Untitled on purpose

In situations like this, I feel like it's extremely unlikely that the executive cares one way or another; he's just trying to "big dog" you; and if you push back, he'll big dog you all the harder.

please wear sunscreen!!! I've seen "fuck the beauty industrial complex" posts about complicated skincare regimens and am 100% with them except sometimes they mention sunscreen and no. no. absolutely not. sunscreen is a wonderful supportive friend who wants to keep you safe, and you should let her do it. throw out all your other cosmetics and skincare products if you want, but keep your sunscreen. and if you're not wearing sunscreen, start wearing it!!!! this is not about terror of aging, this is not about every tiny imperfection our fucked-up culture has made you feel insecure about, this is about protecting yourself from skin cancer. wear the damn sunscreen.

i’m not even that much of a pervert i can just find the eroticism in anything. doesn’t get me bricked up necessarily i just like to appreciate it.

people who have obsessions are the only ones i know how to buy presents for. everyone else gets the loose change at the bottom of my purse

Honestly if you say or do something strange, an employee probably WILL tell all their coworkers about it all day, however they’ll basically never remember it was you specifically and instead just a faceless “customer” amalgamation of every time someone said something to them. Plus you’re giving them enrichment and something to mutually bond over. So really you’re doing an important service by being a little awkward.

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

Nobody should buy GTA til they free Arion Kurtaj

What with GTA VI going up for pre-order i'd just like to remind everyone that rockstar conspired with the UK government to lock an 18-year-old away for life for hacking them.

for a girl who loves sleep so much you think i’d go to bed earlier

daughter (non-practicing)

if i am not hot for myself, then who will be hot for me? if i am not hot for other jews, then what am I? if not now, when?

if you spend your life bitching and complaining about the fact people are 'expected' to engage in the dreaded pointless banal '''small talk''' instead of learning to trade pleasantries with the people around you, you will never know the true and heady joy of doing a dumb bit with a complete stranger and as a result your soul will remain small

#my favorite bit is when i wear my wrist braces in public and someone asks if I got hurt#and I tell them something patently insane #'I got into a Kung Fu Battle with the local canada geese' insane #and realizing that We Are Playing A Game #they will Yes And me #'Oh yeah they've been taking lessons from the squirrels' they nod #and within two minutes the lady cutting my fabric at the quilt store and I have a whole bit about the urban animals all being in rival dojo #The grandma behind me chimes in that the fat raccoons under her porch must be doing Sumo