The Wizard Of Many Curses

Imagine The Fellowship all sitting around the campfire halfway up Caradhras retelling the events of the Hobbit to Boromir and Aragorn Rashomon-style with Gimli going "my dad tells it this way" and Legolas going "well, my dad tells it this way" and the Hobbits all going "but Bilbo tells it this way!" and, even though Gandalf was fucking there for half of it, he refuses to weigh in on anything because watching them argue is more fun and also he doesn't remember because it was over 75 years ago.

Even better: Gandalf remembers it perfectly fine but he keeps making shit up and agreeing to multiple different versions just to throw everyone off

[id: screencap of tags from tumblr user queenincheck, tag is "#gaslight gatekeep Gandalf" /id]

hey friends where is that picture of boromir with the gondor flag except its a pride flag?

oh my god i almost forgot to tell you all about how, while my dad was visiting, i had an infestation of every single kind of bug in my house that hasn't been a problem before or since. like i'm not kidding i evicted so many creeping crawlies that week and couldn't for the life of me stop mosquitos from stealing my blood, but as soon as he left they vanished. and i mean, sure, there's a perfectly rational explanation, because two people make more mess than one and he has a habit of leaving the windows wide open enough to fly a jet engine through day and night, but i can't help but think how symbolically on the nose it was. the ancestral rot at the heart of my family so gothic it's got ants and flies buzzing around its decaying corpse.

hey so update but i haven't been harassed by a single freaky little beast since my dad left even after leaving some crumbs on the floor as an experiment to see if they attracted any ants so i think my dad might just be bugs actually

you can’t talk about vampires and their views on menstrual blood anywhere else besides here. On account of the stigma

stigma fangs in your pussy. LOL

the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving

and what's the genital situation on the shadows

oh this is my post

*this meeting could have been an email voice* this cgi could have been a puppet

Me, seeing the first frame of this video: Oh, mama's at the end of her rope. :')

Unmute to hear the lion kitten’s reaction