Random Thoughts

My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.

Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.

Elrond: Alright, everyone listen up. We elves have 4 methods of dealing with Accursed Fucking Objects™, as demonstrated by my four parents. 

Number 1, the Elwing Method or Mom Method. This is to hide the accursed fucking thing away and keep it safe and close. This is highly not reccommended if the object can take over its user like the ring can, and Sauron will be searching for it, so this method is out of the question. 

Number 2, the Earendil Method or the Dad #1 Method. This is, send the accursed fucking thing across the sea or to some higher power. According to Mithrandir, the Valar will not take it and Tom Bombadil wants nothing to do with it, so this is also out of the question. 

Number 3 is the Maglor Method, or Dad #2 Method. This is to yeet the accursed fucking thing into the ocean. In this case, it is not a good idea as Ulmo will be very upset and we will still have to contend with Sauron. 

—

My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)

No parts of it extended beyond the lines, and the paper ticket was clearly displayed, impaled on a horn.

do you ever think about how much of the original trilogy artoo spent silently watching the drama go down with popcorn

The thing is - Hondo and Obi-Wan weren’t friends. They were platonic nemesis. Amusing opposites in terms of character, morality and generally speaking of the Law.

But they could have been friends. They knew each other through some harrowing self-induced shenanigans. Got to know and perhaps appreciate each other’s sense of humor. Admired each others wily cunning. Had an understanding, I think you would call it.

And Hondo was probably fond of Obi-Wan in the way you are almost compelled to be fond of someone who amicably thwarts your villainous deeds but never quite so well as to actually arrest you for them. That practically makes him an enabler, really, in a pirates point of view.

So this guy, right, this funny, tricky Jedi, it’s sort of a good day whenever you run into him, even if he’s always peskily getting in the way of your grand schemes and quest for riches. Whatever, he’s a damn fine drinking partner regardless!

Those are good times, all told. Good times.

And then one day you find out he’s dead. You find out that he was murdered. That every single one of his people, who, in your experience, are pretty similar under the surface ( they never give you too hard a time, after all. Good sports, and all that) has been murdered.

You liked him. You liked rather more than a few of them, actually.

You’re not sure if the two of you were ever actually friends.

(Surely you were, right?)

(You could have been.)

(There is no one left alive to ask.)

And it’s not - not this huge deal, right? I mean really, you barely knew the guy. Barely knew the funny young knight that was with him, or the spunky little padawan, or those brave and dastardly younglings.

But you just… think about that, sometimes. About them.

And you wonder.

The Law says they were all traitors. The government says they were corrupt. Says they bewitched people. Says they stole children and coveted power.

Hondo Ohnaka is a pirate. He’s never been on the right side of the law, or the government.

(Turns out we were both outlaws, eh?)

(So they say. So they say. I doubt it’s true.)

There is no one left alive to ask for the truth.

Whatever they were then, is whatever Hondo decides they were. There’s no one left alive to correct him.

So they were friends, he decides.

(We were friends, weren’t we? )

He just… would like to be able to have said they were. In the end.