A Place for Stuff.

no rest for me and im not even that wicked ?

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

The horse says, "I think I'm about to be homeless." The bartender, who now feels a little bad about the joke, says, "Oh, man, that sucks. What's going on?" The horse says, "It's the job market. It doesn't matter how good I am at SEO optimization. No one wants to hire a horse. The moment they look at my resumé and see the name 'Brushstroke', into the trash it goes." The bartender says, "Really? I had no idea." The horse says, "And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking why don't I just apply for horse jobs instead? Well, for the first few months I wouldn't. It was a matter of principle. I didn't become the first in my tailine to get a degree in computer science just to end up pulling a cart. But lately, I've given in. Because my saving's are running out, and my kids can tell that something's wrong. So now I'm doing interviews to let drunk tourists ride me, and the pay is peanuts, and you know what? I'm still not getting any offers! It's all going to younger horses!" The bartender says, "That must feel awful." The horse says, "You can't imagine! It's eating me up! People are trying to help, but they can't. They can only offer a couch for a few weeks or only a place for me, not for my family. It's like, every morning I have to come home to my husband and my two kids and tell them I'm not good enough to support them! I'm already having to juggle debt to handle his medical expenses, and then... then there's just the shame of it. I was sired for this! I was bred to do it! And I can't! I just can't pull it off!" The bartender says, "Wow. I don't know what to say." "I know," the horse says. "I just need to find a place that's stable."

My Chemical Romance is what they would call Breaking Bad if it were a yaoi manga

Adjusted value of Bees. Now that was a special one… because every item in the game had a minimum value, and a beehive was a container for bees, which each had a minimum value… which meant the moment one of your dwarves picked up a beehive, your entire fortress’ net worth skyrocketed… a value used in determining how powerful the foes that visit and try to murder you are.

Reblogging for the explanation of what “adjusted value of bees” actually means, because I know several folks following this blog have been wondering.

Okay but you’ve all forgotten the best Dwarf Fortress bug of all “Flying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedy” 

Actually I lied it’s the one where after a major update werewolves and vampires started climbing the nearest tree and refusing to come down. It turned out that he’d given evil creatures the ability to sense each other, but forgotten to set a maximum range on it, so werewolves were aware Hell was underground and trying to flee by climbing 

My fave dwarf fortress patch note is “i think i made fish too hardcore”. IIRC dwarf fortress has universal skills so everything that can swin has the swim skill. physical skills train strength, so increasing swimming will have a knock on positive effect for all physical skills. since fish are swimming all the time this meant fish were constantly raising strength and became unstoppable killing machines

this is the funniest piece of graffiti i’ve ever seen. thank you mr two pens

There’s good media, there’s bad media, there’s so bad it’s good media, and then there’s media that’s somehow all three of these things at the same time and I personally think that this category holds stuff like most decent reality tv, Bethesda games, and a lot of famous shonen manga.

Saturday! In the park! Must have beem the horse of july

i feel like im a weird age where i got just a blurry glimpse at the world Before. it used to be cold in the mornings and websites had fun games and the search results showed you what you searched for. covid wasn't a thing. can anybody fucking hear me. did i dream it all????

new enemy i came up with called the "false mimic" this is just some guy that hides in chests and bobs the lid up and down like a mimic breathing. he has 1 hp and if you smack the chest he starts begging for his life snot and tears running down his face

This is just Patches Soulsborne on any day that ends in Y.

the thing about being a Tech Person™ is the universe takes it as a challenge. oh you can handle normal problems easily? take some Extremely Not Normal ones. my friend just told me my outgoing voicemail message is in Italian for no apparent reason

its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"