cuddly hell

i think it's officially over now. The incest is public. She embraces it. Kits pedo friends are encouraging people to draw incest for her. Aight. this is a shitshow and it doesn't seem like she will change, not at this rate. I recommend everyone to start leaving/moving to tags before the inevitable pr0shipper flood comes to avoid being exposed to triggering content

this is an archive of various sparklecare related media, i used to work on this months ago when i actually used to like the comic.

the big thing i really want to dispel is her claims im a nazi. i am not. i never was. what i was was insane things that happened after i left. she told like 14 initially and hyperfixated and had a special interest and i. yeah i turned the high ranking guys into ocs and stuff and made them redeemable characters in a story. but i eventually dropped that story in particular. she told people i was fact kin with josef mengele?? yes i talked about kinning the fictionalized versions but also people change and grow. it feels insane that by the time i left at 17 you were still hanging on to that. girl you never said anything that whole time you participated in integrating fictional versions that were reincarnations or direct changed versions and stuff of these men into our many stories when i was mainly doing this. you cannot act like i was the only one who did anything wrong. i was attached to particular iterations of characters later on that i was reluctant to let go of and yes that wasnt great but. yknow. resistance to change. i wasnt holding on to that bc i was a fucking NAZI. it was bc i was attached to the characters we created together, and the fact is that this was only an occurrence with a select few.

i fully acknowledge this was all weird and bad but i was a teenager and the way you talked about me was in horribly bad faith. it feels very much like you wanted to use things to make me into a villain

you also claimed i was a zoophile. and you seemed to have told multiple people that. while completely disregarding the fact that while we were together, you also participated in fictional roleplays with these themes. i remember you directly being very into the scenarios we roleplayed. i dont have receipts but i swear i remember you talking about fantasies involving your pet cat. i asked if you had ever done anything with him for real and that upset you, yes. i remember telling you that i did abuse a dog but i want to make that very clear to everyone it was a lie. i never should have ever done that. it was awful of me, it was gross and despicable. i apologized to you once later on about many things that i dont think were all things i needed to apologize for. you asked me at the time of that if that was true, and i told you it wasnt. you completely stopped responding to those messages after that. so you never acknowledged that either way. i did not ever abuse any animals for real. i said these things because for some reason, at my stupid teenage age, i thought it would be appealing to you. it was fucked up and wrong and i shouldnt have done that and i am still sorry

something in particular id like to address is when i apologized to you for things we roleplayed and shipped and participated in that i dont believe i should have had to. i apologized and took responsibility for incestuous ships and roleplays we engaged in. i told you it was my fault and i should have known better and i shouldnt have dragged you into it. that was unfair. i was at most two years older than you, and we were both sexually abused by family members + young minors with unrestricted internet access. these things we participated in together? you never told me you were uncomfortable with any of it. you led me to believe that you enjoyed it and were entirely comfortable with it. that it was helping us cope with what happened to us. i have moved on past using those things to cope with my trauma and i dont engage in those types of content anymore

i believe you have never acknowledged that you were the one that introduced some of these concepts. it has always fallen to me, to my knowledge. yes, i introduced sexual gore and cannibalism. you introduced necrophilia into our sexual interactions. i engaged in it with you at the time, but the introduction of these disturbing and problematic things never fell on my shoulders completely

you were the one who introduced ddlg/cgl dynamics into our relationship. and the situation did start out in a sexual manner at first before i expressed discomfort with it. later we reintroduced the daddy dynamic back into our sexual things and you were the one taking that role in our interactions

i was genuinely uncomfortable with some of the sexual aspects that were introduced to our relationship and roleplays. i did not voice any of this because you were incredibly sensitive and not receptive to criticism or facing problems. when i tried to talk to you about problems between us, you turned things around. you would break down and guilt trip me until you turned it around on me and i let it go. there were issues i simply stopped ever bringing up because of this behavior

i will not deny i had moments where i behaved in a toxic manner. some of these are not excusable and were born out of jealousy. but many of these werent out of nowhere. as our relationship progressed, you became increasingly smothering and dependent on me. i had to always constantly be there to offer support when you broke down. you would threaten me with suicide if i wasnt present enough or able to help enough. i had to constantly talk you down from threats of hurting yourself.

one particular instance seared into my memory is a time i had stated "sometimes i wonder if we were really meant to be", to which you immediately responded "im going to kill myself"

i will admit towards the end of our relationship, i would often take long stretches of time where i was silent, but part of that was indeed as i said, my parents taking my phone and such. not all of it was, but i felt like it was the only possible way to get away from things between us for a time. it felt like the only option because when i tried to speak to you about concerns, it never made a difference

one of the catalysts for my cutting you off was a point shortly before i left where we had settled on you coming to visit me for my graduation from high school. you were very fixated on participating in sexual activities while visiting. i was uncomfortable because i was growing closer and closer to turning 18 years old and you were still a minor. i felt like i could not say i was uncomfortable because of the way you constantly reacted to me trying to voice concerns or say no to things.

by that time, everything had built up for a long time. i was reaching a breaking point. my parents urged me to leave. i felt that i had hit a brick wall and had nothing i could do but leave and cut you off because i felt that if i tried to talk to you, i would end up being guilt tripped or threatened into saying.

a short time after my graduation, you texted me accusing me of lying about being raped by an ex friend. asking what the fuck was wrong with me. why would i lie about that. because a mutual ex friend told you i was all "buddy buddy" with that person at a graduation party. that was incredibly painful, especially as we were both survivors of sexual abuse prior. i had to explain myself to you (i shouldnt have had to) and explain that i did that because i didnt want to cause drama in the friend group i was at the party with

after you told me about what your sibling did, my dad called cps. you were removed from the home. we tried to get you out of living there. it did not work, but that effort was there.

i dont understand how you were able to make me out to be the villain and someone horrible after that. after we tried very hard to help you.

i think some of the issues in our relationship were attributable to the fact i am a gay man and i was not aware of that at the time

i do not really want to dredge up so many old personal things, but it seems like you havent changed much. and i have been paranoid for years because of what happened after i left. to this day, i still feel afraid to have a visible online presence. our relationship has had lasting effects on me that still make things difficult for me even today. i do not often think of you but when i do it isnt fun. i have kept all of this to myself for years because i have been afraid that if i spoke up or told my side of the story and i would be harassed or bullied. but at this point i do not really care. i just want people to hear my side.

i do not care if people do not believe me or you rebut my words. i have waited for a very very long time to say something. many of the less major memories are blurry, but there are many things i do remember

i hope you get help. i hope you recover. i hope you move past the ways you refuse to take accountability and always have done that. i ask people not to harass kittycorn over this, please.