Make This Right

Artfully layering an axe bodyspray deodorant and two different perfume oils to create a tasteful mixture of amber, oud, mint, lavender, moss and petrichor, producing a scent that smells exactly like damp, stale, rotting laundry.

Reminds me of that tumblr user that made powdered milk with sparkling water and created instant spoiled milk

That was also me.

Do you know any other ways to speed ruin things?

I wish I knew any other way to do anything.

Was just having a discussion with my fiance that taco bell should change their slogan to "it's gonna be okay" or at the very least shorten "live más" to "live". just feels like thats what we need from them

They should change it to "live por favor" and when they hand you your order you hold hands for a moment and look in each others eyes

dude star wars is so good and/or bad and/or mediocre sometimes, depending

Ohh so that's why they called that one show Andor

you know apparently you're not supposed to give kittens and cats saucers of milk? yeah what you're actually supposed to give them is 1-2 Modelo tall boys. easy mistake to make, happens to the best of us.

do i need to open them for them or do they got it handled

she took the pey wet in the divorce

I only got custody of our babby's yed. not even the full babby

she told the judge i had been smacking our barms

in Wigan I'm as good as fucked

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

I’m obsessed with my 19 year old coworker. I was telling him about how my crashout divorced dad got a sugar mommy by going to random churches and having screaming sobbing breakdowns in the pews until a random rich christian widow was like ‘I can fix him’. And he went ‘yo thats tech. The meta is changing.’

what is it they put in the hardware store to make it smell so good

mr beast has decoys

my boys and i took out 3 last year… wanted to figure out if they were clones or just different guys who underwent plastic surgery so we tried to get them dna tested but the sequences didn’t match any known living organism

"riding my biggest dildo imagining it's you" ok i ah. hm. i don't quite know how to say this but. perhaps instead consider a thimble

ragebaiting lemonade stand owner with one simple order

*Wriggling around on the lab floor* I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute. I’m so cute.