to send it to me

everyday i log onto tumblr dot com and post bullshit nothing burger

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.

If I keep practicing I might even be a person soon

*sees a beloved mutual in the notes* hi honey

Whenever I open my activities feed and it's just a list of a single mutual liking and reblogging a bunch of my stuff? Yeah, we're making out now

Starting to think some of y'all don't even want to go on a doomed polar expedition with me

much like a beautiful horse i like salt and roaming freely

"Yeah hold on, let me change out of my work clothes" [undoes a single button on my hawaiian shirt and nothing else]

they’re publicly executing me tomorrow for desiring a little attention