love you to the moon and to saturn

i pulled the sword from the stone but got shy and put it back. hope nobody minds 

youve heard of missionary position. now get ready for MERCENARY position

hes seen every thing

if i were a shrimp id be so embarrassed because everyone can see my poop line

Anything that reminds me of anything makes me wanna throw up

kindness is punk rock, beef bulgogi is dub techno and a paperclip is turkish black sea region folk music

i have [gestures vaguely] my tendencies

Me and my buddy got jumped by Foster the People

Do you guys call it aldi or aldis

aldis nuts

go fuck yourself motherfucker

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn

i'm subletting half an hour of my therapy session if anyone has anything they need to talk about

nvm she freaken forgor me

free my girl she did all that and that’s what makes her such a compellingly complex character. that’s her essence

because original sin isn't real in mormonism and dead babies automatically go to heaven this means it'd be okay to hit them with a baseball bat and win the world series